DS1 is 21 months, DS2 is 8 weeks. For the first week or so DS1 was fine, seemed to enjoy the novelty of having a new adition to the household and was very helpful at nappy changes etc. However over the last few weeks he has become progressively more clingy with me and my husband, very upset when the baby is picked up, distraught when left at nursery on his 2 days per week (though usually settles after a bit) and having lots of tantrums. His sleep has also gone to pot, having previously been a reliable 7 til 7 sleeper.
During the day DS2 does not like being put down, cries a lot and generally is quite unsettled though will nap quite well provided he is cuddled quietly / fed to sleep for quite a while, which is nearly impossible with DS1 screaming and sobbing. I bought a Moby wrap thinking that this would be the answer to all my problems but a)DS2 doesn't really settle in it unless we have a brisk walk for 10 mins or so and b)DS1 hates the baby being in it and shouts 'out' or 'down' whenever I attempt to put DS2 in it.
I try to get out every day to friends / shops etc but this still leaves a few hours of hideous double crying (triple if you include me) to contend with. We live in the middle of nowhere and currently have biblical blizzards / gales etc so even getting out for fresh air and puddle jumping is impossible. The only saving grace is that my husband works from home so can help at lunchtimes etc (and also comes in when things get really unbearable) but his work is suffering and I feel that I should be able to cope on my own like everybody else must have to.
I have read lots of threads where things like reading to the older sibling whilst baby feeds are suggested - but when DS1 is so upset this is a non starter. I try to persuade DS1 that he wants to watch CBeebies but again this doesn't usually work that well. Other people's older siblings also all seem to adapt very well to the new baby which makes me feel even worse - what have we done wrong?
I suppose I'm not expecting any magic solution apart from time but I just need reassuring that this will get better (when?), that other people have experienced similiar and that I've not ruined DS1's life pemanently as it certainly feels like it at the moment. And what, physically, do you actually do with a crying baby and a screaming toddler, apart from reach for the gin?
Any advice gratefully received!