How do you cope with step daughter talking about you on Twitter?

[help4stepmum]

OK, maybe I shouldn't have looked, but my instincts were right; since coming back from first term at uni y'day my 20yr old step daughter has been posting quite nasty comments about us 'parentals' on twitter (whilst we are in the room, chatting & catching up...and sorting out a nice family dinner to add insult to injury). I can feel my blood pressure rising, I hate it!! It's so disrespectful and so upsetting. Sometimes I wonder how I can continue to show kindness to her (it's been a long and incredibly hard r'ship already), and that is heartbreaking too. Less than 24hrs in she is already driving me mad, I need advice or support pls! (as an aside she has also split nail varnish remover on our wooden table, even managed to get it under the glass top, amazing).

Goodness me! At twenty years old she needs to grow up, and quickly! Can your DH not say anything?

P.S. Have you tried the step parenting section? I'll bet theirs a few well experienced people there who may be able to offer some more helpful advice?

Well, I would unfollow her to start with I think. Or whatever you do with twitter.

You say 'your instincts were right' - is she always basically horrible to you? Has something changed?

thanks both i really appreciate your help here! I'll check out the step parent section too, thx for the tip. this is my first call for help after 10years of pretty hard times. She has always been manipulative and rather 2 faced so I guess it is a continuing theme. I really don't want to know what she gets up to away from our home, but do check every now and then on twitter when we're 'appearing' to have a nice meal/chat but there is a feeling i have that there is a nasty commentary going on behind my back, or in many ways in front of my face! Female intuition! I confronted her with it last night, with my partners support, & after tears, tantrums, threatening to leave she apologised sincerely. Since then she has blocked the a/c so we can't view it. Whether that is a sign of covering up for the future nasty comments, who knows.

a thought OP - something perhaps worth discussing with her. If the account is in her name, any future employer can look her up - there are no privacy settings on twitter - not sure how she managed to block you - but unless a specific searcher is blocked, then twitter feeds can be found with a quick google.

She needs to understand that twitter is public - it's for the purpose of public expression. If she wants to have a moan about you she is perfectly entitled to - in private, with her friends. It might be worth stressing this point, as I think kids now are growing up with no understanding of private conversations!

Perhaps if you simply said, look - yes you can have a bitch/ moan about us, but do you want any person who might want to employ you in the future to see you slagging off your family on the internet - she might think differently. And she needs to understand - it's not 'watching' if you see things on her twitter - it's public, that's the point of it.

Hi OP- come and join the step-parenting board, as VFVF recommended. My steps are younger but there are quite a few posters on threre with older step children.

Excellent post and advice by waterrat.

Thanks 'waterrat' and 'everyoneknows' for your advice and support, so much appreciated. I'm joining the step-parening board now. It looks really useful. x