Can I ask a delicate question?

[donteatyourteawithnoknickerson]

DD1 is almost 8. For the past 4 months she has been complaining of "tummy ache" around every 5 weeks. In the back of my mind I am thinking it may be something like early development period type pains (I should say at this point I was 10 and my mum was 9 when we started our periods). She has always been an early developer, from sitting up, teething, talking, the lot. Currently she is losing her canine teeth, dentist told me that normally doesn't happen until children are 10-ish.

Is it at all possible that this is starting so early? Even if she doesn't have an actual period, could she start to get pains so early on?

And if it is, how do I ever explain about what it is? I am a nurse, and have no problems with the facts of life, but to explain it in a way that an 8 year old would understand is another thing entirely.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. I really hope I'm wrong....

It is possible, and all you have to do to explain is to tell her that every month, older girls' and ladies' bodies get ready to make a baby. When the baby doesn't happen, all the 'stuff' that was waiting for the baby comes out of your foo. It's red, but it's not blood. It's called menstrual fluid. You get a tummy ache sometimes because it's a bit heavy in your tummy.

Also, is this happening when your period happens? And is she tall and well build?

You're a nurse.

Can't you just tell her that it's something that happens every month, part of growing up. And when she's older, it's what means she'll be able to have babies. I assume she does know how a baby is made.

My dd is 8 and has recently said she has occasion tummy aches. I didn't start until 14 though.

My mum told my sister and I about periods when we were very young - I was no older than about 7 or 8, my sister was 18 months younger. I remember we were both fascinated and I desperately wanted my periods start because I regarded it as a "badge" of growing up.

Just be honest with her, I'm sure it'll be okay.

Thanks for all the good advice - yes i am a nurse (with many years experience) but I'm not a children's nurse. I could explain it biologically, but don't want to freak her out! She sort of knows how babies are made, she's a very factual girl.

She's my eldest, so it is the first time I've gone through this - it's reassuring to see others are tackling this at a similar age. She isn't particularly tall, average for age, but her genes predispose her to be an early developer.

I like the chocolate idea (and sure she will too :o )

I think sometimes it is hard to put biological functions into words. I've just had the sex talk with ds1 aged 8.5. He asked the questions I just answered them. Dh was behind Ds and looked horrified as I was frank and honest.

He couldn't see the look of horror on Ds1's face when I explained how the sperm reaches the egg (he asked) Then you get the questions of well if it is floppy how do you get the willy in?

Lots of my friends have older girls and told their daughters that the body makes a nest for the egg and if it isn't made into a baby the nest won't keep and comes out of your body as blood. You put a special towel into your knickers to catch the blood. Simple and to the point.

Hope that helps.

I've taught girls of 8 who were having periods (year 3 in one case - poor kid!)

So yeah, you need to prepare her.

I started my period just after my 9th birthday but had been having period type pains before that (apparently - I can't remember if Im honest)

My dad explained that it was what grown up girls had each month in order for their bodies to be able to make babies when they were older, and then gave me some sanitary pads to use. Not entirely sure where my mum was for this, but he was so relaxed about it I remember just thinking ahhh right, and taking it in my stride.

Not sure if that helps, but maybe get some pads in so she can have a look at them / get used to them, before her period arrives?

Thanks everyone - this morning on the school run (!) DD asked me why teenagers "are a bit mad" (her words). I grabbed the opportunity and said it was all to do with hormones that make your body change from being a girl to a woman.

She got upset and started to say she wanted to stay a little girl and didn't want to be a woman. I tried to deal with it by saying it's exciting, not scary, and not all teenagers are mad :).

I remember people talking about good books that are available and thought it might be an idea to get one and sit and read it with her but can't remember the names of any - can anyone help?

WWYD?

If she really is going thru puberty then the book "Hair In Funny Places" (Babette Cole) is very good gentle introduction. Not in depth though.

I was under the impression that other signs of puberty are usually obvious before periods, though. Body hair, full breast buds, all arms & legs, obviously curvy hips, etc.

My 8 year old asked today if she was allowed to like/love a boy at school and said "it is called a crush" when talking about other similar things .

This is a really lovely book too.