Struggling to have quality time with Ds 4

[nativityneepsntinseltatties]

Ds is 4 and I have a dd 10 months. I try to make sure we have time together that is just us but it never goes well. Today I picked him up early from nursery to take him to see Santa and then to a cafe for a cake. He was excited but when we got there moaned about everything, kicked off about the present he got in the groto, didn't want to even look at santa. It was just all difficult and unpleasant.

Is this normal? I want to have nice quality time with him but never manage.

Sorry to hear this i think it's brilliant that you are working so hard to give him this time.

Not much advice really but maybe just follow his lead for now - sounds like he's tired and overexcited and struggling to cope with having to behave in semi-formal situations - I have to say the kids at the school I work at are getting less time outside due to the weather/Christmas tasks 'having' to be finished, and you can really see it in their behaviour, they are all too hot most of the time as well as the teachers keep the heaters blasting until I sneak in and turn them off.

If you can grit your teeth and take him for one of those oh-so-enjoyable young child walks/woods trips where you spend forever getting them dressed and then slowly freeze as he pokes a stick in and out of a pile of leaves, he might be calmer. A thermos of hot soup/squash might make the whole thing less appalling to the adults involved.

I feel bad for him as he doesn't seem to enjoy things. He used to love going to the woods, now he would just want carried around. He is very shy which I worry about. I find it hard not to get frustrated with him when I am doing everything his way and I still get nothing but moaning. Makes me feel like I can't make him happy.

No real advice, but I am in the same boat!

He sounds like my DS (almost 4)-I do everything I can to have nice trips out-bike rides, seeing a little Christmas play, going to the beach to play diggers...and 95% of the time it seems to end in tears! He is also shy and emotional like your DS

I also tried leaving DS2 (1) with his dad and doing things JUST with DS1, but it didn't make even the tiniest difference.

Is he jealous of his sister? DS1 always wants to be carried/go in the pushchair if I am out with the two of them, it drives me crazy!

I think mine is very tired and overexcited at the moment-the holiday season, school breaking up-his moods change in a flash, and even something he has been looking forward to doing (tonight was dinner in a restaurant with family friends and their kids) ends with whinging, squabbles and resentment on his part.

It is sad, but I am fairly sure he will outgrow it-at least I bloody hope so!
For the moment I am being deliberately unambitious in our trips out-football in the garden, very short walks with a purpose-putting letters in the box, popping in to see a friend etc.

I am sure you make your DS feel happy! :)

Thanks, maybe it's just a stage. We did have a brief nice time last night when I stayed with him for a chat after his bed time story.

He was jealous of his sister but that seems to have past.