The facts of life @ 8

[overtheseatoskye]

DS has been pestering to know how babies are made and where they are born from etc. He is v intelligent and inquisitive. I wonder if I should actually stop fobbing him off and tell him straight before he is old enough to think it is smutty. If so - how?

My DS1 is 8 and sometimes I think he knows more than I give him credit for! I think if he's asking, maybe find out how much he knows already and then you can assess whether or not it is a big leap to the "truth" or whether he'd be happy with a dumbed down version IYSWIM.
HTH

I also was a little bit scared that he'd blurt it out in class - he loves to tell the teacher everything he knows - and then school would be unhappy. Bit pathetic I know.

My 8 yo recently asked me how the daddy got the seed to the mummy to make a baby. I muttered something about it being quite complicated, but he was v persistent so I said "well they have to have sex" to which he gave me a knowing look and said "well that's not that complicated".

I don't know if he knows what having sex entails but I opted out of the conversation at that point

I will watch this thread to see if anyone comes up with some less cowardly ways to deal with this!

My 7 yo and 4 yo have recently been entranced by "Where Willy Went". Also, Mummy Laid an Egg is funny and informative. They are very general and suitable for younger children also, but they might be a good starting point for you to have a conversation with your DS.

I was kind of dreading that conversation, but the approach I decided on was, if they're old enough to ask, they are old enough to be told - but then tailor your response to their age. DS (9, yr 5) only asked a few months back, I asked what he already knew and explained the rest. Made him giggle a bit I then said he'd probably be learning about it more at school soon. He was quite happy with the explanation.

I think by 8 they should have a pretty good idea of the basic concepts of reproduction, as told to them by their parents.

I really don't understand why the school would be unhappy (or tbh what on earth it has got to do with them) about an 8yo knowing this information. I am sure the teacher already knows :)
I told my ds1 at 4, if he told others then so be it - although I don't think at that age it is the kind of thing they snigger about in the same way as 8yo's might (said ds1 is now 9 and is very matter of fact about it).

I also don't understand why you would be fobbing him off, if he wanted to know other things relating to the function of the human body - bones, bladder, heart etc - would you be fobbing him off?

Are you embarrassed about telling him about it? If so there are a number of books around which can explain the physical concepts, although I personally believe that it is important to combine the physical with the emotional and also talk about that.

Personally I would go with something like;

Babies are made when an egg from a woman joins with a sperm from a man, for this to happen they have sex - this is when people who love each other want to be very close and cuddle and touch each other, the man's willy goes hard (your 8yo undoubtedly already knows that happens!) and he puts it inside the woman's vagina.
I would also give some information about the female cycle and monthly menstruation (presumably he knows you bleed) and contraception.

I've just told my DS and he's 5. He didn't ask me, I decided to tell him before he found out something silly from the playground.

We read 'Where willy went', he giggled at some points which set me off too . I followed it up with a general 'people only have sex when they love someone very much and have grown up bodies - it is NOT for children'.

And that was it. Much easier than I expected. I tested him on it the next day to make sure he had remembered it.

I thought I was wimping out by leaving it until he was 5!! Leaving it 'til 8 is way too late IMO, and more embarrassing I expect.

Gosh I'm amazed so many people have told their kids . Playground discussion here elicited facts that noone had told theirs right up to year 6.

I'll get right to it then. I'm not embarrassed. Just thought emotionally he might not be ready as just turned 8. We live very rurally and kids are defo not as streetwise as urban friends.

Anyone know a good body book that deals with sex?

I have just had the talk with my 8 year old ds1. He knew that daddy made a seed and mummy made an egg.

He finally asked the question of how the egg and seed got together. I saw Miriam Stoppard on a program once and remember her saying something about 8 being a good age to tell them how it happens.

I was very matter of fact, he asked lots of follow up questions, like does it hurt/does the willy go in the woman's bottom no son it doesn't go in her bottom, just like you her bottom is for pooing. And no it doesn't hurt it is great fun!

We are getting Where Willy Went and Mummy Laid an Egg, just because they seem to treat the whole thing in a fun and simple manner.

When they hit year 6 the dvd they watch for sex education names all the body parts. It is the mothers of girls who seem most horrified by naming the clitoris (I have friends with older children)

my 10 yo DD thinks sex is the most disgusting concept and she can't believe that I have actually done it twice!

hahaha

My DS (8) knows enough to give his younger sister a lesson in it, and a warning to not even think about doing it until she's 25.

inspired by this thread, and the fact that while I told ds1 @ 4 and we have talked about it since I haven't actually imparted the information to ds2 (6 in Jan), I asked ds2 this morning if he knew how babies were made.

he said they grow in your (my) tummy, knew it was an egg from a woman and sperm from a man and ventured that the man's willy went into the woman's bottom to get the sperm to the egg (so I corrected that).

i suspect all that is from hearing me talking to ds1 about it.