Confused dad here again, please help.

[SeanOg]

Hi, I was on this site getting advice some time ago which was very reassuring. Well I am back with more questions, just incase I am going a bit doo lally.. It isn't right to put a tired and poorley 28 month old to bed for his nap an hour late and then wake him an hour later and give him chocolate and mini cheddars to stop him crying, is it? This is apparently based on a health visitors advice, any offers?

Nope, that sounds like rubbish advice. Let him sleep! More than that - what do you want the oracle of mumsnet to tell you? Your OP is not quite clear

I suppose it depends on what the matter is. Did the HV think there was some reason he should be woken?

His sleep pattern is chaotic, getting up at 6am, naps at odd times in the day often not until 3pm waking again at 4:30/5 not sleeping until 9 or 10.

nicenivea, just want to know if it sounds normal, it seemed a bit odd to me, he was in a state afterwards.

btw he is often cranky and can be impossible to be around, apparently normal for his age. I don't buy that, I have had many nieces and nephews and friends with children, I didn't see their kids behaving like this. Been trying to get his mum to get him to nap earlier, she isn't interested, said he shouldnt nap at all at his age.

i don't quite get the issue.

is this what is happening now and you want to challenge it? are you and his mum together? is it your child?

what is the exact problem?

Yes, I disagree with what is happening. His mum and I still together...But not iykwim. He is my son.

I can't believe that this is a good strategy, esp when ds is ill etc. I am concerned that she has got the HV advice wrong, or has interpreted it to suit her parenting style. Just wanted to know if it sounded right to others who may have dealt with sleep probs.

Well DD had stopped napping at this age, but some of her friends where still napping at 3years so it depends on the child really.

Having said that I did stop her nap altogerther as she did a sleep some days and not other's for almost a year. When she started not napping untill late and then not going to bed untill 9or10 at night. It took a week or so to seatel down but when it did she started sleeping better at night. I did often have a very tired child in the afternoon though. Some children are cranky and difficult DD was and still is to a certain extent at 4years old. It's personality I think.

Oh I think the HV advice is odd to you would do that to an ill child, they gerealy need more sleep when ill not less.

You are lucky if he is still napping at 28 months! Are you concerned that he is sleeping too much, with all the small naps, and then such a long nap in the middle of the day? It is quite late to nap until around 5pm, might ruin his nights sleep? Is that why the hv wants to wake him? When does he eat his dinner?
My kids stopped seeing their health visitor long before 2 years of age, so not sure this is "normal" advice!

DS is 28 months. This is his day:
up between 6-7
has milk in a cup and then huge brek, 2 weetabix, banana, sometimes toast also. Mornings are either pre-school or activities like swimming / toddler group.
Lunch 12-1ish often not a lot, just a bit of sandwich and yoghurt
Afternoons with the CM he naps for an hour or so, between 1-3pm He usually doesn't with us, stopped a few months ago, but was recently ill and took it up again so we might try to keep it up for a bit.
Dinner is 5ish, varies hugely as to how much he eats. If he's a hot lunch its often just toast. 6 bath, 6.45 milk and bed.
If he doesn't nap he can get quite cranky in the late afternoon through tiredness and boredom - we counter it with a bit of TV, gives us all a break!
hope that helps