After 4 yrs of being SAHM I feel spent - please help

[Boolah]

I am a SAHM through circumstances - we live abroad and childcare is not easy so I have had one or both small children with me continuously for 4 yrs, (eldest is at nursery in the mornings and younger one will go next summer when she is 3). I am on my own 12 hrs a day 5 days a week (not including getting up 2 -3 times a night). My husband is often away at the moment (hoping things will improve after xmas).

I am fed up - I long for time on my own in the day, for quiet. I am finding things relentless and I am snappy and irritable with the children - taking my frustration out on them which is not acceptable.

I feel that all of my good intentions have withered away - I do try to give them home cooked meals and I take them to activities and try to get out every day but I do not look forward to being on my own with the two of them and all of the good food and dancing in the world is no good if you shout. We went to the local zoo this afternoon and all was fine until almost 4 yr old wanted a poo - will only do in a nappy - which I did not have with me (she normally does in the evening) and would not try the toilet so then said she did not want one and then we were in the soft play area and then she said she needed one quickly so I dash like a mad thing back to the toilets only for her to have done in her clothes. I got cross.

I feel spent and I long for next summer when they are both out each day and I get some space.

How do I make the next 9 months good for all of us?

I have got no advise for you but know just how you feel. My eldest is in nursery two days a week and youngest starts in sept when eldest starts school. Just wanted you to know you are not alone

sounds quite understandable - anyone would be fed up - especially with your DH away/working long hours -

• do you know other mums - hanging out with other parents and kids makes it much better - and maybe you could do a child swap -ie you have kids one morning and they have them another - so you get a bit of time off in the day - - if you don't know anyone - maybe post on the living abrord section on here to meet up also be gentle on yourself - getting cross and shouting is normal - and to be honest any mum would have done so! Have could come across the book playful parenting that might have some ideas of lighting the mood

You are not alone
It's exhausting, boring and relentless

Can you do something for you in the evenings or weekends?

Keep talking if it helps

It is tough, I think I'm in a similar sort of position to you. DS1 is at pre-school and starts full time school sept and DS2 will start Jan 2012 and some days I count the hours till their bedtime!

I find if I am getting particularly stressed it helps to plan the days so I am out of the house as much as possible. That way I am calmer and therefore I feel better.

So plan next week so every morning & afternoon is filled. It doesn't have to be expensive. It could be wrap up warm & go to park (with bikes?), soft play. Are there any free Children's Centre activities near you? Free museums or galleries that are child friendly? I have even taken boys to big pet shops so they can see the fish/animals etc.

DVDs and Cbeebies are fab, so don't feel guilty if this gives you a bit of respite.

Finally, accept any offers of help so you get a bit of time to yourself and if there are no offers then ask.