It's relentless, monotonous, mind-numbing and shattering. You feel so consumed by it all I think. It's always there, 24hrs a day, you don't ever switch off and it's like your world has contracted down to this tiny baby who you adore like nothing else, but are shackled to in a way which means that even if you get up, get you both dressed and out the door successfully, the feelings go with you.
I felt like that too. I was surprised to find that it was because I don't really like babies. Well I like them, you know, in that, look at them all scrunched up and protesting at the temperature/colour/smell/feel of the world type way but I found parenting one of the things bloody hard. From about 12 months onwards something started to shift and I realised that it was our relationship blossoming into a two way thing which was wonderful and beautiful because I'd put in those relentless hours in the early days. The more dd gained independence, the more I understood her, the more I relaxed, the more I could see the fruits of the hard work coming out in my gregarious, funny, amazing child, I understood that it was okay to have felt that way in the early days.
I have another baby now who is 9 weeks old and it's still the same but this time round I know how quickly it passes and how important these early weeks and months are for creating a secure attachment. So I'm trying to step back a bit and see it for what it is which is a fleeting time. I am trying- and even succeeding- to enjoy this bit, to know that it won't last forever and to put a lot more effort into doing things just for me. So I hand ds over and I read/workout/have a bath and I remember that I will feel like me again and the fog will lift.
Don't worry. Your hormones will settle, your baby will change and you won't feel so altered forever.