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Parenting

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Original poster

SAHMs, no judgements here... but how much TV does your toddler watch?

51 replies

mfea · 08/12/2011 11:12

Talking with a fellow SAHM at the playground and topic got on to TV.

I said that my DS (16 months) watched about 45 mins a day in total. Sometimes up to an hour. In the morning whilst I shower and housework. And then again after we come in from being out in the afternoon and I am preparing dinner, he just winds down.

She was horrified!

I can't understand why. We have incredibly active days... playground at least once a day, walks, rough play, books, indoor soft play, puzzles. What is the problem with chilling in front of the TV for a little bit?

I am curious about what others think??

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TheChristmasCountessOlenska · 08/12/2011 20:36

I grew up in a home where TV was unlimited and it doesn't seem to have done me or my sis any harm (well we're not oxbridge graduates but we are fully functioning adults!)

I got into the habit of having daytime TV as background noise when I was at home and lonely breastfeeding DD. Now she's a toddler I have Cbeebies on all day - she stops and watches when something interests her, and when a song comes on she dances- but this doesn't stop her from playing and looking at her books etc. I must admit I like to have it on for company

We get out and about at least twice a day so I don't feel it's a big problem.

nethunsreject · 08/12/2011 20:38

ds1, very little

ds2, lots!

FoofFighters · 08/12/2011 21:08

I don't know how I would have managed through the newborn-with-toddler phase if it wasn't for cbeebies. It was the only thing that would distract DS1 when I was trying to feed/change/nap DS2!

We have about an hour in the morning and an hour after dinner but tbh cbeebies or Disney gets left on as background noise and DS will run off and do other things and maybe come back to it. I'm relaxed about having it on and he is not zombie-like when watching it. As has been said, if your days are varied and full IMO it doesn't do any harm.

I always go for Ceebies or Disney, though. Cannot bear the channels with millions of adverts for toys!

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Meglet · 08/12/2011 21:13

We have cbeebies on from 8-7 at weekends, but the kids dip in and out of it. It's more background noise than anything.

DS's has just started reception and his teacher said he has an amazing imagination and very creative. Not bad for a kids who has mainlined cbeebies for 3 years (since his baby sister arrived).

plantsitter · 08/12/2011 21:15

Honestly - loads. The only time I'm really strict about the TV going off is at meal times.

But we do loads of other stuff too.

FoxyRevenger · 08/12/2011 21:20

Well, my DD is with a CM 3 days a week, where there is no tv at all.

And we're out most of the weekend.

So, on the two days we're at home, the TV just stays on. It's mostly background noise, we're often in other rooms, doing other things, at the shops, the park, nap time, meal times...

She loves Show Me Show Me and Mr Tumble and I would say the rest of it fades into the background whilst she plays with her toys. Sometimes it's on for me as she is really happy playing by herself.

bt1978 · 08/12/2011 21:27

Agree with other posters who put on a lot more cbeebies to entertain the elder child when a new one arrived - it saved my sanity when I was exhausted and looking after a 19mo DD when DS arrived and DH had no paternity leave!

DD watches lots some days, none on other days - it depends on weather and what we're doing. In the mornings we tend to have cbeebies on all the time, but DD (now 21mo) will watch some things and ignore others - and she talks to me about what she sees and I point things out.

Cbeebies had taught my daughter her colours, a bit of sign language, and various cooking-related vocabulary - she loves to 'mix mix mix' with me in the kitchen after seeing it on I Can Cook.

I agree with whoever said cbeebies is best - no adverts to make them want crap toys, and lovely gently educational stuff!

Bearcrumble · 08/12/2011 21:41

DS is 22 months and watches between 30 mins and an hour a day. Usually when I'm cooking lunch and dinner. Mainly he watches CBeebies and a bit of Nick Jr. He likes Come Outside, Abney and Teal (we Sky + that and watch it every day) and has just started to get into Waybuloo which I can't stand. He quite likes Peppa Pig and Ben and Holly's little kingdom. he doesn't watch them all every day obviously.

When I was in the first trimester with current pregnancy and very tired/nauseous he watched a lot more. In the morning I'd just drag myself and my sick bucket onto the sofa and stick the TV on because I could barely move. But that was a necessary and temporary measure and not something I'd like to have done long term.

