I'm just not cut out to be a SAHM argh

[DitaVonCheese]

Both our potential plans for this afternoon fell through so we've just been bouncing off the walls. DD is gorgeous and hilarious and adorable but I am SHIT at playing with her and can't do it for more than ten minutes at a time without being bored shitless. We just made blueberry muffins in an attempt at good mummyness but turned out DH left the grill on rather than the oven on our cocking stovetop cooker which passes for a kitchen in this house so we've just grilled the fuck out of the tops of them rather than actually baking them. DS sat in highchair and yowled the whole time we were trying to make them.

I was supposed to be going back to work two days a week but got fired kind of. I miss work so fucking much, it was my break. I just can't face this being it from now on.

ARGH. And breathe. And count the minutes until DH gets home.

Totally understand Dita. I went back to work four months ago after two years at home with my two DC. I love them, but I cannot stay at home. How much longer till your DH gets back?

Doesn't matter they got grilled, sure its annoying but the making the effort is the important thing. You don't need to be a perfect mother. Doing your best and fucking up occasionally is good enough for children as it teaches them to accept their own shortcomings and those of their future partners.

I also get bored very quickly. So do something with them for ten minutes, then go do a chore hide and eat some chocolate and then something else for ten mins etc.

Do they like the bath? Stick them in with loads of containers, bubbles, maybe add some food colouring and let them eat grapes or satsuma segments (mango if you can afford it). Also have a cuddly film session and put your feet up. Ds will not stay still but did watch a bit if Fantasia. Get waterproof suits and go out even if its raining - the getting ready wastes a lot of time and the weather makes coming home a treat.

Are you looking for another job? Does dh take them both so you get a proper break every week?

welcome to my world. Shit, isn't it? But then so's working, unless you have a fab job. And they are so very cute.

agree with Albrecht.

I really do think very few people actually relish the whole business. most people just muddle through burning blueberry muffins.

my days are pretty dysfunctional. lots of dirge, interspersed with moments of happiness.

you are most definitely not alone.

basking you sound like a woman after my own heart. No playgroup tomorrow due to strikes. Sheer panic about how I'm going to fill the day.

just do it in bite-sized pieces - remember you can't eat a whole elephant at once.

i favour anything that involves me lying down eg, long long baths, tickle monster under the duvet that sort of thing.

hope tomorrow isn't too painful. the worst is when you're knackered, which is annoying as you feel you have even less of a life cause you have to go to bed at 10 o'clock latest, otherwise the next day is a write off.

Thanks so much for all the replies I missed out the bits about what a horrible shouty mum I was out of shame. Also the bit where DD pooed in her pants, poor girl.

My job was ace, only two days a week it was just such a break and now I just feel these days/this life stretching on and on and on. I was so looking forward to going back, was going to go with DS in a sling when he was tiny but then got told that I couldn't take my baby to work. Feel like a lifeline's been taken away.

DD will be in preschool 2.5 days from Jan (she does 1.5 now, in fact was there this morning, so I have been RUBBISH today ) and I feel really sad about it in some ways but I think it will be better for both of us :( Also she is actually really good at playing by herself, today just got away from me a bit. God I'm crap.

Bath is an ace idea, I think she possibly wouldn't even mind me sitting and reading a book ().

I've just trained as an antenatal teacher but by definition it will be evenings/weekends when pg women can come some already feeling guilty as it will be eating into family time. DS is only 18 weeks so bit little to leave him with DH yet (also ebf and he doesn't seem v enthusiastic about a bottle/I hate expressing). Also I feel stupidly guilty when I do leave them with him.

DH was back about half an hour later but inbetween posting and him getting in had some terrible family news so spent most of evening crying.

Thanks for letting me vent, hope this post makes sense, feeling a bit stream of consciousness today. At least the rest of the week is packed with activities!

Dita listen to me YOU ARE GREAT

don't say you're crap - you are NOT

EVERYBODY shouts at their kids everybody in the entire world, it doesn't make you a failure.

i found the small baby plus toddler stage absolutely awful. really lonely. it is a bit better now, they are 2, 4 and 9, but still hard work.

enjoy your moments, know that is doesn't last and know that you are totally normal.

x

DS was with dh for atleast 2 or 3 hours for that age. Yes if you are there he might feed all the time but if you are not they can cope with lots of lovely distraction.

Sorry to hear about your bad news, hope the rest of the week is better.

I giggled at the bit about the muffins - that is JUST the sort of thing I would do! I'm sure muffin mixture tastes as nice raw or grilled too!

Do you live in an area where you can get out to parks and shops easily? My lot loved going to a cafe and having a babychino or something at that age - or the library/feeding the ducks/trampling dry leaves. For me the trick was always to get out of the house as I could always see jobs that needed doing in the house.