First timer - words of advice/ support?

[sarphati]

34 weeks pg with first baby.

Not planned - but DP & me both very happy.

However as the pregnancy has progressed have started to really panic - all I hear from others is how hard it is coping with a newborn/6 month old/toddler/young child etc etc and really doubting my ability to cope - feel so overwhelmed and unprepared.

I have suffered with depression in the past and concerned about developing PND.
Also, my DP is wonderful and incredibly supportive - but he is starting a new job and won't be entitled to paternity leave.
Moved to where we currently live fairly recently so my relatives are not nearby - at least 3 hours away - and my mum died when I was a child.
Don't have great relationship with DP's mum who does live nearby.

Starting some antenatal classes next week so hoping to meet some others in the same boat there - but any positive words of advice would be very much appreciated.

Please don't worry, I have a two year old and though being a Mum is hard work she is the light of my life and I love her to pieces! I was worried to when I was pregnant as I was new to the area and had no friends. Going to my local sure start centre changed all that, they were so welcoming and now I have lots of lovely mummy friends who I wouldn't be without and couldn't have done without IYKWIM? I met one of my best friends through baby massage... So my advice is get out and about as soon as you feel able ( I felt up to it at about 6 weeks...) good luck and please try not to worry xxx

You sound like you have a lot on your plate! It is hard work but wait until that first smile....!
Try and make it to antenatal classes, parent groups, baby groups anything you can. People will always talk about their darling kids and stop to admire a baby. I find I know more people than ever through the kids.
In terms of depression .. I hope you don't develop it but don't hesitate to seek help if you need it.
Good luck!

You will be absolutely fantastic. Stop putting added pressure on yourself! Every mother has been in your shoes at one point, wondering how on earth they will cope and if they will be good enough - truth is you will cope, because you have no option but to cope. This tiny little baby depends on you, the most important person in it's world - it's Mum, and during my bleakest, most tired and weary times, that is the thought that got me through.

Everything will be fine, good luck, and enjoy it as much as you can - before you know it they are 2.5yo and running rings around you for 12 hours a day [frazzled emoticon]

People tell you the bad bits because that is easy to talk about. It is very hard to articulate what is good about having children and we don't live int the sort of society where gushing adoration is the thing. AN classes to meet some people for support and friendship in the early days is a good idea but please don't feel obliged to be friends for life (great if it works out that way but I certainly reached a point where I had nothing in common bar children the same age) and do whatever you need to build yourself a support network.

Thanks for your replies, Bangtastic that is a reassuring thought and beautifully put, thank you..

bigbadbarry - yes I have reservations about forming friendships solely based on having babies the same age but hope that meeting others in the same boat will be a crutch in the meantime, and if there are any I really get on with that'll be a bonus - as lolalotta says

Think a lot of it is fear of the unknown and constant negative comments from people, often complete strangers, sure they mean well but they don't help!

My first post on mn! I know its a late reply but couldn't resist your worry
I almost didn't have children thanks to all the horror stories you hear. But it has been tons of fun (1 x 18mo), any down-side is compensated for by the up a 1000x over. :-)
everyone has heard of the baby blues...but... what about the baby pinks!! Some ladies get such a rush of happiness they're floating on cloud 9 for ages. Soooo don't dwell in fear, go with the flow, as it will be a mad blend of chores and gazing at your cute bundle wondering how you could be so blessed, and in the scheme of things you'll measure up and not be found wanting. hth.

To me those last few weeks before my DS arrived were like getting ready for a blind date. :) All that apprehension was the same sort of feelings ... Would he like me? Would I like him? Would I do the right things or mess up? I was going to be a lone parent from birth so quite a daunting prospect. But I remember when they handed him over in the labour room and I had chance to size up his little face I said something like 'Oh it's you' because he had a familiar look about him. Then I started to think it would be OK. As it's turned out, I've been really lucky and that familiar look he started out with has developed over the last 11 years into a familiar character that I rather like. So the blind date went really well.... :)

What I will say is that I don't remember too much of the first few months. All a bit of a blur of sleepless nights and heading off for the shops in the slippers by mistake!!! But that's part of the fun and it only gets better.