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Original poster

i was violent with my ds

15 replies

boglach · 21/12/2011 19:10

I am losing it with my kids. tonight i dragged ds up the stairs and put him in his room. in my blind anger i didn't realise he had bumped his head on the bannister on the way up and now he has a bruise Sad

it is just the usual. pre xmas stress, rudeness,cheekiness etc. no excuse but i am exhausted this yr. now i feel like the worst mother in the world for basically abusing my ds

OP posts:
elesbells · 21/12/2011 19:12

how old is your ds?

take a deep breath and have a Wine

thisisyesterday · 21/12/2011 19:13

how old is DS?
how many other kids do you have?
do you have any help at all? partner? family?

SanTEEClaus · 21/12/2011 19:17

It was an accident, not abuse. You did not deliberately put his into the bannister.

Is there someone to help you? Family or a friend who can let you have a break?

Original poster
boglach · 21/12/2011 19:17

Thanks elesbells

he is 5 and in primary one. we are all tired and he is sooo wired about xmas this year because of all the school build up. the behaviour has been terrible and i have a dd who is two

OP posts:
ChristinedePizaTinsel · 21/12/2011 19:22

I have not accidentally damaged my DS but by god the last few days have been trying. He is exhausted, wound up about Xmas and being a total pita.

I feel your pain. You weren't violent, you were at the end of your tether and he got hurt accidentally. Not the same thing. At all

elesbells · 21/12/2011 19:22

I have a fully wired 5year old here too and I've been gritting my teeth for the last few days...don;t they drive you mad?

You haven't abused your son...you've just lost it with him and put him in his room (the fact the banister was in the way is an unfortunate mishap - his bruise will heal.)

have another Wine (im joining you) and give him a big hug...x

Original poster
boglach · 21/12/2011 19:29

Santeeclaus my dh finishes fri midday for hols. hanging on until then

i aplogised for being rough and hugged him. but what if someone asks about the bruise? i would never tell a child to lie for that is gaslighting. he can say what he likes but it makes me sad

OP posts:
SanTEEClaus · 21/12/2011 20:06

Of course you won't ask him to lie. If someone asks all he has to say is 'I hit my head. It was an accident.'

I dropped my son on his head and cracked his skull when he was 3 weeks old. He's 2.6 now and perfectly fine. Accidents happen.

Original poster
boglach · 21/12/2011 20:13

I need a break. i think most do at this time of year!

OP posts:
ChristinedePizaTinsel · 21/12/2011 20:28

He bumped his head on the banister. Only you know if you used excessive force or if you dragged him by one ankle or something. Am assuming you didn't

Original poster
boglach · 21/12/2011 20:48

I dragged him by an arm and yes i would say i was excessively forceful

but no i never intended to bump his head. i was also carrying dd under the other arm. i am ashamed of myself

OP posts:
MaMattoo · 21/12/2011 20:58

None of us are aiming for sainthood!
Relax and give him an extra cuddle tmrw. It's the season, the weather, the lack of school, little entertainment etc etc...you know.... and and the whole Xmas thing coming out at you from everywhere..I am close to 7 times his age and I feel wired!! And I don't even celebrate Christmas!

Go easy on yourself!

ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 21/12/2011 21:06

boglatch - it was an accident. He was pushing you to your limit, you were putting him in his room and he got a bump on the bannister - you didn't beat him with the broom. It. Was. An. Accident. You have not been violent with your DS - you were putting him in his room, which - by the sound of it - was a good move.

Don't worry about what he says to anyone - it's hardly child abuse.

It is a very trying time of the year - kids are hyper, parents are knackered. Have you been making sure they get out for a bit of a run around every day? I find they are like dogs - much better behaved for a bit of plain food and exercise Grin

Also, try to remember it's 'The 12 Days of Christmas' - it's not all about the one day - try to do something fun each day for Christmas and don't stress that the 25th has to be perfect!

Have a Brew or a Wine

Original poster
boglach · 21/12/2011 21:29

Thanks chipping. it is supposed to be milder weather here up until and over xmas so i will take your advice and get him out a bit more. he definately needs exercise!

i get a bit wired about xmas as i want it to be special for them. i had crap christmases as a child. i maybe put too much pressure on myself.

no definately no sainthood here! i mess up but i do love them dearly

i had no idea 5 year olds could be so cheeky and defiant Shock

OP posts:
ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 21/12/2011 23:31

5 year olds can be the work of the devil himself Grin

I had fab Christmasses as a child - but it's a 'feeling' more than specific memories. No matter how shit Quality Street chocolates get, that smell, passing the tin around - it's Christmas. Old fashioned Christmas lights on the tree - that's Christmas. However, my best memory of Christmas is from when I was about 5 or 6 - and my Mum spending the afternoon making a snowman from cotton wool with me Grin. Not the food, not the toys, not the decorations, not Christmas day itself - none of the usual gubbins - just making that snowman with my Mum (and she was at traditional 70's SAHM so her doing stuff with me wasn't unusual).

Really - make the whole season fun and stop stressing about the details :)

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