I don't know what to do with my kids - how crap is that. Ideas pls

[ErnesttheBavarian]

DS1 & 2 now coming home from school about 1 ish. They eat, do homework. Up till now they've then been out playing all afternoon, but now it's freezing and they don't want to go out, and they're bored. More and more they just want to play on computer/ds.

Ds1 just wants me to take him out and buy stuff ( )

I collect dd and ds3 around 3.30/4.

Ds1 & 2 are 12 & 10

Any ideas what we could do (all afternoon, every afternoon) It's almost like perpetual (freezing) summer holidays.

perfect age for board games. Mine are only tiny yet but I really hope that when they are old enough we can while away cold wet days playing endless games (rosy tinted specs firmly on). Maybe you could bribe encourage them by having some kind of sweet related prizes or tokens or something. You could take them out to choose a couple (though some are fearsomely expensive - maybe look on ebay or charity shops if you don't have a stock of your own)

Can I ask why your 12 and 10 years old are home at 1pm for the day? Does their school have odd hours? That would be a complete pain, IMO. In terms of what to do with them, I guess you have to ration out the afternoon - a bit of tv/computer and then they have to do something else that they find for themselves. Do they like to read? Is there a projects they can do together like a big lego construction? They're also the ideal age to learn how to cook - what about one afternoon per week taking them through basic recipes - that way they're occupied and you get tea made early.

we are in Germany. They only have 1 afternoon a fortnight of school but otherwise always home at 1 ish. In summer wasn't a problem, but now it's cold (we got up to minus 2 today) so they're not playing out anymore.

We do have loads of games, and we can also borrow them from the library but they seem reluctant to play any games. They both are big readers but while a bit is ok I hate our seemingly new routine of them coming in, playing on the computer and sloping off to read. I want to do something with them and take the opportunity to do 'older' stuff without the 2 younger siblings, but they seem to have overnight turned into teenagers (which they aren't) who are too 'cool' and suddenly outgrown things we used to do. they both like different things (ds1 into skateboarding). then I generally have say 2 hours before the 2 younger ones appear (aged 4 & 8) then I have to switch to younger activities like painting or lego.

I occasionally take then to a cafe but I don't want them to think you have to always spend $$$ to have fun iyswim. I need tips on how to engage this new age (while keeping a foot in the younger age iyswim) thanks

cooking not bad idea thanks or a project (I'm not very creative, both in idea and execution, but the times they really glow at school is when they have to do research and make a presentation to the class)

What about a science kit of some kind? Where they can do experiments or grow things? They sell lots on Toys R Us here but I'm sure Germany must have an equivalent? Have you asked them what they would like to do?

I sat down with them at dinner and asked. I suggested all the ideas on here and they did the whole shrugging shoulders thing and saying no to every suggestion. Only thing they came up with was trying harder to meet up with friends :( I would actually like to do some things with my own kids. I guess having 2 younger siblings I've been stuck in the little kids stage and lost touch a bit with the older ones. Don't mean to be over dramatic, but don't want to 'loose' them iyswim. Kind of feel like people living together in the same house rather than people who enjoy being together and doing stuff together. Obv i can't jump on a skateboard, and I don't expect to have the same cuddly doting relationship as with their 3 yr old sister, but I would like to be able to spend some age & gender appropriate fun activities together. Instead of every afternoon them sticking their nose in a ds or a book sitting on their own in their bedrooms.

Ds likes me to play wii with him, but i amspectacularly crap at it and he usually gets fed up and kicks me off it after 5 minutes.

Aren't there any extra-curricular activities they could do in the afternoon? Sport, swimming, music, art? It sounds like a great opportunity for them to follow their own interests, having so much time in the afternoon.

Ds1 has a music lesson 1x pw, but thats only half and hour, and they both do judo on a friday afternoon, but not till 5pm, when the younger siblings are then already back, so i in effect still have them the whole afternoon just them 2. I have encouraged them to do other stuff, like football etc but they've ditched everything else. The main activity other than screens is skaeboarding for ds1. He goes occasionally but the weather has been a hammer blow. I could try to take them swimming, but there's not much room for error without risking being late for dd collection ( traffic hold up etc).

They are apathetic and i'm drawing a mind blank. Thanks for suggestions. Their friends are all busy with either ec activities like football, which mine don't like, and are not particularly gifted in this area! Or they have extra lessons (private tutors) which mine dont have, so mine seem to have much more free time than their peers.

In summer its fab....

if they don't seem that keen to 'play' with you, maybe you could make it a bit more structured in that you have one afternoon with each child, and one afternoon you do something all together - either going out or an activity at home. This will still give each of them three afternoons where they are free to organise their own time with their friends or reading/ playing games - at least this way they know what's expected of them and you get the time with each of them.