what should i do as muslim familly about christmas?

[preciousmum]

Hi there.
we are a muslim familly very open minded.we practice and we celebrate aids and DC gets presents and party.previously they used to get present in chrismass as well because i was thinking i dont want my kinds to feel they are missing out,specially when they go back to school and their friends are talking about their chrismass presents.But this year i decided to stop the christmass present and make it clear that aids's gift is what they get as that is what we celebrat,so we can keep it special to us.
DC know what is chrismass for and what aid is for.
they still will sent their christian friends and nighbours cards wiching happy chrismass,and take part in the school party.iam happy with that.
Has any one been in same situation?what do you think?
Many thanks.

I think it's a bit hard to stop giving them gifts when they have had them previously....far kinder to maybe give some small gifts on Christmas Eve...

slightly different situation for me as I am a practicing Christian as is my family who we live with, but DH is Muslim and DD is being brought up Muslim. My mother has bought her one toy for Christmas, and my bro was instructed to get her just a small piece of chocolate, DH and I have agreed to buy her shoes (which she needed anyway) - she already got toys from us and from DHs family for Eid in August (but we didn't give her anything for the Eid in Nov). She is only young (21mo) but we intend to keep Christmas minimal as she grows up too - if it wasn't for my mother DD wouldn't get anything and I would be happy about this.

So I don't think its a problem if you don't give children something on a day which doesn't mean anything, much better to keep it for a day which they can understand etc, although as Mumbling said, it may be more difficult for you as they are used to receiving presents in previous years.

As for participating in school parties I would say that was fine (I intend to take DD to the christmas playgroup) but I think cards are unnecessary and dressing up is a no no too (in the same way you wouldn't participate in dressing them up at halloween).

Thanks mumbling for your replay.I was thinking to make the presnet for the new year insted maybe,also one ocasion less is less headacke and less spending,because they do get birthday presents as well.

Acknowledge the day, but as previous posters say, you can keep it low-key.

im not in your situation at all (atheist) but loads of Muslim children at my dds school; they mostly join in with the parties; as all the kids tend to attend the xmas, diwali and eid parties, but they dont go to church for the carol singing. None of the kids i know that are being raised muslim by 2 muslim parents get xmas presents as christmas is not celebrated in the home; only where 1 parent is christian or would be celebrating christmas anyway. i don't think they are, or feel they are, missing out do they?-they have eid(s)

Thank u so much for all your views.they are very appriciated.Any views are welcome.

DP's family is muslim, mine is not. we do have a xmas tree at home and do presents but it is much more a tradition rather than something religious.
then we always spend xmas at my family where there is a traditional xmas and then Go to DP's family where my MIL spoil them with presents (then again she spoils them everytime...!!!). but we wont have a special meal or a xams tree at my PIL.
We were in Morocco for the august eid and although we celebrated with all the family, they didnt get any presents at all, nor did the other children.

For us it is all good fun, welike to being part of whatever celebration there is, but again, we are not practicing, nor are either side of our family so it is very much for the folklore.

This year i have asked my mum o find us a real nativity scene in a church to show the children. For me it is a step towards understanding their culture and where they are coming from rather than getting closer to God.

how old are your dc? if they are school age they should be able to understand it if you explain to them about having presents on eids instead. did you get them stuff for the eid just gone? then also if you think they may be missing out you could say to them we will go in the january sales to chose a couple of things, so thats not for xmas its just for the sales. i never got mine presents on xmas, it must be hard to start doing it then stop but i think they will be old enough to understand, hopefully?
i dont think i will mind mine joining in school things like parties or celebration at school, for xmas or for whatever celebrations they cover at school but just not to do any at home, except for on both eids. we decorate our house normally on eid, and do presents, special cakes etc to try and make it a bit fun and special for them. maybe you can say to them hve they got any ideas wht they would like to do on eid, and u can use their suggestions like some people do days out the day after eid, if theres anywhere they want to go, so focus on the positives and exciting part of eid rather than focusing on lack of xmas presents?
if they feel they are missing out or moan about it you could say look we have 2 eids, and the other children only get one xmas, so u got your celebration twice!

I'm not Christian but still celebrate Christmas. I see it as the winter solstice festival basically nicked by Christianity! Nothing wrong with celebrating it as a winter festival, and a festival of light in the dark months of the year seems like a good idea to me. I enjoy the family gatherings, visiting friends, and cooking and sharing nice food with the people I love, as ell as giving loved ones gifts (not always big expensive ones, but sometimes food or something homemade) so I don't feel bad about passing all this on to LO even though I personally don't really celebrate the birth of Christ on that day.

Thanks to you all for charing your thaughts with me.FIRAWLA my kids are 6 and 4,they did get presendts for the Eid just gone and the aid before,when they woke up in the morning they were surprised to see the house well decorated and the presents they were hoping to have all rapped up,we had nice familly breakfast and went to the mosque with DH,then had special lunch ,and relaxed at home the rest of the day,the following day kids had a friend visit.My oldest did say that this Eid is the best.Specially that we are living eway from familly iam trying to make it extra special.Iam waiting for the next sale and i will buy some nice crackers,and save them for next year Eids,then we can call them Eid cracker.i think this is a nice thing,as my DC likes crackers.Anyway Thanks u so much Firawla,u gave me nice ideas.

We don't celebrate Xmas, because of our religion. I guess what I'm wondering is, how can it be ok for kids to join in parties and send cards celebrating Xmas but then tell them their not celebrating Xmas so not getting presents.
I have a Muslim friend and they do celebrate Xmas.

My sister, her husband and 3 kids are all muslim living in the US. They don't celebrate Xmas and the kids don't get Xmas presents - I send a Xmas card but they don't send them and we never exchange presents. I don't send Eid cards - but I send a note on FB if I remember and she might send me a similar note at Xmas.

I'm actually not sure if they do any Xmas decoration or if the kds send cards to their friends - I'll have to ask. I actually use some Eid decorations for both occasions - Xmas and Eid.

I imagine you also have the problem of not always having a public holiday for Eid. We are gearing up for Thanksgiving but in the UK - so we can't hold it on a Thursday which dh finds very annoying (we can't expect guests to take the day off or take kids out of school for it). We have this discussion every year - how to do Thanksgiving out of sync with the rest of the family.

I grew up in a Jewish family. We didn't celebrate Xmas at all at home - no tree, no presents etc. We were allowed to join in with carol concerts but not carol services. We could be in Christmas plays but not nativity plays. That was just the line that my parents drew. It was basically yes if it was cultural, no if it was religious. We did send Xmas cards and give Xmas presents to friends, just as you would on their birthday because they were celebrating IYSWIM.

On the actual day it just varied from year to year. My parents prefer to go on holiday but we couldn't do that every year. Most years we just had a quiet day at home or meet up with family, there isn't much else to do.

We did celebrate Chanukah so got presents then. I can't remember ever feeling hard done by or left out but I did want a tree. They just looked so amazing!

Thank u so much to Acinonyx and Camdamcer for posting their views as well :)

I just want to up date those who suggested that it will be hard to stop giving the present now that they got used to.Well i had a little talk with my DC saying that this is year there will be no Xristmass present as the Eid just gone and they had far too many present and we will stick to it ,as they have 2 Eids plus birthdays compared to just 1 xristmass.And they were happy with new agreement,so iam so pleased.I think it would have been more difficilt if i left it for longer.And thanks to Candancer for her advice about the school xristmass services it was helpfull.