If you are not Christian.How do you deal with christmas and your kids?Your thaughts please.

[lailahappy]

Any ideas are welcome.

It's a very old paperback (I had it when I was a kid and it wasn't new then) by Enid Blyton called 'The Christmas Book'. Not sure it's still available now.

Was that to me, laila?

We celebrate other festivals so our kids get presents (from us/relatives etc) on those days not at xmas, we sometimes take them sales shopping if they have excess pocket money/leftover birthday money as the non-stop toy advertising in the xmas run up can give them ideas of things they want.

FC isnt real here, he is someone dressed up....which the kids are quite happy with and have yet to spoil anyone elses xmas by announcing it in assembly or anything! That said we moved to a more multi-cultural area and though the majority of kids celebrate here, they definately dont all.

I was harrassed on MN once, told that dd was 'missing out' and that I should tell her FC is real but doesnt visit us. I have chosen not to do that as it is a loaded statement due to the FC 'doesnt visit naughty children' thing. In RL peopel seem to be a lot more understanding and dont find it so odd.

THe kids quite like xmas lights, and we might buy a chococolate log or tunis cake or something xmassy food wise....but often once they are reduced.

Father Christmas has nothing to do with the religious christmas story.

Littleducks... how does your child know FC doesn't visit naughty children if you don't have an FC tradition at home? Do they pick that up from movies or school or somewhere?

I'd say the way Christmas is done in this country is "culturally Christian", rather than actually being about religion. So, many people who don't bother with church the rest of the year will go along for a carol service or Christingle or crib service, and schools will teach about the Nativity. But it'll largely be done in an "apparently Jesus was born and apparently some people think that was important" way, rather than with any real religious conviction

I don't think non-believers find it particularly difficult, as it fits in quite easily with "some people believe" and "Pagan midwinter festival" and "family and friends and warmth and love and gifts and food", which are pretty easy to go along with.

But it's a lot trickier if you actually believe in something else, as it's harder to ignore the religious elements if you think religion is important, but follow a different one. Or even some versions of Christianity who thoroughly disapprove of what "Christmas" has become.

I think she heard it at preschool but it was a few years ago so I can't totally remember. I did actually tell her that FC wasnt real about that time, as she had written a xmas list and posted it.....the first I knew about it was when we got a reply, she was 3 it had all been arranged by preschool, so I needed to explain that she wasn't actually going to get ice skates delivered to her.

DS's nursery where he is now does some xmas things, but also has eid and diwali parties, but doesnt do the list thing so I haven't really felt the need to say anything to him. He isnt confused in the slightest, I think dd was a bit.

How interesting to hear all this different views.Thank you so much.Any more views are welcome.

Another atheist family here doing Christmas as more of a cultural midwinter celebration - decorations, visiting family, food, gifts etc. In fact, it is very like the midwinter celebrations in other places I have lived, like Japan and China. No need to bring Jesus into it, as far as I'm concerned, though the DCs do get roped in to carol/nativity stuff at school, just as they got involved in Japanese seasonal events when they were at school in Japan.

My husband and I are atheists within a larger family of several religions. I would hate to cause offence to anyone of a faith, but find myself completely incapable of faith and we are not going to lie to our child about something so complicated, I don't think we'd have a chance of pulling it off really. We do the "some people believe..." to all the religious questions and when my DD (5) asks questions about who Jesus was I tell her he was a great person who tried to get people to be kind to each other and to look after people who needed help and that the things he said did a lot of good and so we celebrate him at Christmas. We are doing the Santa thing, it seemed such a shame for her to miss out on the magic. The world's such a hard place and I think some fantasy is good when they're little kids. When the time comes I'm planning to explain it to her that he is 'real' as a metaphor for the kindness and generosity of people and that not every old story or legend is saying something which is literally true, but that sometimes they're a wonderful way of explaining a very important feeling by telling a story that makes you feel a special way that it's hard to just describe. I'm really hoping this will be a useful thing for her in developing a respectful but sceptical outlook about mythologies and the teachings of various religions. Wish me luck on that one . What age are yours?

i like your post FarloRigel .my kids are 6 and 3.

I'm as happy to explain and participate in the traditional Christian story of Christmas as any other mythological celebration. We treat the baby Jesus as and the nativity as something that happened and was interesting. Usually the question of god does not arise, but if it does, we say "many people believe" (including relatives) and when asked if we believe, we say "probably not". Like Divali and other religious festivals, Christian ceremonies are lovely and it is perfectly reasonable to participate and enjoy them on a non-spiritual level.