Feeling really bad about getting cross with ds1

[princessProudmel]

He is almost 9 and I find him such hard work. I could have 10 more kids and he'd be the hardest to deal with . He is the eldest of 3.
He is clever, popular, friendly , funny, confident , chatty, full of beans etc etc
But he can also be so wingey, moany, always asking for things or to go on things ( ps3, wii, my iPhone etc)
He complains A LOT if I ask him to tidy, read ( that's a massive trigger) etc. He doesn't just complain though, he cries and it's ridiculous.
Virtually every time he has to turn off any sort of computer he cries , gets angry , moany. even though I talk to him before, tell him how long he'll have to go on it. Tell him how I expect him to not have a strop when it goes off . Warn him when it's almost going off etc etc. But he still does it.
It's like he's never satisfied . And unless everythig is about him he's not happy.
This last few months I've got so cross about it all. It's constant and draining . And makes me get cross over things that are actually not that bad.
But when he's in bed, I feel so bad for getting angry.
Today after a totally ott bout of crying after being asked to tidy up 3 moshi monster cards I put him on the thinking mat, and he was shouting and screaming at me, so I made him write lines!!! And then no more laptop for the rest of the day.
My friends say their children are the same but I do feel like it's really getting me down.
I try to ignore stuff and say ' oh he's a child, it what they do' but it's hard.
Gosh this is really waffly and I'm on my iPhone so I can't scroll up and edit what I've written !! Sorry for typos or if it doesn't make sense.

This could have been me posting about my 7 yr old!! I know how you feel, it is constant nagging, i don't have the crying but do get "attitude" which is just as bad as it comes across as rudeness. I have had plenty of chats with him explaining that i have to nag/moan/whinge/shout at him because i don't want him to grow up into a not very nice man. I also explain that i have to be mean sometimes as thats my job as a mummy, but at the end of these discussions always tell him i love him.

The strops over finishing the wii etc, its VERY common for boys especially, i think because they get into it so much, and its all testosterone !!
My DS is obsessed with football and goes out rain, snow or shine every day, he is so much worse if he hasn't been out at all.

Does your DS have any physical/ outdoor interests?? Perhaps he could go outside for a little while each day and his reward could be half an hour on his wii/x-box??

Perhaps you could start a points system to build up time on his toys?? Each time he helps you or does as he's asked without crying he earns say 15 mins but if he strops the next time you ask its taken away??

I just wanted you to know that you really are not on your own and it is just a boy thing, they need to burn off energy just like a puppy sometimes .

I think i would leave it until the new year for now and try and let it go over you until after christmas as the last thing you all want is to be feeling like a bad mummy over what is a magical time of year.

Hi :)
He does do lots of outside and 'burning off energy' activities usually - none at the mo as it's the holidays . But even when he is doing these , he is exactly the same. Even in the hols when he's swimming/playing football all day etc.
I've tried numerous reward schemes , stickers, marbles , etc but he gets so focused on the reward that that in itself causes problems.
And these schemes tend to phase out. Maybe i'll start one again though .
I feel so guilty as I don't want to be cross but I just get so fed up of it.
On a positive side he has stopped having a tantrum every day when I collect him from school. He used to have one every day over playdates/ having to go to one of his sisters clubs/ going to the park/ not going to the park/ etc etc . they have stopped thank goodness . They were awful.
His teachers say he never is like this at school and he's not like it at other people's houses .
Mum says I do too much for him but I really don't. I ask him to help tidy, do the recycling put clean socks and pants away, wash his football boots etc etc .
I try to let him stay up a few nights a week to have time with just dh and I. Not very late but later than his sister and brother. None of this seems to help.
Sigh