Independent Play?

[Fuzzled]

DS is now 14 months and is starting to play with his toys rather than just sucking, chewing or throwing them.

However, he does (as I would expect at this age) require a lot of input from me which, while lovely, doesn't exactly help in getting the dinner made.

At what sort of age (although again I know it will vary!) will he start needing less input from me and play more independently? At times I feel like a bad mother when I resort to CBeebies for 10 minutes so that I can make and gobble a sandwich!

my DD is 3 months, so much younger than you, but I read an interesting book about independent play that gave me some ideas, I've been trying to encourage it so I have some time to eat too!
She has a play mat and I sit there with her, and instead of interacting I sort of watch her playing, if she chats to me (ie makes sounds) I'll talk back otherwise I'll watch her, eating her fingers or looking at her feet etc, etc, eventually after 15 mins or so she seems to get absorbed in her play, and then I can nip off into kitchen. (though we live in open plan apartment so I'm right nearby) It seems like by having me be there for a while, it encourages her to feel safe, and after a while she is happy to play independently. Obviously I'm sure you'll get much more age appropriate advice from other mums, but is there a way you can kind of watch instead of play, so she knows your there, and then once she's absorbed in her own play nip off and do something?

I do this - but sadly we're not open plan so he can't see me. Interestingly, he was better younger than he is now! Now, if I'm in the kitchen, there's an angry/worried scream, pattering of tiny feet and then a hanging from my trouser leg

I know he's a bit more clingy as I've been in hospital recently and I can see why this is, but I'm a WAHM and going back to work after my sick leave next week (I work when he sleeps) so I won't have time to do dinner at this time when I'm working.

Can't even give him crayons coz he eats them if I don't watch him like a hawk!

Mine is almost 3 and still quite crap at playing on her own. She's really into imaginative play but we have to be customers in her cafe, help change dolls etc. Drives mad at times!

maybe he has to wait till he's a bit older for crayons then!
could you give him some activities to do in the kitchen, like saucepan banging or something|
My own approach to dinner is to start preparing at 8am in the morning, e.g chopping etc, so that even if i get interuppted every 5 mins I can get a meal cooked by end of day!

Well, he's not so bad in the morning, he's up between 6-7 usually, then he has breakfast and we play together for 5-10mins and then we go sort out washing for the day/dust/clean together. He sleeps at 9.30-10am for anything between 1.5-3 hours so I can work. IF I get work done I then get time to prep food, but as my hovel office is upstairs (with no way of moving it ) it's a case of trying to sneak downstairs without waking him!

The afternoon (post lunch) I usually try to get him out and about - swimming (or I will after stitches heal), shopping, the park and then home for a little play before his dinner - and it's at this point that things go a little awry with the inability to play alone.

I've been mulling over putting him into nursery for an afternoon here or there (assuming they do that, and it doesn't have to be full days) to get him socialising and playing more, but on the other hand, he's only young once and most of the time I love being with him - I'd just like to be able to chop an onion without my trousers ending up round my ankles! [hwink]

Guess it will come in time; or at least the understanding of not being left alone will.

[hwink] - should be of course!

Hey, my DS is 15 months, and we have a similar schedule to you. I generally leave him to play on his own in the mornings after breakfast while I do house things, notably washing up in the kitchen. But it is not long at all before he makes his way into the kitchen, although he is not too bad at amusing himself by unpacking certain cupboards, etc. Prefers to be there with me. I do try to chat to him and encourage him at the same time.

I have pretty much scrapped trying to do anything house related in the afternoons (unless it is vacumming which he enjoys!), especially dinner prep because it seems that afternoons are just a bad time for him! I think he is getting tired by then. 3:30pm - 5pm is our hardest time. Mornings are always best for him. He has his dinner soon after 5pm (I'm still mostly feeding him, or he finger feeds), then when my husband comes home he usually watches him in the bath, while I get dinner ready, and we eat just after he goes to bed (will eat altogether once he is properly feeding himself). Not sure if you have a DH in the house who could assist? Anyway, that is working well for us at the moment!

I'd put him in a sling on your back so you can cook and talk to him.

Does he have a second nap? Most children who are still napping that early are having a second one later - if he's not, then overtiredness might be part of the reason for the grumpiness. When DS dropped to one nap, he would wake at about 7, then nap roughly 11-1 and be in bed again by about 6.30.

I do think it's personality related, though - at that age, DS was often happy to entertain himself for quite a while, but he's always been like that, except for during developmental leaps.

I've always had him playing on the kitchen floor while I did stuff though, although now at 23 m.o. he's happy playing in a different room if he's absorbed in something.