I wish that just for one night bedtime wasn't a huge fight :(

[Birthdaygirl30]

It can't be nice for the boys going to bed like this.

Ds2 is 5 in feb. every single fucking night it takes an hour or more the get him to stay in bed. Even then he's up between 5 an 6am!

Ds1 has dyspraxia and other issues. Including not being able to get to sleep passed 10pm.

Ds3 is 1 in 2 weeks and still wakes up in the night, takes ages to settle. He has CPU, other allergies and reflux.

We all have bag under our eyes. We all snap and are naughty. ATM ds 2 is stood at my bedroom door whining he wants a drink over and over. Ds1 is at mils. Ds 3 is just stood up in his cot watching ds2.

I am exhausted. Between the three of them we don't get to bed until after 11. Baby gets us up at 2/3am for a Bottle. Then we are up for the day at 5. Dh and I take turns. We have done everything. Except cry it out or controlled crying as I just annoy sit and listened to him cry. Even if we do get baby settled earlier one or the other I the eldest wake him up with shouting, crying :(

Ds3 has cmpi not CPU silly iPhone

Can you divide and rule?

Like, get the oldest one settled quietly with a computer game and then you get the 1yo off to sleep and Dh gets the 5 yo settled in bed quietly with lots of reading stories and snuggles.

And then, whoever finishes first chats with the oldest one while he finishes his computer game, and then you quietly go up to bed with him, but make it a really special time for him - reading a story that's a bit too old and exciting for the little ones or something? So that he knows it's his own special time, and it's in his interests to be mousy quiet while you are getting the little ones off, so he'll get his time with you and/or Dh once the others are out for the count?

When I try to put more than one child to bed at a time, we all go into complete melt down (usually me first )

Hi Birthday girl. I'm so sorry things are going so badly for you at the minute and I don't mean to fry your mind further, but can you give me an idea of what the bedtime routine is from start to finish for all of your DCs? Does DS2 nap during the day?

DS2 is in full time school so no nap in the day.

Normally,

They come home from school and have dinner around 4/5pm, then they play, bath (not everynight)

DS3 has bowl of porridge around 6 and usually falls asleep after his bottle around 7.

DS2, either DH or I give him a drink (water or milk) takes him up brush his teeth, toilet and then read him a story in bed. Hes petrified of noises and the dark so we leave his door open, small lamp on and bathroom and landing light on, plus hall light downstairs. Hes usually up and down for the next hour or so, whigning, crying, we start off ignoring him but after a certain amount of time he wakes baby up. Because hes been woken up or is teething or unwell, he spends the next hour or so moaning, whinging, before falling asleep in mine or DH's arms.

DS1 is usually reading one of his harry potter books or on his computer during this time. DS1 and DS2 share a room so I do send them to bed one at a time.

Just feels like we are losing a battle each night and I dread it.

Should aslo add that DS2 has been referred for assessments over his behaviour, GP and HV thought it was a hearing problem, but we have since had that checked. He is loud, moves fast, boistrous, violent and generally hard work :(

I'd try two directions with DS2 - his bed time's the problem, isn't it?

1. try massive rumpus before bed time to really get all of those twitches out - tickling, squashing, squeezing, deep massage, swinging him round and round - all the sorts of things that those of us with sensory seeking SN children do. It'll either completely wake him up and give you a horrendous evening, or completely help him to unwind. If the former, sorry I suggested it! But you have to try it to find out...

2. Don't leave DS2 alone to go to sleep. More snuggly stories, and then sit with him quietly - or on the landing just outside so you can read your book give him some peace and quiet. Every time he makes a noise, go in and give him a hug and quietly put him back to bed, sitting with him till he's ready for you to slip outside again. From my perspective (but yeah, we have SN in our house) 5yo sounds really young for a child to be happy to pop off to sleep all on their own - he might just not be ready for it (and I'm sure lots of families with completely neurotypical children will jump up and down and say of course a 5yo should be able to fall asleep alone. It just wouldn't work in my house, that's all).

If he's sensory seeking, then heavy blankets might help, or getting him really well tucked into bed (almost swaddled), hugging him firmly as he drops off etc etc etc - the intense need for assistance passes, really it does, but a sensory seeking 5yo might well need extra help at bed time (if he is indeed sensory seeking, which it sounds a bit like from your post)

Thank you will try those tonight. He has a heavy quilt and a "blankey" which is his old cotbed quilt that he sleeps with. I do most nights end up sat outside his room. But this can go on for hours and hours.

Not sure about sensory issues, I have dealt with SN in DS1, but he was never this bad his sensory issues were and are mainly around certain noises.

Unfortunately last night the neighbours decided to let fireworks off at 1am (they started them at this time?!?) and it turned DS2 into a mess, first of all he ran downstairs to look for us, but we had gone to bed (we did go into him on the way up to say happy new year) but he ran down into the dark house and took a while to calm down. An hour later baby was awake.

Thankfully DH got up with them this morning and I managed to sleep until 10:30am for the first time in a long time.

Some of these energy filled children need exercising like a dog! There are some weeks when we are really really active all day long, walking and running miles and climbing and swinging etc etc. And noone ever has any trouble dropping off on those evenings :)

I folded his quilt up in half and put him to bed after a story and a cuddle and a kiss on the head he has stayed in bed! Hurrah, could be down to late bedtime though, he didnt go up until 9 tonight as we have been visiting family

Hooray! Maybe he just does need extra weight on top of him. Or maybe he was just zonked from seeing relatives (don't you sometimes wish you could do a properly controlled scientific experiment on your children?!)

He was bad again last night. He's at MIL's tonight, but he goes to bed there at 7 on the dot she says because she sleeps in the same room as him. DS3 is ill so has only just gone down. Back to square one tomorrow!

hey, sounds like you're having a nightmare. Would a star projector lamp help your 5 year old? like this: www.amazon.co.uk/National-Geographic-Double-Globe-Planetarium/dp/B005C91IHS/ref=sr_1_6?s=kids&ie=UTF8&qid=1325981833&sr=1-6 might be interesting enough to keep him in bed. or let him look at books until he falls asleep? Not ideal I know but perhaps even watch a dvd quietly in bed? Think of ways to make bedtime more fun so that he stays in bed and goes to sleep. Perhaps even a new bed if you can afford it - a cabin bed os something fun (Ikea have a great range of fun kids beds).

Sorry I can't help with any suggestions for the younger two - my son is 11 now so it all seems like a long time ago (he is now at the stage of dragging bedtime out as much as possible! haha!)

Hope you manage to sort it out and get some sleep.