Helping 4 month old cope around other people

[WillSingForCake]

My 4 month old DD gets very upset in busy or crowded places. I try to avoid them because of this, but its not always possible. At home she is happy & smiley, but in shops/cafes/family gatherings etc, she looks around for a few minutes & will then start crying, even if I'm holding her or she's in her sling. If removed from the situation, she calms down quickly. Makes me feel a bit isolated, as I'd like to take her to baby groups etc, but she finds it so upsetting to be in a busy environment.

I appreciate she's very little & she's my first baby so maybe this is something all babies are like and I just didn't realise, but I'm after a bit of advice really. Do I keep exposing her to situations she finds scary in order to help her adapt, or do I try to give her a sheltered life for now until she's a bit older?

Not all babies are like this, but my DS was and it made me feel isolated too. I tried both ways and found he was much happier when I avoided anything too hectic - it made it difficult for me to make mummy friends, but I found it even more difficult being at baby groups when he was upset.

As DS got older he was able to cope better with stimulating situations, although even now (3 years old) there are some things he finds too noisy.

You might find 'The Highly Sensitive Child' by Elaine Aron helpful.

What kind of sling do you have? Is she facing you and shielded? She might get tired quite easily and not cope.

Tbh at 4 months, baby groups were too much for DS. Better to have people over etc. As he got older and could stand being awake for any length of time then we did the playgroups thing!

She's in a Baby Bjorn facing inwards which helps, but sometimes she cranes her neck to view whatever it is she is scared of, and then cries even more! Always makes me think of seeing a car-crash - it makes you uncomfortable to look, but you just can't help yourself!

DD was very scared of loud noises, and at two still can be. I always took a softly softly approach with her (based on gut instinct) and she is a very happy socially confident toddler, but one who still runs to her mum when there is a loud noise (I don't see this as a problem).

She found swimming in particularly terrifying, so we took it very gently, always going to the side for cuddles if she got scared and choosing quiet pools. Now shes the toddler shreiking with giggles when she's in the pool with us.

It will get easier.

Not an expert, but I feel this approach has worked for us.

Katy

DS is 5m and was exactly the same. If he was anywhere except at home he would scream. The more I didn't take him out the harder it was. I have started taking him out and letting him see other people he isn't familiar with. With the exception of a restaurant we have dinner at, he has improved greatly. I had to attend a funeral the other week and had to leave him with my cousin I was so worried he would scream the place down but she said he was an angel(phew) my advice is to keep taking her out so that she is used to seeing other people than just you.