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This is sooooo hard!

3 replies

LyraBelaqua · 21/12/2011 21:02

Have ahd a very hard day today, just need a rant.

I have 2 dc's,dd 2yo and a 6 wk old ds. My dd seems to have just realised her brother is here to stay and is being quite difficult. General screaming and shouting and being defiant which I think is normal (?) although I am doing an awful lot of shouting at the mo so am thinking it is my behaviour that is making this worse. She is also in tears ALOT and hitting/throwing things at bro. I took her to my cousins house today while I had to go to a burial which she normally loves but she was stroppy, demanding and argumentative with cousin and her DS.

As for my DS, since he has been born I have fallen asleep with him on my chest when he was 1 day old resulting in a ?fractured skull. Luckily it was fine but thats made me anxious about him. He also has reflux and finds his bottles hard at times and at the mo hes not drinking as much as normal, which worries me coz then he's not getting enough of his gaviscon. My nan has also passed away suddenly (we were close) and then my father in law passed away suddenly too, and I adored him and am so sad that he's gone and my kids are not going to remember him. Finally buried his ashes today.

I just feel so stressed and am thinking my dd's behaviour is all my fault and my nosey old neighbour is going to report me to social services for shouting and my babies will be taken away. Irrational I know but can't help worrying!

Any tips with DD? shes my biggest worry and I love her so much, the little bugger :)

OP posts:
Winkly · 21/12/2011 21:14

I am sorry that you have been having such a horrible time. I will try to help a little....

My nephew was the same when he realised his new brother was 'for keeps'. Be consistent with discipline, tell her you love her and cuddle her as often as possible when she's behaving, and try if possible to involve her with her brother.

When you are so stressed it is normal to shout, etc. Nosey old neighbour can sod off! But do, if you possibly can, try to take some time for yourself - maybe have a nice bath instead of cleaning when kids asleep, sit in the dark and listen to a favourite song if you have 3 spare minutes?

Speak to doc/HV if you have concerns about DS's growth etc, they can reassure/ help if there is a problem.

It WILL get better. Congratulations on your new son and best wishes.

LyraBelaqua · 21/12/2011 21:21

Thank you :)

OP posts:
MumToSophie · 21/12/2011 21:34

Sorry to hear about your nan and father in law :(

I don't know if I have any good advice for you but I have a 2 year old and a 3 month old so might be able to help. I get my dd to "help" with her baby sister, she gets me her nappies and wipes, picks out her sleepsuits and things like that just anything to get her more involved. (I'm sure you already do things like this but it's just that you said you were anxious after his accident and I know that at first my toddler seemed huge beside my newborn so it can be a worry that they'll accidentally hurt the baby) I also try to have some time when it's just me and her as I was really worried about her feeling left out.

So far she's tried to hit her little sister once but when I told her off for it I explained that she was hurting her sister and making her sad and so far she hasn't done it again.

Just wanted to say that it's not your fault and I'm sure it's normal for little ones to be jealous of a new baby anyway!

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