We go out to playgroups/park/museum most mornings and some afternoons, he gets involved with the housework (particularly likes handing me clean washing to hang up and hoovering), we've just started doing stuff like making biscuits together and I read with him for about 45 mins before bed so I think we have a good balance. I don't think the amount of telly he watches is doing him any harm.

AngelsfromtherealmsofgloryDog · 08/12/2011 22:52

DS is 23 m.o. and we don't have a television (haven't for the last 10 years or so). I'm lucky that he is happy to entertain himself and has a very long concentration span if he's doing something he's interested in, so I've not felt the urge to get one yet.

He is obsessed with cooking, laundry, tidying and now unloading the dishwasher, which is a big help - even if he's underfoot a bit, it allows me to get things done. :)

Original poster

mfea · 09/12/2011 06:32

Thanks for all your responses!

I think that our childhood experience and how we perceived that experience is a huge driving factor in our parenting styles. I had the most wonderful, loving and happy childhood. My mum was a clean-freak though and I recall hours watching TV as she did the housework! Because I do not see it having any detrimental effect whatsoever on my siblings and I, either academically or emotionally, I think it makes me much more relaxed about my boy watching a little bit of TV each day.

Added to which, sometimes I need to do things i.e. cook dinner. How is it better that he is wailing for me to pick him up rather than he is curled up on the sofa watching Cbeebies and winding down after an active afternoon playing?

Finally, I really am quite impressed with Cbeebies. Mr Tumble for example is actually very sweet, and so un-American i.e. the children actually look like children rather than caked in make up wearing gucci!

OP posts:

jellybeans · 09/12/2011 11:04

TV is on almost all day. Youngest DS (3) watches quite alot but we are out alot and he likes doing other stuff too and going on my computer! I am not that fussed TBH. Hasn't done my older kids any harm, they are doing great at secondary; top sets etc.

MissMollyCoddle · 09/12/2011 11:33

I agree mfea, I think that we have some excellent childrens' tv on cbeebies.

The best thing I did was to pre record the shows they like and put them on when it suits me. I can say 'you can have one Mr Tumble' and put it on and then when it finishes thats it, its finished. If I put the actual tv channel on it tends to stay on for longer because there is always something else coming on IYSWIM.

cookingfat · 09/12/2011 14:02

At 10mo, dd tends to have an episode of baby jake or waybuloo a day. Usually in the morning, and I watch it with her and we chat (well, I do) about it. Sometimes I leave her in peace and sort some housework out. We do a mix of activities, telly is usually when I run out of steam.

cookingfat · 09/12/2011 14:36

Oh yeah, and we watch come dine with me too.

YankNCock · 09/12/2011 20:35

agree MissMollyCoddle, we record shows from Channel 5 so we can run through all the adverts too. I don't need DS asking for a £75 quid non-historically accurate dinosaur with a weapons system

Firawla · 09/12/2011 23:37

I don't limit it with mine (3yr and 2 yr) but I find they would limit it for themselves anyway ie get bored of it and go and play something else. I don't like them to bring too much toys in the living room, so if they want to play with their toys they need to go in the other room which doesnt have tv in it. Overall it would be more than 1 hour per day though i'm sure, as they watch in mornings when they wake up, and abney and teal and waybuloo at bedtime, and there will normally be something in between unless we are out for the whole day. I don't really buy into the whole tv is evil and damaging thing, as they do other things too and things like waybuloo they will join in with the yogo. I dont tend to let them watch any other channels than cbeebies though, cos i know everything on cbeebies is okay so dont have to worry about the content (thomas the tank they are allowed aswel)

lisad123 · 09/12/2011 23:50

Tv is banned in the mornings here because it was delaying them getting ready in the morning.
They don't watch it Monday's as they have gymnastics, we banned it on Tuesday as we have family night, and weds they ride so don't tend to watch. Other than that they tend to get home from school and watch it till tea is ready about 5.30pm, some nights we go to park afterschool.
As far as I'm concerned as long as they are getting plenty of exercise, other simulation from play or books, tv is fine.

DingDongDialsMavislyOnHigh · 10/12/2011 02:01

I may be totally wrong but I thought that just having music on on the background is meant to have the same negative affect on brain development as sticking cbeebies on for an hour. It's to do with their brains learning to tune out constant external stimuli.

