How long do you think it is reasonable to leave a 2 year old to their own devices in their bedroom when they wake up in the morning?

[ceebeegeebies]

If your DC is wakes up, say, at 6.30, do you think it is reasonable to leave them to play by themselves until at least 9?

OP, I owe you an apology, I didn't realise that you were talking about your sister. She is being unreasonable.

Depends on day, what they're doing, etc. DD was in her room alone till gone 9 this morning, but since she didn't wake till 8.35 and was then just making her "waking up noises" I left her to it. No nursery today, no guests coming, no planned activities, and she's wiped out after the Christmas excitement.

If DD wakes up at 6.30, I definitely ignore her because 9 times out of 10 she'll be asleep again within 10 minutes. She goes to bed 7ish, her normal wake-up time is around 7.30 and she'll get up closer to 8. Having said that, you can always tell by the sound. She has "waking up noises" which are just little murmurs, sometimes she'll go back to sleep and sometimes they'll go on for 15 mins before she wakes up properly - but if you go in to her in that time she is not a happy bunny and shouts that she's "having a nap" and "no get up yet". She's not a morning person... Unless I absolutely need to rouse her at a particular time, I always leave her till she shouts "Mummy, I'm awake now! Come in my bedroom!". If it's earlier than usual, or a weekend and I'm not up, I'll call back "no, you come in ours" and there'll be a giggle, the sound of scampering feet and she'll appear and climb into bed with me/us. So basically, we know she can if she wants to...

DD's been in a bed since 17m, she's 2.5 now. She's big enough and there's nothing stopping her from coming in at any time she wants, plus she's good enough at communicating that there's no possibility of her being misunderstood. As for breakfast, she simply doesn't like eating early. If you try giving her food before 8.30ish at the very earliest, she'll push it away and say "not hungry yet, later". She prefers 9.30ish. It's a PITA sometimes, but I don't like eating till I've been up for at least an hour either. I just get up a lot earlier! (Also she still has severe reflux - she does get a cup of milk which contains the medication pretty much as soon as she wakes and I think she needs to get that down her and settle before she can have food or it comes straight back up, so may be different for us). Wet nappies aren't an issue at her age, either. If she's wet, she'll shout out "I'm wet, change my nappy please" (she's very polite with her commands) or if she's being particularly enterprising, she'll change it herself - go into the bathroom, rip off the wet one, pull on a pull-up and her pyjama trousers and get back into bed . She doesn't bag and bin the wet nappy yet though, she usually leaves it on the floor for me to find... really must have words about that . She has a drink of water in her bed and will help herself if she's thirsty.

So - I wouldn't necessarily judge your sister and bf, think it very much depends on the child. If they really are ignoring her, it's poor parenting but if the child's not hungry, not unhappy and drowsy rather than actually awake, and has the ability and resources to communicate wants and have them responded to, then leave them to their own business. Not all toddlers get up at the crack of dawn and some do need to be prised from their beds. You didn't say what time their DD goes to bed, whether she has a nap, etc...

Wingding I have said previously that she goes to bed at 7ish and she does have a nap after lunch for anything up to 3 hours. She is happy enough tbh so I know it isn't really an issue - it just jars with me a little.

My parents were staying with my sister and on Boxing Day, my mum said she was up, heard that the 2 year old was awake at about 7.30 so she went up and got her and spent a lovely 2 hours playing with her downstairs

No kid should be left alone that long. It's nothing to be proud of. As painful as early rises are, I think an hour max is reasonable. Little children need attention often.

How is the mother to her child the rest of the time? I hope you lavish the child with attention when you see her, op. Plus I would have to make some comment next time the mother brags about her lie ins. Something along the lines of,"Gosh. I couldn't leave my dc lonely for such a long time. It would make me sad."

Tbh, the child is pretty much left to her own devices most of the time - I can't actually remember seeing either my sis or her bf showing her much affection although I do know their DD is not an affectionate child as we often comment on it as my DS2 (who is a few months older) is also not an affectionate child However, me and DH are always grabbing DS2 for a kiss and cuddle or tickle (although he does protest about this whilst giggling!)

I suppose I should say that the child is not my sister's child (she is her bf's child) but she has lived with my DSis and her bf since she was about 4 months old (she had been in foster care from birth up to then) and she is treated just like one of the family by all of us. My sister has 3 DC herself who also live there but they are quite a bit older (14, 10 and 8) and never surface out of bed until 9 at the earliest either.

I would leave a child playing happily in their room until they decided it was time to get breakfast etc when DC was 2 he could be left for about 30/40 minutes before he wanted anything/anybody. He would potter around his room, playing, looking at his books etc.

I think it is too long really. At 2 my DD was in her own bed and would come and find us to demand food if I did not wake once I heard her on the monitor. Half an hour maybe if they are not wet/hungry and are chatting to teddies/playing with toys and you can clearly hear them on monitor/through open door whilst you doze, but two whole hours?

