Confidence, does it just take time?

[LollipopViolet]

Right, bit of an interloper here as I don't have any children of my own yet, but a very good friend has a 3mo DS. I see her fairly regularly, although it's been harder since her DS arrived. Anyway, she's very relaxed, in terms of letting people help with him, if she needs to do stuff.

I popped round today, as she wanted some company and had a few jobs she had to do, and asked me to feed her DS and hold him on numerous occasions. I was OK with this, but I don't feel very confident at times when I'm holding him, and I'd never fed a baby til today so that was a new experience. I'm more confident now he can support his head, when he was tiny even holding him sat down was quite scary as I didn't want to hurt him.

Friend is very good about showing me things, how to hold him etc, but is there any way I can boost my confidence? Especially getting past the mental barrier of holding him whilst I'm standing up, as the idea of that scares me a bit! Any holds that feel nice and secure for baby and the person holding?

Also my friend's DS was doing this weird thing today of arching his back while being held, which didn't help my confidence, what's that all about? I was quite worried he'd slip out of my grasp, if you understand what I mean?

Sorry for the silly questions but I really want to be able to feel more confident around my friend's DS, especially as he gets bigger.

Well you need to relax - babies can sense the tension in your arms.

I hold young babies facing inwards, so one arm under bum, bum in crook of my elbow and other hand on their upper back.

Once babies are older and can sit up assisted, you can face them out in your lap, one arm/hand in front of tummy. Easy!

Don't overthink it - the more you do it, the easier it gets.

You sound like a lovely friend, for worrying and wanting to do your best. Don't worry about it, the answer to your question is yes, it does just take time.
Gets easier as baby gets bigger too. My babies were all huge, and I always get nervous when I cuddle a teeny tiny newborn.
Just be yourself, and enjoy. Your friend is lucky to have you to help!

Yes it gets easier as they get bigger and less floppy. It's also a lot easier when it's your own baby rather than someone else's. One thing you discover when you get your own baby, for example, is that they are a lot tougher than they look. You start out worried you'll hurt them and, in a matter of days, you're slinging them around nonchalantly like a sack of spuds and they're loving it :)

Now that my DDs are 7 & 9, I feel the same way as you around little babies! I am grand once they can hold their head up, but don't feel confident with them before that. Worst is when somebody tries to pass a newborn to me, either sitting or standing - I just feel so clumsy and akward.

Was not a problem with my own two, only with other babies. Practice bring confidence. And I'm rarely around small babies with the past few years.

You do sound a lovely friend.

years ago I was holding my friend's firstborn and he hurled himself backwards and ended up dangling by his knees over my arm with his head pointing toward the concrete! I still remember it with a shudder but what everyone else has said is true - familiarity is the key and you will find it gets easier as they get just a bit older and able to support their head reliably etc. Up on your shoulder is good, sort of sitting on your forearm with the other hand on their back or just sit down if you are given her, or put her on her playmat maybe.

I want a friend like you , you just need to mske sure baby feels secure before you stand up and the back archimg could be wind or stretching. My DH realised he was much more confident holding his own baby rather than others as he didn't feel he was being scrutinised or judged on how he did it when it was his own. Just relax and sit again when your arm or back aches