Advice on 18 month old early morning waking

[Jellybaby8]

Hi everyone just joined and could really do with some advice.

Our 18 month old has been waking up at 4.30am every day like a robot without fail for at least the last 2 months. After initially speaking to our health visitor we told her we'd given him a bottle and it seemed to send him back to sleep with my husband on his floor till maybe 6-6.30. She told us whilst not best practice and advice if its sending him back to sleep then stick with it.

Problem is now 2 months down the line he goes back to sleep perhaps till 5.30 and won't go back to sleep. This in turn is leading him to be so tired so he falls asleep possibly around 9-9.30 and is just a viscous cycle we're going through and the lack of sleep for me and my husband is starting to wear us down. We saw a doctor yesterday who advised we should do controlled crying as he's clearly waking expecting milk.

Now I've usually been against controlled crying as I tried it when he was 6 months old but couldn't handle it but now I'm thinking its the only way.

On a separate note at bedtime (7pm) he has his milk we put him in his cot and he settles himself and falls asleep without us and without any fuss and sleeps through till 4.30am.

Has anyone experienced something similar and if so what did they do?

put him down later?

I used controlled crying, really hard but well worth it. I have to go to a place where I can't hear him for a bit then it is ok. Expect to cry yourself! I know people who didn't do this convinced kid would grow put of it and still have the same issue two years on. Go for it and lots of luck

gosh, i dont know about advice, and certainly not 'best practice' but we have a 19mo and are having the same issues. FWIW it is the best sleep we have ever had with her, but the waking before 6 is driving me potty, and I am a dentist so hate giving her food/ milk in bed etc.
She wakes up hungry at 5ish... she is definitely hungry; sayinh 'toast' or milk. We tried water, and she went back to sleep for 20 mins, but it is hunger I am certain.
Is your little one a petite one? ours is; she doesnt eat brilliantly, and has had a small appetite. I think she has a small tummy and doesnt have enough to keep her going until later.

Things we have tried that work ( but make me feel uncomfortable)

1. waking her up at 1030 when we wake up for a cup of milk; she goes through to around 7
2. trying to give her some porridge in her jim jams with her story ( before tooth brushing) ( has resulted in early poop wake ups at 630 ish)
3. Give her an oatcake or biscuit and some milk in her cot at 5 ( and not sit there while she has it) and wave goodbye. She is so hungry she eats it and doesnt cry when we leave; she has been going back to sleep until 7.

We haven't tried CC since she was about 9 months, as she broke us. It was dreadful- she has an iron will, and we live in a college so were worried about keeping people up. We gave in in the end which i think made it worse ( triumphant little look on her face after crying for 90mins )
DD2 is coming along in 10 weeks or thereabouts; so hoping this phase might end soon.

Interestingly; we left her with my parents for 2 nights and she woke at midnight and then not until 630. I was a bit mad!
Hope it gets better for you soon. If you have any ideas please do IM me.
x

Really sympathise. DS did this from about 9 months of age til about 16 ? months ish. I work nights so it was a nightmare getting up at 5 and then being awake through til 9 the following day. When he woke I would do all I could to treat it like nightime - his room was pitch black with blinds/curtains etc and I would br feed him back to sleep. This enabled me to restructure daytime sleep so he didn't crash out at 9am. The waking early can be a result of over tiredness
as they go to bed they fall into a really deep sleep early on. So one solution may be to try and encourage later naps or slightly longer ones.

You probably need to experiment but try for at least a week to allow his body clock to adjust. If I can think of anything else I will post again.

Just a thought, is the 9.30am nap the only nap of the day or does he have another one later?
My DD is 14 months and went through a bout of 4.30am waking, then sleep till 6ish and our HV gave the same advice.
She was napping the same, 9 to 9.30am then again at about 3, bed at 7pm. Then gradually her afternoon nap stretched out too late and was affecting bedtime, so I tried to give her a busy morning (baby group or similar) so she'd just take one later lunchtime nap and the rest has just fallen into place, bed at 7ish and sleeps till 7am. She did it on her own, no cc luckily.

If she does wake early, I still give milk, keep lights low and don't talk to her.
If it's your DS's only nap of the day, I'd try and stretch it out, even by half an hour or so, make it a little bit later perhaps.

Google the 'wake to sleep' method - it might be worth a try. It is designed for babies that wake up at exactly the same time every night.

Basically you set your alarm for an hour before their usual waking time (so for you that would be 3.30am ) and you go in to their room and just rouse them a little by whispering to them/moving them slightly/stroking them - not enough to wake them up but enough to disturb them. Do this for about 3-4 nights then the next night leave them and it should have broken the habit.

Sounds like torture and it is - but it does work It does require a huge amount of willpower and a big leap of faith so it depends on how desperate you are

I'd go with trying waking up at 11.00pm for a bottle, worked with one of mine but failed with the other.
Also a lighter lunch followed by lots of fresh air/exercise/swimming followed by big early dinner and then big bottle at usual bedtime. (seems to work better with second child)