How do you deal with "other children"?

[Ozziegirly]

So, three scenarios today. DS (14 months) and I were at the local play area, just us initally. I like to let him explore around rather than hovering over him the whole time.

A group of mums arrive for an exercise class with a varied array of children, probably about 7, ages about 2-5 or 4 or so. ALso in tow were various ride on toys and scooters.

Scenario 1 - DS excitedly chases bigger boy with ride on toy. Boy doesn't want to share (fine) but Mum says he should. I thank boy and say how nice he is and how pleased DS is. Boy and Mum play elsewhere and then Boy's sister(?) arrives and snatches toy from DS and runs off with it. DS; forlorn. I didn't say anything apart from to DS as I figured it wasn't his anyway. Would you have said anything?

Scenario 2 - mums are exercising. DS is playing with swing, not on swing but just swinging it around. Another boy comes up, pushes him out of the way and before I can swoop, has swung into him. DS; tears. I say to boy "That's really not nice behaviour, both pushing my son and swinging into him". He says "well I wanted the swing" - I say to DS "come on, let's play with something else, this little boy doesn't know how to share". Was that too mean or not mean enough?

Scenario 3 - there is a school next to the park.DS excitedly runs up to the fence when they come out to play. Boy of (I guess) 6 immediately tries to kick him through the fence and then pushes him away. DS; tears again. This time I say "WHAT do you think you're doing, pushing a little boy who was only saying hello? WHat is your name and where is your teacher?" "We don't have a teacher" I carry on "You are in trouble, pushing a little boy is very bad behaviour".

Anyway, we left then, too bloody exhausting!

I have never seen such a group of non sharey, snatchy children. I know children don't want to share, but should I just expect my son to be pushed and shoved when other children feel like it? Or am I being horribly PFB about the whole thing?

its not a creative toy. There is only 1 way to play with a swing and that is to swing it. It can be swung as intended with small child in it. Or it can be swung by little kids with or without teddy in it. A good life lesson that actual child takes priority over teddy or imaginery friend

Bull. An actual child playing with an actual swing, whether in it or not in it, takes priority when they are playing first. The only reasonable response would be to ask politely if they minded if someone else had a go in the swing since they aren't actually sitting in it.

OP it's all a total minefield. I have lost count of the amount of buckets, spades and other sand toys we have 'lost' through other kids playing with them then wandering off without giving them back.

My mum used to be a teacher and she has said to me that 'taking turns' is a better term rather than 'sharing'. You can't share a scooter - one kids has a turn and then the other IYSWIM?

I don't let my girls lend their scooters to anyone else now except to friends after some random kid took DD1 scooter out of the park and DH had to chase the parents to get it back. Nightmare.

I think you handled it about right tbh - you are never going to please everybody.

If my 6 year old kicked anyone, let alone a younger child, through a fence, I would hope he would be in big trouble (certainly would if I was there). 6 is very young in many ways but not so young that unprovoked kicking should be given a pass.

tiddlerslate - you have been very unlucky. My kids are always 'lending out' spades etc in the park and we have always got them back (although I have had to gently insist on an items return, occasionally).