Ok, i'm going to bite the bullet and just do it....Dummy Fairy is on it's way!

[kblu]

I've a 3 year old obsessed with his dummies. However he's not needed/wanted or even asked for his dummies in the daytime for ages and ages now, so just has them at pyjama/night time. I decided on this two-step approach as I thought it would be less brutal for him. His dummies are his only comfort, he doesn't have a favourite teddy or anything. They are becoming a complete pain in the arse though, if he loses it at night he won't settle until he's found it, sometimes if he wakes in a bad mood he'll throw it at me and then scream and carry on until "i've found it". The little swine is completely running rings round me and i've had enough. This morning was the last straw when he had me cleaning it at 5.00 am because it had "germs on it" and then he threw it at me in temper and moaned because he then couldn't find it. For fuck's sake!

So they are going. I've made the decision and i'm going to stick with it. Dummy Fairy is coming on Tuesday. I've read that a lot of people say it worked but i'm not expecting it to be easy. I think he'll accept it but it won't stop him asking for it and screaming the place down and not sleeping so i'm prepared for a couple of nights of hell.

I'm just looking for some positive stories or tips to make this easier to be honest. Anyone?

Just reading my post back I do realise that probably a couple of nights of hell isn't going to be any worse than what he's putting me through right now with his dummy games.

When I was little I had a string on dummies, one year Father Christmas took them away and exchanged them for a really good present.

I have no idea now what that present was now.

My dd has a dummy and I am not looking forward to getting rid of it.

I mentioned the existence of the Dummy Fairy to ds last night - he's becoming addicted to the bloody things, wants a dummy rather than telly or train track or anything.
He said he wanted Father Christmas to come instead (cos FC gives you presents if you're good anyway and don't have to swap for dummies). So I think the dummy fairy might turn up in the New Year... but his sibling is arriving in February... what to do...

Hopefully there's some toy that he'd see as a decent swap for dummies - he's still chuffed about having a scooter 'because I'm good at using the potty', 3 months on!

find a note "from the dummy fairy" one morning saying she's coming soon "to take the dummies for babies that need them" because he's such a big boy now...make it a really exciting big deal. bring a good present. Do it soon so he doesn't associate it with arrival of younger sibling.although, having said that, you could do it when he/she arrives as a 'big brother' thing. but you run the risk of jealousy of the new one will be using a dummy too...

mud - ds never had a dummy until 10 months when he got a stinking cold and it was either sucking me all night or sucking a dummy. So doubt there will be confusion with new baby... though he's already insisting on playing in baby room at nursery instead of Preschool and refusing to be grown-up. He is the opposite of any child who says 'No, I do it myself!' - wants to be waited on hand and foot forever!

Big battle atm is getting him out of the pushchair - we did well for a few weeks until he got a cold and now needs it to get to nursery, or rather we need it to get him home again! Right now I'm sticking with 'dummies are for naptime and bedtime, so stay in your bed. No, the telly isn't going on until your dummy goes to bed...'. And he doesn't have one at nursery though does ask for it on the way home.

The Dummy fairy came to my DD a month before her 3rd birhday, although she had only used them at bedtime for about 18 months.
She was the one who said the dummy fairy could come and give her dummies to the new babies and although she asked for it when shewent to bed, when i told her they had gone she didn't ask again. The dummy fairy left her a present (a talking Woody from Toy Story) and she was delighted and showed all the family what the dummy fairy had bought her.

I honestly thought it would be much harder but it was easy...when they are ready, they are ready.

I personally would do it Tuesday as you originally planned. With a baby coming in Feb, it would make things much harder I think should you wait until closer to that time.

As you say, you might have a couple of screaming fits from him, but it sounds as though he's doing that most nights anyway so you should hardly notice :)

I took my DS's away as a smaller baby so never really had this problem (fortunately!). But, I did have the task of helping get rid of my nieces when she was 3. Parents had tried everything to no avail. When she came to stay with me for a week, I simply took them away. Told her they were for babies and to me, she looked far too big. There were a couple of days where she'd ask for it through the day and at night and I'd sometimes say, I've not got one they've all been taken away now and other times I'd simply ignore what she'd said - thinking if I didn't acknowlege it, she'd be more likely to forget.

Anyway, by the end of the week I took her home dummy free. Parents were expecting her to go straight in and look for her comfort but no, she walked in and said "I don't want a dummy now, I'm big".

Think in these cases you just have the bite the bullet and be tough, in a sense.

Just thought I'd update as tonight is the night! I've been gearing him up for it for days and he seemed happy about it until bedtime tonight. He's been absolutely inconsolable and didn't drop off until about half an hour ago felt so sorry for him.

Hope he stays asleep now until morning! Wish me luck

Good luck! Be strong, it'll be worth it in the end.

Good luck, I'm sure it won't be as bad as you fear. We did it a few weeks ago and I was amazed at how well it went.

I was anticipating a nightmare few days, but she loved waking up to find the present and letter from the Dummy Fairy, and only mentioned it a few times over the next couple of days. Each time she mentioned it I just said "Oh but they've gone to the babies now, remember the Dummy Fairy left you the present?" and she just accepted it. I wish I had done it ages ago now.

Thank you, Peppa pig camper van is waiting in the porch for him in the morning . Told him the fairy would leave him a present and he was so desperate before bed he said he didn't want a present he only wanted his dummy, so sad!
I've thrown them away so I can't soften and give in.

I cut them up before putting them in the bin to avoid me giving in and wading through the rubbish for them at the first sign of distress!

As long as you can be matter of fact about it when he asks you should be fine. It will be over before you know it!

kblu - how did it go last night?

Hiya, mumsnetting from my bed it went really well, not a peep out of him all night and he's still asleep. He did sleep with me though (dh in spare room!) so that may have helped. I think he slept better to be honest. No constant sucking noises and scrabbling round in bed searching for it. Can't wait to see his little face when he sees what the fairy has left him.

I'm glad I did it, we've bought him a big single bed which arrives next week as he's grown out of his cot bed so I think the excitement of that will really help get him back sleeping on his own.

Oh that's brilliant! I wish my DD slept in - 5am starts here are the norm.

He'll love his fairy present and you can use that to distract him if he ever mentions the dummy. In a few days he'll have forgotten all about it. Well done!