My DD is now 2.5 and will come in tell me she is hungry and she needs the potty/has wet the bed when she wakes. Once fed and changed she will play happily in her room by herself, but never for two hours without any contact. I get 30 minutes max before I hear 'mummy'.

if the child is happy playing until 9am then fine. If not then obv not. We leave our DC for as long as possible in the morning. Why wouldn't you?

I have 4 children and can say in all honesty that they have never played quietly by themselves for that length of time without interaction with us until their teens. I would find a 2 yo quietly playing for 2.5 hours eerily spooky tbh. Apart from the fact that mine could all climb out of cots by 12 mo never mind 2, they would have been down the stairs helping themselves to anything they could reach (ie most things if you include things that can be reached using chairs and climbing) within the hour. Either that or bouncing on our heads prising open our eyelids DD3.

I leave mine until they start moaning but there is two of them. They wake about 7:30am and normally i get up about 8:30 but sometimes it has been nine. one is in a cot and one in bed so the one in bed passes toys into the cot and they have a little play together. sometimes ds1 will climb into ds2s cot and they will play in there.

I think you are a bit jealous tbh!

Jealous? No, I don't think I am. We are talking about leaving a very small child, still a baby really, awake and unsupervised for half a morning. Nothing jealousy-inducing. FWIW the social services take a very keen interest in very young children left to fend for themselves for hours on end and having to find their own food.

FWIW the social services take a very keen interest in very young children left to fend for themselves for hours on end and having to find their own food.

I cant find where the OP said her niece was having to find their own food? She said her niece played in her bedroom. Being left in a room while playing is not having to 'fend for themselves'. I don't think SS would even bat an eyelid at this situation.

Wasn't it another mother who was ill and asleep and her dcs managed without her just the once? Not the op's niece.

Anyway op, maybe you could make a real fuss of the little girl whenever you see her. No harm in an auntie making her niece feel super special once in a while, is there?

Even the situation with the other poster, I'd be highly surprised if ss took any interest in that situation either.

duchesse where does it say she is left to find food?!

The OP said she is a happy child! She said she goes back to sleep anyway so what is the problem??!

my 2.5 year is content to play on her own until 9ish. she usually wakes up at about 5ish. She was waking me up because she was hungry so I started to leave her a sandwich and drink just before going to bed. She now has her sandwich and is content to play on her own.

Its not uncommon that I wake up say hello to her and she gives me a happy hello then carries on playing not really caring to come out of her room. Admittedly, if she is bored on her own she will go and wake up her brother (which is kind of hilarious to listen to them bicker) Or she will peer around our door playing peek-a-boo. If you pretend to be asleep she will quietly sneak over (or so she thinks quietly, usually giggling) and come over to give you big wet sloppy kiss and cuddle.

so no, I dont think there is anything wrong with leaving a two year old on their own. Oh noes, a toddler has their own independance.

I agree that that is quite a long time for her to be playing on her own, but on the other hand I don't think that it is necessarily an odd thing for small children to be happy playing on their own in the mornings and certainly although you are happy with the early starts, not everyone is. All my children were most decidedly trained (gently!) not to bother DH and I too early, we would just tell them to go back to their room as it's not yet time to get up and they soon learned, we were firm about it. My youngest is 2, his sisters are 6 & 4. Usually sometime around 7.30 one of the girls will open the stair gate over his door so he can come out and play with them and they will rattle around happily without coming near us for an hour or so at least. He's quite capable of going to the loo without help from me. It's quite sweet actually, I can hear them pottering about and playing but manage to doze happily! So yes maybe that is a bit long, is it really every day though (don't they have to get up?), we are up at 7 am every day during the week, so even though my children are left to their own devices from 7.30 (when they wake) to 9 ish on the weekends it's only a couple of days a week.

Our 2 year old is in the room next to ours with a baby monitor so I can always hear him. He wakes between 6-6.30 am, has a little chat to himself then his sisters (6 and 4) go in his room and play with him. This normally results in all the toys out all over the room but as long as they are all playing happily and not arguing I leave them til 7. If I get up any earlier they want breakfast and if the eat b4 7 they want another helping of food just before the school run!

Would never leave a small child alone for 2.5 hours though and why do they need to stay in bed til 9?

I guess they need to stay in bed till 9 because they want to?? Nobody needs to stay in bed till that time do they? It is only at weekends normally but obviously over the last couple of weeks, it has been most days.

I guess the answer is each to their own - me and DH would love a lie-in together occasionally but have always accepted that that is one of the things you sacrifice when you have DC.

Those of you who have other DC - I am not sure it is comparable as they have company and generally an older sibling to speak up for them if they are unhappy iyswim.