Shouted at DD (5) and still feel crap..

[plus3]

awful morning. Just normal procrastinating but it drove me bonkers and we ended up having a huge shouting match, ending with her sobbing.

I know I could have handled it better, but she was being so bloody minded, rude and utterly frustrating.

We were in a rush to get out, and she just wasn't.

Don't know what I am asking of anyone, just need it out there. Any advice/words of wisdom?

Don't feel bad about i and don't be tempted to apologise. She was being a PITA and you lost your temper. It's quite normal and it's also very important for children to see that you're not some uber-calm automaton that can take rudeness without getting angry. When things are calmer, talk to her about her behaviour this morning. Explain that you don't like shouting at her any more than she likes being shouted at and get her to apologise & say how she's going to do things differently tomorrow morning. Could be that you all need to get up a lot earlier and give yourselves more time to get ready

I agree, talk about it, why you were in a rush, why she was acting that way.

Sounds odd maybe but ask if she has any ideas how you can make mornings easier (you don't have to go along with everything she suggests obviously) but perhaps she has a few tweeks to your routinue that would make her more obliging. The simple fact of asking for her imput might get her to feel better about being part of a team to get everyone out of the door, not it being a battle of wills.

How on earth would shouting at your 5 year old ever make you feel any better?

I disagree with earlier posters - I think this reflect badly on you and not badly on your child, and I think you do need to apologise to her. Where is your empathy?

eh?? she didn't beat her child, or neglect her, or abandon her - she SHOUTED at her! like most of us were shouted at as kids. Did it mentally scar us forever after? no.
Sometimes children push you for a reaction because they NEED a reaction. They need to see what will happen, and how it makes you feel. It's fine, OP - please don't beat yourself up over it. I personally think a guilty parent who constantly apologises and berates themselves in front of DC is far more psychologically damaging.

Don't think thats helpful Essentialfattyacid, the OP already says she feels bad about it.

OP- We've all done it. The fact you feel bad about it sounds to me that it doesn't happen very often.

I think at 5 it's worth having a chat through it, and I probably would apologise for shouting, ask her to apologise, make friends and put it behind you, move on and do something nice together.

As long as it's not happening too frequently, put it behind you.

In an otherwise loving, supportive happy family the odd bit of shouting can be forgiven!

Its very important for children to experience shifts in emotions and not see you as perfect. It helps them deal with outside life. A small amount of shouting is not an issue and totally normal. And to have a calm chat about it the next day is great. It helps children realise how people work. Essential must be an angel, the rest of us are humans.