Many people who don't use the babysitter in the corner from time to time have the radio on all day anyway....,

mathanxiety · 10/12/2011 05:13

I must admit mine watched many hours of it (afternoons only as we tried to get out for play in the morning and when they refused to nap any more I went for quiet time instead with reading or sitting and watching tv the preferred activities) and I often watched along with them (debilitating 'morning' sickness). I liked to see them able to focus on a programme for half an hour or whatever the time slot was and was actually quite when a child who visited couldn't sit through that much. They came away with lots of songs and ideas for activities.

As babies (up to about age 2), they didn't watch tv as I kept them in the kitchen with me or hoiked them from room to room as I went about my chores, but once I had a larger family it was harder to keep the baby of the day immune from what the older ones were doing. However, the older ones were in school for the morning and a good chunk of the afternoon. They tended to watch it after school when the baby might be napping.

RealLifeIsForWimps · 10/12/2011 05:27

Very little (maybe 30 mins in a week), but that's more because he's not interested in it (15mo) than because I'm anti- it. I'm sure that'll change though.

Barreal · 10/12/2011 07:19

Compared to what parents are up against with the horrendous gaming culture, that even some parents embrace, TV seems positively harmless these days, indeed, almost 'real' and interactive, compared to the sick world of gaming.
Apologies for having strong feelings on gaming but I'm a teacher, albeit in Japan, and it is very obvious in my classes which students are growing up on computer games, and which students aren't, and I seriously worry for the gaming children and their future as adults because I think gaming is stunts a child's ability to communicate fully, to imagine fully, but I won't go on.
I feel so strongly about this, I would leave my partner if he starting playing computer games. Fortunately, he sees them for what they are, too.
Destructive of the mind.
Yep, TV, I used to think badly of it, when it came to kids, given that I observed my three cousins grow up without it, which led to them being way ahead of other kids when it came to the ability to describe what they saw or be able to amuse themselves.
I still don't like TV but it's dreamy compared to computer games, so watch on.

Barreal · 10/12/2011 07:21

..Oops, I did go on..sorry about that.

RitaMorgan · 10/12/2011 07:31

I'm not sure - quite a lot I suppose, probably an hour or so a day (maybe more?). I don't limit it anyway, and I don't talk about it either Can't think of anything worse than someone trying to talk to me while I watch TV! Sometimes I put things on for DS, sometimes I watch my own programmes.

WhereIsTheGreenSheep · 10/12/2011 08:04

So glad I found this thread! I've been feeling quite guilty about TV watching at the moment - we have DD 3mo so DS 2.5 has been watching a fair bit of TV to help us get by.

At the moment it's on for a stint in the morning so DH can get himself and DS ready and then if DS is home with me, sometimes I need to put it on during the day while I'm settling DD. It seems to be the only thing that will keep him away from her bedroom long enough so I can get her to sleep - that or apps on my iphone! Then depending on his mood that day it'll go on again in the evening if he needs winding down or so I can get DD bathed and fed before I start his bedtime routine.

I'd say all up on a good day it's probably 45-1 hour, on a bad day 2-2.5 hours, which I don't feel great about at all, but needs must. Saying that I do monitor what he watches and like others, DS enjoys a variety of activities through the week. We also have TV rules like not having it on when we're eating and I never put it on if DS whinges for it as I don't want him to think he can just watch it whenever he likes.

Just glad to hear most other people use it in the same way too!

NorksAkimbo · 10/12/2011 09:36

Mine watch what I think is loads (they are 5 and 4); we don't have it on in the morning, but they tend to watch an hour or so after school; partly because I am trying to get supper ready, but also because they are both pretty good in school, and I think there is some benefit to just letting them do something mindless after a full day of stimulation. I don't really need to limit much on the weekends; they want it on, but we usually have other stuff to do, or can at least give them a better offer than sitting in front of it all day. And sometimes, if we're all tired or poorly or the weather is shite, we stay in our jammies and watch DVDs all day! It's all about balance; if they are plunked in front of it all day every day, with nothing else offered, then it will be a problem. As long as it's a smallish part of their lives, it's not going to ruin them completely.
And Barreal I am with you completely on the gaming. I was a teacher in the US for many years, and I could tell the children who had been up all night in front of their playstations. We have a Wii at home, but that's my limit...all the games we own are only really fun if you're playing WITH someone, so it tends to be an after dinner, whole family thing.

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