First 'drop and run' invite

[NorksAkimbo]

One of the dads that I chat with quite often at the school gates has asked me today if my DS (5), can come one day after school for tea and to play with his DS (they are in the same yr 1 class). I quite like the dad, and I've met and chatted with the mum as well, their little boy seems nice, and our boys get on really well at school. This is the first invite of this sort, and I am a little nervous...in the past, I've always hung out with the parents while our children played, and I'm not actually sure I'm ready to let my boy go on his own. I admit, it's a bit of a PFB thing (though I have a DD, 4, and I'm equally as precious about her!). I did sort of half agree, and quickly suggested that maybe he (and/or his wife) and his DS could come together during the holidays for some play time and a cuppa!
Am I making too big of a deal about this? I mean, we're talking two hours tops, the kids are friends, and the dad is a good guy...
What are your experiences with this?

Give it a try.
Leave your phone number with them and have theirs too.
Plan something nice for your DD (nip her off to visit santa ?) and to keep your mind off worrying.

I agree with Rosemary.. definitely take your DS over to theirs and plan something nice to do with your DD whilst he is there.

I'm sure he will have lots of fun, especially if it's something 'new' to him. And your invite of the whole family to yours in the holidays doesn't sound overbearing, they probably thought it was a nice request!

Thanks for your replies...I am glad I have a couple of days to think about it; I WANT to be easygoing about it, and just let him go, but I've only known the dad since September, haven't had any contact with them outside the school gates, etc., so just feel a bit unsure.

Gah! Always thought I'd be an easygoing, UN-precious mum, and here I am in with my knickers in a twist over something so marginal!

Norks there are parents out there who would give their right arm for their child to get an invite like that. Mine are older but I know exactly how you feel, but let him go, he will absolutely love it.

Our first one I stayed for a cuppa to make sure they were settled and to have a good old nosey at the house etc and then 'nipped to the shops' - now she asks me not to stay!!

That's the thing, Sparkling this year is kind of the first that he's having some real friendships, and I don't want to hold him back. The other little boy is new at the school this year, and he's told his dad that my DS has been really kind to him (which I was really pleased about), so I want to encourage the friendship...they are good mates, and my DS, who wasn't very social when he started school, is really blossoming now, and I am so relieved that he is doing okay and seems liked by his peers.

I actually think that I would like to have them round first, just to get to know them a little bit better. I think that's the part that's niggling me a bit...I just don't know them very well yet. God...I'm reading this to myself, and I can see how precious I sound...I know I'm being ridiculous!

No you aren't being precious. i did jump in at the deep end and just let Ds1 go for an hour after school at first. He was excited that he was going home with his friend and I had to write it in his book to tell the teacher.

So sweet, Sparkling !! I love when they get so excited about their friends...it's why I don't want to hold him back...I know DS would love it, and it would be helpful for him to eat someone else out of house and home for once!

I have 5 DCs and never once have I ever hung out under the feet of another mother while any of my DCs were playing with anyone else's and nor has anyone ever been invited to my house while their child was playing.

I prefer to be able to keep an eye on children playing in my house and I feel I can do this far better when I'm not trying to chat with someone I may not know all that well. Or I might like to be able to put dinner on or finish some chores all afternoon while the children were playing. All the mothers I know also have several younger children and they would have had to bring them all along -- if I had gone and camped out at a playdate house I might have had to take two younger siblings along too. It would have been like a zoo in either case.

All the DCs have returned safe and sound from afternoons playing. I have to caution you against planning for a DC to stay for an evening meal after playing for a few hours for the first time. Better to have just a few hours of playing and then home, decompression, meal, (homework) bath, bed or whatever your normal routine is.

I would also caution against becoming best buddies with the parents of your DCs' friends. If the DCs' friendship goes tits up (it sometimes happens) things can become very awkward. Select your own friends on some basis other than your DCs getting along.

For the moment, all you need to get to know is the child, and you need to be reasonably sure that the house he is going to is safe, and that he will be supervised within reason. Knowing the dad since September is plenty of time for any red flags to pop up -- if they haven't then let your DS off to have some fun.

This great advice, mathanxiety, thank you. I think my initial reaction was pretty unreasonable, and DH and I were both very against the idea. With a few days, we realise we're being silly, and we want our DS to be able to function without us in social situations. I also had a chat to DS about it, and he was really keen about the idea, and not bothered at all that I wouldn't be staying!
So, now we'll just set a date and proceed from there. Thanks for talking me through it...I most definitely would have said no if I hadn't posted here and had some time to think about it a little.