struggling as a SAHM

[madmomma]

I'm looking for some advice really, on how to make the best of being a SAHM. My eldest is 14, my son is 13 months, and I have a baby due next month (oops-bit soon! ;-)

I was a SAHM to my eldest but I can't really remember much about it to be honest. I remember that she entertained herself a lot, we went for a lot of walks, and read a lot of books together.
With my son, he doesn't play at all really by himself - just wants to be 'helping' me, which is lovely, but our house is being refurbished & so is halfway like a building site (I have fabulous timing.)
We do 3 playgroups a week and see friends on one of the other days, but that still leaves a hell of a lot of time to fill. I take him to the library once a week and we do the usual browse around the local shops in the pushchair, but I'm a bit stumped as to how to structure the rest of the time.
DH doesn't get home til late, so I need to entertain him pretty much until 7.
What am I missing?

I make everyday tasks into an activity. Bath time takes a good hour, it's not bath time, it's water play. A walk to the post box, stop and point out everything from insects to leaves to cars etc.

I remind myself that we don't need to be places in a hurry, so after dropping the older 2 at school if my Dc3 (also 13 months) is having fun walking around the bench outside school for the 50th time then let her enjoy it, good excuse to sit on said bench for a rest.

If it's raining get wellies (might be a couple of months before your Ds is walking well enough?) an all in one waterproof and go splashing in puddles. My older 2 are close in age and I actually found it was easier with 2, especially when the younger reaches 12 months as they occupy each other.

Also don't feel bad about plonking him down in front of cbeebies for an hour.

Thanks AWimbaWay that all makes sense. (love the cbeebies part!)

Hi

I have a 16m old son who entertains himself fantastically well. I am in awe of him. This is because my DD, who is now nearly 4, was exactly like your 13m. The only thing she ever wanted as epople and people was mainly me. It drove me up the wall at times. She is much better now, but only because she is older and actually can do things with me. She can still be pretty full on.

In the end, I had a sort of routine where I would do one outside thing (park, library, puddle splashinig, cafe she's a people person so loves cafes etc) and one thing with other children (playdate / playgroup) every day - or pretty much. Home for lunch in the middle Early bath before dinner saved my sanity as it was about the only thing she would do without needing me to play all the time (I was there, of course). Early bed too. I wish I had figured that one out earlier.

Then, at 2, nursery some mornings. She loved it so much I can't tell you. She walked in and we never had a single problem settling or accepting anything.

Yeah I actually think he'd love nursery, and would happily send him for 3 mornings, but as I'm not working, we can't afford it. I do wonder sometimes whether he'd actually prefer being in nursery full time to being with me at home. Too late now!
I think you're right - I just need to plan like mad and have a heavily structured week. I won't have access to the car soon (retiring mine as too expensive to run 2) - so that'll be an extra challenge.
I'd like to say maybe things will be easier when this pregnancy's over, but that's a whole new can of worms!

Do you have a charitable one nearby? DD went to a flying Start one and now a charity one and they are much cheaper. Flying Start one was £5 a session. Worth looking into (if not now in a little while)?

P.S it will be easier when the pregnancy is over. Trust me.

i am dead on my feet with the exhaustion of it, and trying to get back a bit of a life now my youngest is 10months.

i was going out pretty much every morning for toddler activites and mine are all young enough to have an afternoon nap so i had an hour or so to kill in the afternoons. all change now ds1 is at nursery in the mornings, we do a lot more 'time wasting' type activities!

in 2 1/2yrs it'll all be pretty much over for me, that's what's keeping me going! i was in no rush for my youngest to be born because of the extra body to carry around and look after but 10months have flown by way too fast. i was in no rush to send ds1 to nursery either but he's loving it so we're thinking about upping his hours and starting ds2 a bit earlier than planned. i'm starting to wonder what i'll do with myself when they're all at school/nursery!

Thanks for that reassurance latrucha. I'm really hoping it will be. I guess maybe it depends what kind of temprament the new arrival has.
I'm with you naturalbaby - at least having them close in age means you get the baby stage done in one lot. And I'd far rather carry the youngest in my arms or a sling than in my belly!

not had any joy googling for charitable nurseries