appropriate terms for private parts

[Jokat]

Hi all,
My dd1 is three years old and bilingual. Whenever the subject of private parts has come up in the past, I have used German (which is my first language) age appropriate terms for them. The other day, she started asking my husband a few questions in English (his first language)and he wasn't sure what terms to use for a girl's parts and the "two friends" of a boy's willy! I'm very opposed to terms like "mini haha" (my husband said some people use this for girls' parts) and "front bum" (our friends' little girl is growing up with that). Can anyone tell me which terms you have chosen to teach your children? Thanks for your help.

Nu-nu for fanny, bot bot for bottom, though she's a bit confused about where one ends and the other starts (fair enough).

The nu-nu comes from punani which I think is Indian/sanskrit (?).

I get Hecate's point about using the adult words but bearing in mind that me, my DH, my DM, DMiL etc etc have to be comfortable with the word, nu nu works for us. And it's not easily confused with anything else.

willy and balls too for a boy. So much easier...

we're stioll stuck on this with my DD who is 2. Willy is easy for boys or penis. I am a GP and find the euphamisms some people use hilarious however I'd feel really wierd if DD went to nursery and talked about her "vulva". we just seem to be using "bottom" for now. My mad indian granny used to refer to "pee-pee jug" which is one horrid euphamism too far!

Wow, didn't think this many people would respond! This is a very interesting discussion and very helpful, thanks!

PlentyofPubeGardens - 'vulva' (or 'volva') actually means 'womb' in Latin (often of an animal); sometimes it means 'wrapping' or 'covering'. Not sure when it started to be used of the external female genitalia in particular.

'Vagina' is the standard Latin word for a 'sheath' - like a sword-sheath or scabbard. (Metaphor pretty obvious I think!)

'Penis' in Latin is a tail; or, indeed, a penis.

'Testiculi' are literally the 'little witnesses' (testis) - presumably to the act itself!

'Cunt' is very old in English; but it's also a Latin word ('cunnus'). Pretty rude in Latin as in English. Probably way back means something like 'hole' or 'groove' so pretty literal to start with.

downstairs.

When I was growing up, it was "front bottom". I certainly felt the proper words were really naughty and dirty and there was something wrong with the whole area. Perhaps that is why I am, erm, evangelical about vulva and penis and all that and reclaiming that body part as just that - a body part and not some dirty word we must whisper about or coyly point to down there.

there was never a word for the male parts, since my parents didn't have any sons, I guess they just avoided it altogether I don't recall ever asking.

I did spend an extraordinary amount of time looking up penis, sex, vagina, etc in the dictionary

Hecate, me too. But I think it was because I was stuck in the country, my parents didn't believe in TV and there was fuck all to do...

I can see both sides of the terminology debate, but I think to some extent it's horses for courses. I would talk about my own vulva/labia to a doctor, but to my mother I might say my 'bits' as she would die of embarrassment if I used a medical term. DD calls it her foof though she knows it has another name (just as stomach, belly and tummy are all the same to her). Given that she likes to twiddle it and will announce that she's going to her room to 'fiddle her foof' I'd rather she said that in front of her grandparents than told them she was going upstairs to masturbate.

I think it's something people get hung up on. I doubt the cause of feminism is going to be advanced by small girls referring to their vulvae rather than their twinkles (or whatever). Better off campaigning against Mothercare designating Toy Story underwear as exclusively for boys! (which pisses me off massively.)

Octaviapink you sound like a really cool mum!

OMG, for the first time ever, I don't agree 100% with Octaviapink! (I have a bit of an MN crush, but this is probably not the moment...) Totally get your horses for courses argument, Ms Pink, but must say that I do think the feminist cause will be advanced by generations of girls being unembarrassed by the words commonly used for female genitals. Wouldn't it be fantastic if our very language didn't require us to feel shame about our bodies?

And sideswipe at the latent sexism in vagina - as in sheath - as in named in relation to male rather than female experience of vagina. And why isn't anyone upset by the woman hating language used by John Terry in That Incident? [exhales].

Nothing helpful to add; we're a willy and fanny house.

See Im going to be brutally honest here I dont find it embarassing calling it vulva or penis becuase of its meaning and connection to genitals its because in my social circles it just would sound right same as if I send I was going to the lavatory, people would go get her!!

What Im saying is I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with vulva/penis BUT if like I do you call it a willy/fanny its not all ways out of any embarassment or shame of its proper name its because thats just not what I/we call it and feel a bit of a twonk talking to my DS about his penis - just seems too grown up. I will of course make sure my DC have no doubt of the proper words when they are older and if they want to use them wont discourage them.

I think the 'reclaim the words' argument doesn't really apply to terms like vulva - in terms of feminism anyway. Nobody calls someone a 'vulva' as a term of insult (that I've ever heard, anyway!). And yes, it is denigrating to the female sexual organ to have cunt used as a term of insult, but equally it's denigrating to the male sexual organ to call someone a cock as a term of insult. That's about a more general 'fencing-off' of words that relate to sex and sexual organs (just as death-terms are fenced off - people refer to someone passing away or whathaveyou).

Yes, it probably was the Victorians who started ringfencing the sexual terminology (before then I suspect a lot of it was religious insults/swearing) but I also think the general mores are moving so far away from the Victorians that in another generation the sexual words will seem very tame. The word 'fuck' has gone from being absolutely prohibited to being in regular use (the frequency with which it appears on the BBC is a good barometer). I'd expect calling someone a cock or a cunt to be about as rude, fairly soon, as calling them a bastard is now. These words are losing their power as society in general becomes more relaxed about sex. I expect that something else will become more powerful in due course, because we need powerful language at times.

SoH you said that people cheerfully use willy but that people won't use vulva. Willy is of course a euphemism - I think it's simply symptomatic of the fact that feminism has a long way to go that there isn't a general-use euphemism/ 'friendly' term for the vulva. (Vulva is a pretty horrible word, in aesthetic/auditory terms.) Maybe that's why threads like this exist, and so many terms - we're all attempting to coalesce around a word or a couple of words so we can stop thinking about it!

And I can only cringe at the absolutely repulsive 'babydancing' for sex - an accepted MN euphemism.

babydancing is an accepted MN euphemism for sex? Really?!

Thank god I've missed that one...