Tearful/emotional DD

[varicoseveined]

My DD is 4 years old. When I had DS 10 months ago I had to unexpectedly stay in hospital for 5 days and DS was in the neonatal unit for a week.

When she was at nursery her keyworker said that DD had become a lot more emotional and more easily prone to tears. Add to this that I was cranky with her at times when I was heavily pregnant :( she's been having frequent nightmares since starting school. I have realised that I was too punitive a mother and my philosophy has changed. Im trying to be more patient and speak more gently but what else can I do to help her? I'm due to go back to work in January and I'm conscious that we we won't have as much time together.

Thanks if you've read this far, not sure if I'm making sense :s

DS1 was 4 when Ds2 was born, both in hospital for a week and DS1 got very teary and worried, so not used to me not being there and it was a bit touch and go with DS2 at the time (now happy & Healthy 4yo). For us, getting back to normal was key, routine he was familiar with and just lots of hugs and special time together, just the two of you if you can, even a cake and coffee at Starbucks for half an hour will really help. It's time with this sort of thing that wil help.

Thanks for your reply!

On reflection I think a lot of it is just 4 year old meltdowns but I don't think I helped when I used to yell t her, etc. just this afternoon she was in tears after a v gentle reprimand and she said "you don't like me anymore"

We're going to have a girly Saturday together, I hope it'll help.

Make some special 1:1 time for your girl ever day doing what she wants to do. Older children often feel "displaced" in their mother's affections by the new sibling - your role is to show your dd every day how much you love her and value her. Spending time together is the natural expression of this love.

Thank you for your advice. It's so simple isn't it? But all too easy to miss.

This morning we had another meltdown but I made sure that my tone was calm, it made all the difference. I think I need to lighten up more and bring laughter and fun back into the home. Feeling optimistic! :)

I have a fave book that you might enjoy - Playful Parenting

Thanks for the recommendation, I'd recently heard of it but forgot the title. I've also got my own copy of "How To Talk..." instead of the library's