Should I Or Shouldn't I?

[Barreal]

I wasn't sure under which 'topic' to post this question, so forgive me if it doesn't fit into the 'Parenting' category.
I don't have any children but am thinking about having kids.
I have been thinking long and hard about this.
I am in my early 30's.
I am torn between remaining childless and continuing to lead a pretty free life, indeed, I can retire fully in a few months time, and travel the world until the good Lord takes me, or I could start a family. Starting a family would mean that I wouldn't be able to continue the lifestyle I have become accustomed to; long vacations 3 times a year, freedom to do what we want, when we want, no money worries given than working for two and providing for two and saving for two, well, it's probably a lot easier than if we were parents.
However, we both love the company of children.
We like hanging out with our friends who have kids.
We wonder if we will be missing out by not having kids.
If the somewhat selfish lifestyle we lead, with ultimate freedom just around the corner, will not match up to the lifestyle we could have if we decide to have a baby, that not having children will lead to regrets.
Those of you who have had children, or indeed, maybe there are people like me out there, trawling MN looking for answers, what would you advise?
We are far from wealthy but can afford to 'retire' in a few months time, albeit we won't be living it up; we're campers, not hotel people, and travel in low cost countries, and are interested in the planet, but we also feel that we might be missing out if we don't have kids, but having kids will mean that we will have to continue working.
Not sure what to do.
I'm sorry for the length of this question.

Only you and your DP can make this decision. Children will completely change your life and it sounds to me you would resent this.

Hmmm. I think you're right. We have thought so hard about this. And some of the stories I have read on MN have made me think deeper, do it , not do it, and I think I'm too selfish in the end. My partner would cope, I am sure, but I think I've been too much of a free spirit for too long now, so having a kid/s might wind up destroying something that is working really well, even though we are on the fence regarding the issue of, well, will we regret it in the end, when we wind up old and lonely.
Thanks for your answer.
I probably won't add to the world population after all.
;)

Yes, I think if you like your life the way it is, then you may well be happier enjoying other people's children. It's nice to 'meet' someone who is honest about this - I know people who've never articulated these thoughts and have had children they didn't really want and resented.

Have kids. Home educate them. Continue travelling the world with them alongside you.

Having kids is a massive life change, I can't emphasise this enough. I lived on my own for ten years before I met my dh and had kids so had become accustomed to pleasing myself, nipping to the pub for a couple at short notice and having money in my pocket. Now I can't just drop everything, organising is like a military exercise and I've never been this skint in my life. I don't regret it though, love my dh and ds and I'm planning another sometimes I do miss being spontaneous though.

we have 2 children. We lived abroad and travelled a lot before we had children. Now we have the children life is different, 'spontaneous' is means having a hot chocolate and marshmallows instead of popping to the pub, and travel usually involved a little more planning :-)
we still can have weekends away even spontaneous ones - just involves 4 - or else willing sitters !
WE travel - but it s opened our eyes to a different stratosphere - a less ' self involved' maybe the more important things in life - maybe sounds romantic and silly but rediscovering sandcastles, enjoying nature and discovering that you dont have to travel to the ends of the earth to find true natural wonders and beauty. Before I had kids I was self involved and thought that important things in life was ticking off my 100 places to see before you die list or my 7 wonders of the world list ... now the important things have still changed, I m still me but my life is enriched by having to care for and love my children.
I dont think you can do a survey to decide if you should have children though. It s your life and a big commitment and decision. You re obviously thinking about it for some reason.

FWIW I think you ll never regret the children you do have but maybe the ones you dont. But I dont think you should have children because a biological clock is ticking and you feel the need to join the crowd. Good luck with your decision.

barreal do you have a good support network around you? this makes having children and still having a life much much easier.

I agree with theseventhdwarf in that you are more likely to regret the children you don't have. But I am aware of the large amounts of unwanted children around the world. And I think its down to the individual couple.

My DH and I didn't think we would ever have children as it took us 4 years to conceive and we ummed and ahhed over whether we really should as we were so content. Now we have a gorgeous 7 month old daughter whom we adore more than anything else in the world.

Saying that, they are bloody hard work, even the easy ones!! And a massive emotional journey!! I have never cried as much as I have in the last 7 months, mostly through happiness because I adore her so much but sometimes through dispair, and exhaustion.

Good luck with your decision. x

In your case I would leave it a couple of years and then revisit -things may have changed - if you were 35 or 38 I would say its more clear cut start trying now or forget about it - but you say early 30's so not quite the rush - that's assuming that you or your OH could start work again fairly easiliy I guess