Why am I so scared to tell the truth and just quit

[Itsallgonetitsup]

Started a course in September at my local college which I have not enjoyed from the outset. The workload is relentless but actually thats not the main issue.

My tutor absolutely despises me! My self confidence has been eroded bit by bit for weeks now and today I feel so so low.

I need to phone college tomorrow before term ends and tell them. My tutor would be the person I should call but I cannot bring myself to call her as yesterday she was so rude to me I could not stop shaking for a while afterwards! A total over reaction but confirmation that staying on the course will cause me more damage mentally than if I leave.

I want to phone the Head of Department to quit and explain my reasons why - a massive part being my tutors attitude towards me. I feel scared though and because I am so low lacking the confidence to do it. I could just say I am leaving but am so insensed at how I have been spoken to and treated on several occassions (which is becoming more frequent recently) I know I will regret not stating how hard I have found the course due to my tutors negative attitude towards me.

I have been off sick for the past 2 weeks as the stress has kicked off my anxirty attacks and IBS really bad. College think I am skiving an dlieing according to my tutor (I can easily get sick note after Xmas as I am under the Dr).

Help! Give me a kick up the arse to do this by tomorrow or I will stress over it all Christmas until 3rd January.

I'm so sorry you've been treated so appallingly and now feel you have no choice but to quit the course. Is it only you the tutor has been unjust to or is it his/her way with everyone?

I think you do need to do something tomorrow to reduce your stress levels but does it have to be a telephone call?

Is emailing the Head of Department possible instead of telephoning? Or dropping a letter in to the college?

If you do have to phone, (preferably the Head of Department), make a list first of things you want to say and you should probably follow up with a letter or email just to ensure all the points you want to raise are seen.

Good luck with it.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I did not make the call, I kept bottling out. I intend to make it on 3rd of January now. College is closed until then and that is the day I am due back.

Problem is I keep running through various scenarios in my head all the time now and getting worked up! FFS!

I will make notes before I call though like you suggested and have them with me, so I can get my point across.

I would like to email but unless I call the department on 3rd of January for the Head of Depts email addy I have no way of finding it. There is every chance when I phone that one of my tutors if not THE tutor herself will answer the phone. Dont really want a load of people trying to find her personal email addy asking around the staff room etc whilst I am on the phone and my tutor being there.

Its a bloody nightmare and I am making a bloody meal of it! I never used to be like this.