non-stop tell tale about dd

[isobelle]

Hi all, when we go places parties etc or even after school in playground there is a girl who comes up to me frequently to say my dd have pushed, shoved or the like with mother in tow. I of course investigate or have witnessed the events and can seriously say that my dd does it in retaliation to what this girl does to her. If my dd ever comes over to complain about another child i say please stay away and play with someone else rather than go and tell the mother especially if there was blame on her part. WWYD? please advise its seriously driving me mad and greatly encouraged by the mother whom looks for the opportunity and has educated her to make a bee-line for me. Her dd has been in much trouble in school teachers requesting her to stay behind to discuss behaviour but shes taken it upon herself to say that ill be next (which i am aware that i may be) but it hasnt ever happened yet. I am loosing the will...

It sounds like a weird form of bullying....if I were you I wouldsay nextime "I can't hear it now....just going over there." and march off purposefully to another area....ignoring them
If they actually follow you then repeat but always in a friendly voice and talk on your phone...pretend there's a call.

If they're fail to get your attention then you should get rid.

How old are the girls? If they are over 6 then the woman sounds loopy.

Ignoring is best otherwise you will end up endlessly embroiled.

I'd just respond to this child the same way you would your own: "Oh well stay away from her then"

Mum of the said child should soon get fed up of not having some drama to watch...

thanks mumbling and tiger, its much appreciated and i need to think clearly when this happens it has been quite a lot but in situations like this i think i go into shock that a child is presented by the mother with a one sided story - i know my dd can be physical when provoked (has older siblings) but can safely say that in 9/10 incidents did not provoke/start the nonsense, shes just more laid back and doesn't come running whereas hers does and has been tutored to make a scene. dd is 6. i really hope this works.

Is she saying she is pushing her? Or other children?

I agree that you should say "keep away from her" and "you should find new friends that don't push you" Then turn to continue with what you were doing.

There is a girl like this in my social circle. She tells me all sorts of things that my dd is doing that she thinks I should be telling her off for.

"your dd is on top of the monkey bars" so I will say "isn't she clever!"

thanks savoy, everytime its happened its been the girl doing something, pinching, pushing and then mine doing it back but the girl coming to tell on my dd without disclosing why it happened or her part in initiating it. I really have to wisen up with a response and thank-you for these ideas as in the heat of the moment i find myself summoning my dd again, and getting cross and stressed again - they are only in yr 1 so we have a long way to go but unfortunately is mainly the other mum that chaperones her over (which i find v odd - don't you?)

Why doesn't your DD complain first, rather than retaliating?
How are they in class when supervised by a teacher rather than a parent?

dd is not really a tell tale as shes sometimes on the receiving end from older sibling so would just push back rather than keep running to parents/teachers. in class the girl has been in several incidents with other children where the mum has been called in, and there was one last summer with mine where nothing was said by teachers but the mum confronted me and said 'did you hear... her dd was pushed by my dd but she thinks hers started it...? so i replied - well id be v cross if mine started it, but shes bound to push back and not accept it...' she tried to follow up with me the day after and i said it was the teachers job to supervise the class - she said arent you bothered? i said yes but it was in class. nothing was mentioned by teacher. i think shes doing it on purpose but its enough to make me want to avoid parties, social events and i cant because dd looks forward to them thanks

Yes, I would say that too.

And "I spent 20 minutes filing dd's nails into points last night."

Savoy! I'm putting spurs on DD1's Kickers tomorrow...to deal with the little bugger child who pushed her off the stage at nursery Nativity rehearsals!