Does he know I'm his mummy?

[BellaBells]

My DS is nearly 4 months old and I'm back at work. My mother has stepped up to help look after him which I am SO grateful for but I can't help but wonder if my son is starting to prefer her and will he know that I'm his mummy? My mother is doing the night feeds and I take care of him the days that I'm not working. I do the evening baths and change him for bed etc. I try to spend as much time with him as possible and I try to interact with him whenever I can. I've also stopped BF so I feel I've lost all connection to him, so he won't know I'm his mother. When he was born he went into NICU for about 2 weeks so I wasn't able to bond with him them. Someone please tell me I'm being very silly!!!

yes he knows - he just has someone else (your mum) to love as well

I would recommend that you refer to your mum as granny (or whatever she goes by) and she refers to you as mum. Could be confusing for him otherwise!

are you back full time?

Yes we try to refer to her as gma, nanny. I'm part time for now but will increase to full time in the next few months.

Thank you for replying, I can try and put my mind at rest tonight!

I know women who work long hours and the kids see more of the nanny than them. The kids still know who mum is!

Don't worry! It is normal to feel like this when you go back to work

I used to watch my nephew so much when he was small I was known as Mummy two :) He knew who his proper Mummy was.

Yes he does. And he loves you more than you can imagine. You are his world and he's terribly lucky to have such a caring mum and also a loving Nanny to take care of him.

Have you stopped bf recently? It's really common to feel quite strong emotions after stopping, even if it's planned. Almost like a bereavement? You could talk it through with someone on one of the helplines or the ladies in breast and bottle feeding here if you want to. Also you could re-start bf if you want to . Lots of working mums do one, two or more feeds a day round when they work. Many babies can be v flexible even if the working pattern's not regular -some just bf at night. If you're happy then of course you don't have to take any notice of this suggestion, but it's something to bear in mind.

Have you thought about getting into the bath with him? That can be a lovely way to re-connect.

You're doing really well you know. It's a time of big change, for both of you .

Bless, you sound lovely. If it's any consolation i don't think it matters how old they are when you go back to work, you'll always have those (unfounded)worries. I returned FT when DS was 9 months. He's now 1 yo and i still have occasional doubts. But every time he's poorly it's me he wants cuddles from and nobody else will do. You cannot break the bond between a mother and child if you are loving, caring, hands on and fun whenever you spend time together.

And yes, giving up BFing is a very emotional time anyway. Give yourself a break! He loves you!
x

Yes he does know you are his mummy. And his ability to show you will grow and grow. Then when he's a teenager he'll just grunt at you.

And enjoy the fact he is loved and he can learn to love other people too at such an early age. That sets him up well for life in the future to develop happy relationships.

My DS1 has a Godmother who he adores and is incredibly close to. He's 6 now and they get closer and closer. And often he prefers her company to ours but she's fun, thinks up crazy things to do and she's got all the time and all the patience in the world for him.

Sighs.

How many night feeds are there? Can you do the 10pm ish feed for example? I found night feeds a chore but they were special times between me and DS.

I have always worked full time and often long hours so I know exactly where you are coming from but I can assure you that my kids still love me the best as will yours!

Aaawww this is too cute!! so much i've messaged you!! .....yes he probalay already knows but without a doubt soon he definately will.....probalay be a Mummy's boy too!!!....so sweet!!

I used to be a nanny, and some of the babies I looked after saw far more of me than they did their mums. But there was never any confusion, and their mums were definitely who they preferred to be with & loved the most.

Yes he does I promise! You are going through 2 big things, stopping bf and also going back to work. Any 1 of those is a lot to deal with for a new mum, but both at the same time is going to be really hard. I went back to work when my son was 7m, and was ft when he was 8m, so I can totally relate to how you feel. He adores his childminder and often doesn?t want to come home in the evening as she has loads of toys and stuff ? but when he is poorly it is always mummy he wants.