help needed!what to do???

[Iwantababynow]

STRESS!!!

Im 22, so do not have much parenting experiance I have no children of my own. However for a little over a month my husband and I have been fostering a 15 year old. Everything has been going great... however today the school has called to say he has not showed up he is now 2 hours late... what should I do? He won't answer his phone.

my question is, how would you repremand or punish your 15 year old for skipping school? I dont want to be too hard or too soft, and of course i will first listen to why he skipped maybe there is a good explination.

help :)

thanks in advance

I'd focus on the fact that I was worried about him, rather than making it about punishment - they need to know that someone notices and cares that they've gone missing, as that makes more of a difference to their view of life than any amount of anger or punishment.

And I'd allow the school to do whatever their normal punishment is for being that late (or skipping altogether) but probably not add anything else on, assuming this is the first time it has happened (while you've been looking after him at least).

And, focus on trying to understand why it has happened, and on getting him to understand why it bothers you. Then hopefully you can discuss if there are any issues, and help him find solutions.

Oh and well done taking on a 15yo - they are a challenge even when you've had them from the start!

Any ideas as to where he might be or who he is with? Are any other peers also absent?

Hes at school now :) just heard from him, apparently his bus was late, i not sure about that but at least he is there now. :)

thanks for your replies. and yeh its hard work, but hopefully we will help him further in life.

I think ill be calling on mumsnet a lot more in the next few years (hes staying here till he is 18 and Ive got a lot to learn.

thanks :)

Good luck!

You have to pick your battles and also set some firm rules. The main one being that he needs to let you know if his bus is late or he misses it, or he is going to be late home. Tell him he needs to let you know if plans change so you won't be worried. Don't make an issue of what happened today and whether or not you believe him. Let him know that the thing he will most be in bother over is not keeping in touch in those kinds of situations.