Should the school have told us about this incident?

[Chooster]

Ds1 is 7 and is quite a quiet sensitive boy. It was his last day of term today (half day) and I've been out for most of it. DH did the pick up and had our 3 DC all afternoon until I came in. He said DS1 was really playing up all afternoon and then this evening he's been rude to me and really crying. After a while when he calmed down I talked to him to see if anything was bugging him and he said an older boy at school had thrown him over the gate of the school grounds so he was outside of the school. Apparently the gate was locked so DS1 couldn't get back in until the janitor came to open it and this was only after the bell had rung for break time to end. He said he got told off by the head teacher for being outside of school.

He then told me he told his form teacher who said he could play outside with 2 friends of his choice as he had missed some of his break time.

I'm fuming and gutted that something so horrible has happened to DS. I hvae no doubt that he is generally telling the truth but some of the facts may be blurred as he is upset, which is why I am annoyed that the teacher didnt say anything to us - at least to advise that DS had been crying at school after an incident and to tell us what she knows. I'm also annoyed by the thought of a 7 yr old being outside the school grounds and us again not being told.

Am I just in a haze of anger because no-one wants their child to suffer at school or should we have been told?

"Outside the school grounds" briefly wouldn't bother me for a 7yo, plenty of 7yos walk to and from school alone in other parts of the world.

Did your DS tell the staff how he ended up over the fence, or make it seem like he climbed over himself?

I had to mull it over, because being chucked over a fence is pretty extreme & if OP's DS didn't tell his parents then who has he told? I don't think my y6 DC could chuck any 7yo over a gate, either, but I guess if it's an especially big y6 & an especially wee 7yo. Much easier if the 7yo was cooperating... I just smell a rat in this story, sorry.

And how much out of school grounds was it? Just into the staff carpark or into the road with passer-bys?

I think they should have told you, but I'm not sure they even knew what happend, yet. Our school would have told you that the child had gone unauthorised outside the gate.

My dad used to climb over the school fences regularly at that age, in spite of paddling to deter him.

Yes, you need to find out more about this; either from DS (when he has calmed down) or by enquiring at the school. Some bits of the account so far seem a bit strange/garbled and I do think you need to establish the proper chain of events. I hope it proves less than it seems, and that his out-of-character behaviour is a combination of end-of-term exhaustion and pre-Xmas excitement.

I would definitely be ringing the school for clarification!

There are definately some bits that seem a little garbled and while I want to find out exactly what happened I dont want to keep going on about it to DS. What I do know is 'something' definately happened and I also know my DS. He is a real stickler for the rules and generally quite timid. No way would he have gone out the school grounds by himself... and although I'm not massively over-protective of DS (i.e he walks to his friends by himself, plays out where I can't see him etc) I still dont like the idea of him being bullied and outside school grounds when he shouldn't have been if you see what I mean?? Actually as I type its not that that bothers me so much its the fact that he had been crying to the form teacher who had let him go outside and have extra play time with 2 friends as he had missed some of his break... if this did happen (and at the moment I have no reason to think it didn't) then why did she not say "look, this is what your DS has said..." even if she didn't believe him.

I'll phone tomorrow on the off chance someone is there (doubt it though), if not will follow up in the new year.... And yes LLjkk, my 7 yr old is pretty slight, doesn't weigh any more than my 4 yr old DS... I reckon a bigger boy could have manhandled him over a gate, especially as I doubt DS would have put up much of a fight as he would have been scared.