Can't enjoy DS's cos I'm obsessing over how fast time is passing... :(

[Tamashii]

I had to control myself at the nursery nativity cos when DS1 walked on stage (he's 3) I noticed how big he is getting but also how he is still just a little boy when you see him with all the others the same age and older. It just made me feel so sad. I had DS2 a couple of months ago and in one way it seems like yesterday he was a tiny newborn and now he is cooing and holding his wobbly head up. He's into his 3-6 month clothes too now... It just feels like time is slipping away.

I keep having nightmares about me being old and dying... It's out of control. I obsess over how tall DS1 is suddenly and that I won't be having any more children so I should be relaxing and enjoying this time with them when all I do is get upset over how one day I will die and leave them on their own.

How morbid is this? It's coming up to Christmas Day and we are all excited this year since DS1 is old enough to get excited about presents and stuff but I am still watching him sleep and crying because I don't want them to grow up sooooo fast...

Anyone even get what I am going on about or does this sound like I am depressed again? This is obviously not something I can mention to anyone in real life but it's getting out of control...

Thanks for your help.

Odd moments (or even whole minutes!) of sadness about how time is passing are pretty standard, but if it's overwhelming you then I do think you need to talk it through with someone, because it's getting in the way of you living your life. I don't know if it would count as depression or anxiety or quite what, but if you've spent time with a counsellor before and got on ok with them, then maybe its time to go back and talk about this?

We all have times when we realise that they aren't going to be like this for long, but that should be balanced up by happiness about them getting older and more able to do things for themselves.

Time isn't slipping away, it's happening! It's life and you can't pickle it to store in a jar, you just have to go with the flow.

I had similar last year I found it very hard to cope with and went to see my doctor. It's all I could think about I could barely function. For me the answer was ad's I've been on them nearly a year now. It may be worth a a chat with your doctor or health visitor for some advice.

Your thoughts are normal and I think most people have them - fleetingly, but the amount of time and energy they're taking up is not normal.

I think you should probably speak to someone.

I've had feelings like you describe in the past, but have accepted them as "sad moments of reflection" and let them go. If you have been dwelling on these thoughts more than you think is healthy then it would be right for you to talk this through with someone.

Like the above poster has said, if your feelings are getting in the way of enjoying life with your children, you should seek some help. Life moves onwards and our children enrich our lives as this happens, children are wonderful and loving and joyful even at 4, 5, 6, 16, 26....

Thanks for the replies. I was worried that I would get told to get a grip to be honest but I just tought surely I am not the only one who feels like this. OH is always saying what you are saying here - that they are growing and becoming more independent and their own people so it should be a positive thing. I have been feeling a bit down again lately. Posting this on here and getting your answers has just kind of confirmed it. I guess the fact I am unable to talk it through in RL is because I am ashamed that I am obsessing again and it is time to get some help.

brightermornings did it take long for the ads to make a difference? I've had counselling previously but it made me realise I know what the problem is, it's just that I can't seem to lift myself out of it so maybe I do actually need something to alter my brain chemistry rather than talking it all out again... or maybe both this time...

Thanks so much. I love what you said there SingingSands "Life moves onwards and our children enrich our lives as this happens..." I am going to remember that.

No, I have thoughts like this, but then I've been on ADs a few times and at the moment I can push them aside. I really hope you can get some help with it - ADs generally take a couple of weeks to start making a difference but it just helps you see the wood for the trees, IYSWIM.

It took a couple of months. I did some cbt but it didn't really work at that time. I think I just got really stressed I'm a single mum 2 dc's and this is what caused it.
I suffered quite bad from anxiety aswell the tablets helped with this straight away. Feel free to pm if you want to ask me anything.