need you all to kick me up the bum and tell me that is is possible to be a parent and do a degree!

[cheesesarnie]

im filling in my ucas as we speak.im currently doing an access course and hoping to go to uni next year.
i have 3dc and an unsupportive husband ,im doing the whole 'i wont know till i try' talk but having a wobble.
tell me how your life works!

if i dont reply straight away its because im trying to be good and limit my mn use

My mum took her Bar Finals 8.5 months pg with my sister (her DC4). My dad worked abroad a lot and my gps were 2 hours away. I have no idea how she did it.

wow-sounds like an amazing lady!
how old were you when she did it?mine will be 12,11 and 6.and i'll be 2 hours away(when not on placements),i'm looking into 2 lots of childcare in 2 different villages(where schools are).ive spoken to dc,was worried older 2 might be put out about childcare-well and youngest!all were ok but it might be different if i actually got accepted!

im determined not to put a dampener on it!

We were 12, 9, 3 and bump. We had the odd au pair and mum did take 7 years to do a 3 year course, thing is she did it! When Dad was home, he was in charge of us at w/e and that is when she got the lion's share of the work done. She also used to leave me (the 3 yo) with the people in the college book shop whilst she went to lectures!

I started an OU degree when preganant with DD 1 and it was great to have her come and see me graduate when she was 6yrs old. Sometimes it was hard to keep motivated especially as we moved to USA for 6mths with husbands work plus trying to put the night shift in at hospital when short of money. But it was great fun going to the uni summer schools for a week each year and all the tutorials once a week.
Hope you find it rewarding and fun.

I started my degree when ds1 was 4 and dd was 9 months. A friend used to look after dd and the few times she couldn't I carried her four flights of stairs in the top half of her buggy to sleep outside my seminar.

Actually I can't believe I did that now. The secretary was keeping an eye on her in my defence!

I went on to do an MA and got pregnant with ds2 halfway through which was tough but managable and I graduated though my marks did go down towards the end.

I began a PhD when ds2 was two but found it too hard with him only doing playgroup and I intercallated until this september when he started school part-time. He is going full time after christmas and I am hoping to crack on then!

It is possible though you need to be super organised. It's hard work but I love it as the studying is a break from the everyday stuff.

Good luck!

You can do it. I started my ou degree when ds1 was 3 them had ds2 2 years ago. I've still got a year to go, but it is doable, you just have to be organised. Good luck

thankyou all!
so im guessing all these answers back up my original thoughts of 'i wont know till i try'!which is good,i dont want to be saying in however many years 'i wish id done that and not made lots of excuses as to why i couldnt!'
im naturally unorganised but have had to learn to be more organised even just doing the access course which is local and fits in with school so im guessing i can re-adapt .
do/did any of you have to do placements as part of your degrees?the one im applying for is 50% placements which will be another change again for time/homelife(although im stupidly excited at idea of being able to experience different placements!).

thankyou all again!better get on with coursework else i'll have less of a chance of being accepted!a day of criminology for me today

I'm doing a phd with a toddler in part-time childcare and it's really, really hard. I don't want to say you can't do it because of course lots of people do, but I can't lie, I've found it incredibly difficult. I just don't have enough time.

Why is your husband unsupportive? I would be very worried in that case. The only way I have even managed to stay in my course is because my DH is incredibly helpful. Can you get him on board somehow?

Could you do an OU degree? They are so much more flexible.

I did mine with OU & working full time, fell pregnant with DD so decided to combine 2 years on study into 1 (and sat two 3hr exams back to back at 8.5 months pregnant. The invigilators were shitting themselves!), then did my final year with baby under 1, still working and pregnant with DS. I won't lie to you - it was extremely tough, but doable if you are determined. Good luck!

no thanks both for being honest!
bohemian-he doesnt understand why i want to do something,hes a bit better now ive found out more about finance etc but i think it'll be a case of if something goes wrong-childcare,finding it tough etc-itll be my problem.

how would a ou work for mental health nursing?what about placements etc?and funding?

'i think it'll be a case of if something goes wrong-childcare,finding it tough etc-itll be my problem'

I'm sorry he's feeling that way -- that's so unsupportive!

Can you get support anywhere else -- family, friends?

You'll really need a plan B for everything. What will you do if the DC fall ill and can't go to nursery -- you can't miss too many classes or placements. How will you carve out study time if you can't count on your DH being cooperative and watching the kids? That kind of thing.

That's why I thought an OU course might work better, because you don't have to physically be places at certain times, so even if everything goes tits up at home you can work at 2 am in your pajamas if necessary. But I doubt it would work for nursing.

why on earth wouldn't your DH be supportive if you're training for a new job that will pay well?

