Anyone had easy first dc and challenging second?

[Whiteybaby]

Dd is 2.9 and ds is 6 months. People used to tell me what an easy child dd was and it used to irritate me as I still felt that it was hard work at times! Ds has made me realise how easy she was!!!

Anyway ds turns up and is a completely diff child and to be honest I am finding it really hard to cope. He has silent reflux and literally screamed for the first six weeks. I was adamant that it was prob just colic as everyone seems to have reflux round here but eventually took him to docs and reflux was confirmed. He got his first teeth at 4 months and seemed to suffer more than usual. He is teething again now which also seems to make the reflux worse. He is hugely active and although I love this to an extent I can't leave him for a second as he constantly rolls off and gets stuck. He seems to cry all the blinking time, fights sleep, howls when wakes, moans if left, hates the car seat, screams when in buggy while I get dd ready to go out then is fine when moving.

He slept thru from 12 weeks for four weeks and then hasn't since. I am up with him every night and never get more than four hours sleep in a go. I'm knackered!! We considered doing cc but I can't and he just cries so I don't see how it will work...

Dd is a nursery three days a week and although still pretty placid is a nearly three year old and has her moments.

Sorry this has turned into a huge moan! I guess what I am asking is whether anyone else had similar and how did they cope... When does it get better????

My first two dss were almost exactly the same. Got through it some how,because it did get better though I know that's no consolation. My two are grown up now,and strangely the younger boy is now an even-tempered,laidback cheerful kid! My one regret is that I feel I was snappy and impatient at times with my eldest,who didn't deserve it,simply because I was so tired and stressed out with my difficult baby. I wish I could go back and do things differently with him.

Clawdy I know what you mean. Poor dd is expected to be a big girl and definitely gets short shrift sometimes because I am strung out. She is a real daddy's girl too and now ds beams when daddy here too so I starting to think it may be me having this effect on them.

No,it's not you,it's just that dads are that little bit less involved emotionally, and often not around during those exhausting daytime routines,so they can be a bit more relaxed than us,and children respond to that. You'll probably find ds will crawl and walk fairly quickly,and mine became easier once he could move under his own steam! He just seemed to hate being a baby! He slept better too as he became more active. I know it's so hard,but you will be joking about it to him one day!

Oh poor you - he sounds just like my DS (who was my first and nearly put me off having another!). Hang on in there, you're almost through the worst of the reflux and honestly, as soon as he starts moving/walking it will get better and better. People actually ask me if DS is the same child as the baby they met as he's so calm now in comparison (and that's not that calm!!). Ps we did CC at 7.5 months with him as I was about to have a nervous breakdown and a full nights sleep also transformed him into a much, much calmer happier baby. Good luck!

Thanks for replies. MrsD that is so true about sleep. On the odd occasions he has had a decent amount of sleep at night he wakes up cooing rather than howling. Who thought a nice nap could be so tricky!

I think we may try the dreaded cc over Christmas when DH not working and can share the load. I need to get some sleep else I am going to go bonkers!

On the bright side my mum has taken pity on me and offered to come and stay for a few days next week. I find it's so much easier with company around.

Must stop being bad mummy tho and start the bath madness! thanks again for the replies!

i definitely have the same pattern as you. by dd2 is now 4 and it is just getting easier now. not sure if that is any consolation but keep on being firm and i do believe cc is the way forward once all eating/ weaning type issues are sorted- if you both have sleep then life is so much b etter for everyone.

nowwearefour four years old?? Really? (faints)

Am off to bed but already feeling that slightly queasy feeling about the night to come. Come on mini whitey have a sleep filled night!

ok it is easier since prob dd2 was walking than it was around 6m,onths to 1 year. but it has had its v tricky points since then too- not just all easier. sometimes as hard, sometimes a bit easier. but now is consistently easier. but i def recommend getting sleep - your own ds so you know best but for me, her learning how to sleep really mattered.

I think we are going to do cc ov Christmas. DH will have a couple of weeks clear from work so we can both do it. Agree sleep will help me and him so it's worth it. I have read a few things re cc and the tales of happy sleeping babies is too good to be possible!

Onwards and upwards!!

the thing about cc is that once you have embarked upon it, it is v hard but you need to carry it through. usually 3 nights is enough but it might take up to a week....