Nasty things on the news

[jimmychoos]

I am a bit of a news junkie - the Today programme is on most days while we eat breakfast and I often have the news on btw 5 and 6 whilst I'm cooking (kids coming in and out of the kitchen.) My oldest son is 3 and a half and he's started to pick up on things they say on the radio that interest him and ask questions eg "why did the helicopter crash?" I've suddenly become really aware of how much on the news could be disturbing to him if he was listening properly - do other people 'censor' the news when their children are around? Should I just turn the radio off?

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jimmychoos, I can't stand listening to most of it myself (call me an ostrich) so it doesn't arise in our house. I get most of my news by reading The Observer on Sundays and internet headlines if I need to. Sorry, not much help I don't suppose but I stopped listening to Today in about '97 and I know ds would be asking if I still listened. I think I'd tell him the edited truth if he asked, emphasising that he doesn't need to worry about it, it's adult stuff.

jimmychoos, i do try to, i even think the soaps are too much now. My dd is 2.6 and picks up on everything, luckily she is in bed 7.30/8 so not too much on before then!As for the news, can't say she's been affected by anything yet but she found the Concorde story fascinating

I don't watch the telly in front of my children at all. They are only allowed to watch telly for half an hour a day, so the rest of the day the telly is switched off. You never know what might scare your children. It could be something perfectly innocent,but for some reason the images scare them.

Fairymum - it's radio rather than television. I wouldn't have 'grown up' tv on when my kids are around either, I don't think it's appropriate as I agree with you about images being more powerful than words at that age. Interesting tho' why I feel differently about the radio - especially when I know my ds is extremely good with language for his age and probably understands a lot more than I think he does.

sobernow - I think its the soham news story that has really prompted my thinking - I've been turning it off too.

I think I'd lie in your case Sobernow - something like, it was an accident, their silly mummy thought they were rubbish, or some such. I lie my head off to ds on benign issues eg: There are no more chocolate buttons. They've all gone, so I think I'd be fine about lying to protect his peace of mind. Actually, I don't like him watching anything except Cbeebies and videos as I find he gets a bit worried watching things he doesn't understand even if they are harmless enough. With my stepdaughter, we'd either censor her viewing - esp the news which we'd watch later at night, or try to explain it as reassuringly as possible. Having said this, she is very well balanced, and even though in the past she's seen stuff I was worried about - even on shows like Friends and Will and Grace - she is fine. She doesn't swear and isn't afraid of being abducted or anything. I personally wouldn't let young children watch soaps at all, and don't much like them myself!

Cross-posted...I can't imagine not listening to R4 but luckily nobody ever stays in the kitchen when I'm listening to the news - they're in the living room watching The Simpsons or Tikkabilla, depending on age. I think the Soham thing is disturbing - I'm not sure children feel very sorry for adults but worry about themselves much more iyswim. I used to worry a lot about having newspapers in the house but luckily my sd was totally uninterested in them, and still is really. She loves Heat though! (she's 12)

Jimmychoos,I hadn't really thought of the radio. I only really listen to it in the car, but often when the kids are with me.
What about newspapers? My DD sometimes look through it. I have been hiding them while this Soham-trial is going on though. Too horrid

This is really topical as I am about to moan at Radio 4. I often have radio 4 on in the car if I can get away with it (ie no screams for story tape). This morning at 8.30 when I and many other mothers were doing the school run, there was a really lewd report about party organisers choosing strippers for footballers parties. I was listening with half an ear and didnt click till my 6 year old said "why are the girls showing their knickers mummy". Obv. I then turned off straight away but why put that item at that time, much earlier or after 9 would have been better.

At what age should you start introducing them to the realities of the world including bad news stories like Soham. Obviously 3 and 4 years old like most of your kids (ie those who have posted here) is too young and wisely the subject gets changed / radio gets turned off, but when is it appropriate? How will we know? Was just wondering...

I think this is a very difficult subject to handle partly because there is so much news about these days. Its a fine line between letting them gently become aware that sometimes bad things do happen and scaring the daylights out of them and I think it will vary from child to child how they deal with it.

Dd had a baptism of fire last year when her school was closed after the Bali bomb, because it had been identified as a target for a terrorist bomb attack. When the school reopened after two weeks, it was bristling with soldiers with automatic machine guns, children had to have overnight bags in school in case they were unable to get home or held hostage and everyone was constantly security checked. It was a very tense time and difficult to explain to a child why all this was taking place. DD didn't really bat an eyelash at it but instead developed an overpowering fear that a volcano would erupt in the school grounds, kind of displacing the real concern.

Last week she commented on a BBC NewsRound item about that poor lad who was stabbed at school. NR said something like 'Incidents such as these are very rare, only four children have died in schools in five years' DD said "Not many?? That's a LOT." (A sentiment I tend to agree with tbh.)

I was about 11 when the Moors Murders trial took place and my mum hid all the papers. I remember being very frightened by what I did hear, I think it was the first time I realised awful things could happen to children.

I have always avoided the news (and soaps) with ds. Even when he was a baby I didnt want him to hear screams or shouting on news footage. I know one day he will have to learn that the world is a difficult place but he is only 3 and I want his world to consist of only lovely things for a while longer. I wouldnt even watch scarey films when I was pg in case the vibes scared the baby ... I'm probably a bit OTT with that one!

This is difficult, and something I've been debating myself recently. I think I'm with Bunny - I don't want my kids to have to think about this kind of thing just now. I'm not trying to wrap them up in cotton wool, but I think childhood should be innocent, and they shouldn't have to deal with it yet. Mine are 5 and 2 1/2, and I don't know when the right time is to stop 'censoring' them, but I really do think they are too young yet. I guess I'm aiming for the idyllic childhood, I want my kids to look back and remember a safe happy time, for them not to be frightened by things which they have no power over. I hate to feel frightened, and I think it's worse when you're probably too small to fully comprehend the implications and intricasies.

Difficult...but I think I go with the 'censorship' argument.

If my 9 year old asks me questions on news stories dh and I will answer him truthfully but editing out some details, but our sons hardly ever watch the news anyway. The 4 year old hasn't asked any difficult questions yet.

I never watch soaps so I am ingortant of much that goes on. The bits I do pick up paint such a cynical or tragic picture of adult family life. That worries me. I would not be happy to let my 9 year old watch a soap for great lengths of time, unless I was up on the story content and felt it was harmless. My 9 year old is still quite innocent, still doesn't really know the facts of life, or the seamy side of things, and doesn't seem to want to know either.