Again, I don't mean to dissuade you, you just have to be really realistic about how much time you will have. And give your DH a kick up the backside!

no its good,all things that i need to think of-the reason i started the thread!
my family are supportive and will be a back up for the eldest 2 but as he doesnt drive and youngest will be a couple of miles away i need to think about that.
i'll have a think about plan b's and have a go at kicking dh up the arse.

Am doing a full-time PhD (in reality, spend about 3 full days a week on it, by the time you take out all the parenting stuff). Mine are both at school, and my husband is supportive. And it's a humanities subject so I never need to be anywhere at a fixed time, so a degree would be harder logistically. I find it do-able if not a walk in the park. But absolutely the best thing about it is what Guadaloupe said: the chance to think about something completely different. I was having a crappy, stressed out day the other week and feeling very wobbly about all my life choices and anxious about lots of family/Christmas stuff then went to an hour long seminar (a really good one) and came out as mentally refreshed as if I'd had a weekend away - seriously. Just concentrating properly on something you enjoy is - for me, anyway - so restorative.

I'm in the third year of a BSc (took a year out to have DD who is now 11 months). This semester I was timetabled to be in college 3 days a week, with lectures spread over the days. I used the non-lecture time when I was on campus to work in the library, took copious notes and took books out, and then worked 2-3 evenings a week on assignments. DD is in nursery one of those days, DH has her one day and his parents have her the third. The rest of the time she's with me, so I can only study when she's sleeping.
Just got my first piece of marked work back and scored 68% (a 'top end' 2:1) so pleased with that! Means I have to keep on ploughing away though. I just focus on the fact that there is an end date to all this.

You need to be clear about what you're doing for each assignment, and just be really strict with yourself about working. I set a personal deadline of 2 weeks before hand in date to have two pieces finished in order to have enough time to finish two more pieces handed in this week. Thankfully it all went to plan but it was a bit tight as along the way one of my babysitting day arrangements went tits up.

No idea how I'm going to cope next semester as the timetable changes to something very inconvenient for all parties. Oh well, I'll worry about that when it happens!

thankyou both!well the ucas form has been completed so i'll wait and see.i'm in a positive mood about it this week.no point panicking as i might not get accepted!
dh is becomming more supportive and has said hes proud of what im trying to do which shocked me!but im not sure if the reality of it will make him change his mind again.ive told him that it'll effect us all but that hopefully so will the end result and that just seing me try to follow a dream is good for the dc(even if i'll end up crying most of the way through).
now ive just got to keep at it with the access course and wait to hear from the university!if i dont get in my plan b is to do a science qualification and reapply next year.we shall see!

Mine were 13 and 11. I also worked when I did my MA.

It was the most enjoyable hobby I have ever had. Loved every minute and was sad when I graduated as it was all over (sobs a little).

really!what did you do?i cannot even imagine how you managed to parent,study and work!

MA Politics at York.

I loved the course so doing the work was a pleasure. I used to do my reading once the DC were in bed and sometimes in office time

If you don't like the subject I imagine it is very very different.

which is why ive chosen to do mental health nursing.i want to find out more and i 'know' its what i want to be doing.ive always worked in shop jobs or art projects or with children,but although i love the art stuff(which i still do occassionaly) its not what i want long term.

That's so brilliant.

Sounds really interesting, you'll be great!

I'm pondering what I want to learn next.... thinking something history-related.

It is very, very hard.

I did mine when I was working FT when dd was a toddler. It was bloody hard. What made it easier, ironically, was being single. No I didn't have dd's father to help, but that meant that I also didn't hve to waste dedicate time to a partner. All my free time could be spent with dd.

You can't have it all though. I didn't have a social life (or friends) for years. And I was permanently knackered. And I was a lot younger then (wouldn't contemplate it now). But it was worth it in the end.

im excited at the thought of little old me having a chance to maybe do it!and its making me work extra hard on my access course-which i mostly love anyway(i have my moments!).

Hahaha

When my funding was approved I walked around bewildered for weeks thinking that some poor brainy soul was turned down because they gave me the money by mistake!

I just obtained a first class honours degree, which I did part-time while working full time. Took me 5 years and DD1 was 11 and DD2 was 5 when I started. Hard work and a lot of sacrificed family time, but I was so pleased to have them there at graduation day. Granted, DH was totally supportive but sometimes he worked a lot of weekends so i had to try and keep the girls occupied and study. I graduated in June this year, and my house is still a riot as all thoughts of trying to keep a tidy house had to go right out the window.

i dont do tidy anyway lol
mine are similar ages to yours,how did they feel about it?