Going on holiday without my 1 year old - bad parenting?

[Snowboarder]

Every year prior to having my DC I've been skiing with my best friend for a week. We've had a brilliant girly time and I've really loved every minute of it. My DC has been on a fair few stag dos abroad so I see it as my opportunity to do similar and let my hair down whilst enjoying a sport I love.

This year I missed our trip to have DS which was obviously unavoidable - it was a very difficult pregnancy and birth as DS was 3 months prem and spent the first 2 months of his life in hospital so we've had a very stressful time. He's been home now for almost 7 months and doing really well. I'd thought I would probably not be able to go away any more as DS would need me and I probably wouldn't want to leave him either.

The thing is my best friend has just told me that she's going to have to relocate to the other end of the country for work which will likely mean that I will see a lot less of her in future. My DH and I are also planning to try for another baby next year so possibly, everything considered, this could be the last time I get chance to have this week away minus children.

So, given that DH is willing to take a week off work to look after DS whilst I am away, do you think it would be ok to leave him for a week to go on holiday with my best friend? DH is going on a stag do to Las Vegas in the next few months so is it fair to expect 'my turn' - or am I being a bad mum? I don't want to leave DS and would no doubt miss him like crazy whilst I was away, but I must admit that I relish the idea of having a girly week away with my best friend one last time.

What do you think? No abuse please.

I wouldn't enjoy being away from my DS. But my other half often has to go away for a week or so because of work and we don't give it a second thought.

If you think you'll be able to have a good time then go for it.

You probably don't like it because it is not what you want to hear. You would like everyone to be able to do it and then you wouldn't feel uncomfortable about doing it.

Sorry, but I could not leave my one year old for a week, however I completely understand that it doesn't mean anything or reflect upon a person in any way at ALL as a mother, if you do do it, and I don't think there will be any lasting impact in any shape or form. You asked for people's opionions, and that's mine. Sorry if it annoys you!

I wouldn't because I'm the main carer.

I have a one year old. I am not sure I could leave her for a week because I would miss her. But that is for me- I know she would be just fine with DH for a week. I think it is insulting to the bond DH has with her to say it would 'damage' her to be left with just him. But neither of us is the primary care giver as we both work full time, she spends equal time with each of us. Actually, I am persuading myself here... Would absolutely love a whole night's sleep with a lie in. Imagine having 7 !

Go for it! I went skiing and left the 12 month old and 2 yr old with DH who had a week off. DH doesn't like skiing, there is nothing in for that age DC and they all had a lovely time at home and I took DS1, who was old enough to ski. Everyone was happy. DH is an equal parent, give him the chance to be alone with them. If you are the main carer, I was, even more reason to let DH have a go and not selfishly hog the position.

I now you said this is worse...:o I couldn't because I'm a soppy date but I know that dd would be absolutely fine with DH for a week (and will have to be soon when I have this baby). She'll be slightly less clean and groomed and fairly mismatched clothes-wise but fine :)

Go go go!

Go on; you know you want to!

GO GO GO This DOES NOT make you a bad parent. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and its only for a week. This will not do your baby any harm at all and will give your hubby some great 1-2-1 time to bond even more with your DS.

My DS is now 6 and has no probs with me going away for a couple of nights 2-3 times a year. He has a great time with his Dad and we talk on the phone all the time and he loves me bringing him back little presents. He was 6 months old the first time I went away for 3 nights. It helps you to recharge your battery's as well - parenting is hard work.

I have a friend's who had never been away from their DD/DS and have had problems as they have become older, trying to get away for a night without their children getting really clingy and making them feel really guilty.

Going wouldn't make you a bad parent.
Personally I dont think I could do it but hey, each to their own.

I left DD1 at 21mths for a long weekend with DH whilst i went on a hen weekend. I cried everyday, especially on the last day. Calls home were very teary. Im sure being heavily pregnant didn't help much either!
Apart from that ive never left the girls with anyone else ( including family) for more than a few hours at a time ( and thats only VERY occasionally) and never overnight.
Partly due to me, partly due to circumstances.

A week away sounds bliss but personally I know I just couldn't do it.

Go! Feeling very envious :)

Actually, if I'm honest, I couldn't do it. I think I would miss DD too much. She would be fine with her Dad.

I've gone away for single nights, both work and to stay with a girlfriend, and on both occasions loved it. DD had a fab time too.

However, both DH and me are fanatical about skiing, so we went this year when she was 17 months old and popped her in the excellent creche where she was happy. Might feel differently about going away without her if DH didn't ski.

It absolutly doesn't make you a bad mum. One of my ambitions was to bring up DD as if I was a bloke, ie ditch the (useless) guilt. Go if you want to, and if you do make sure you enjoy :)

Katy

I wouldn't go, no. I certainly don't think it makes you a bad parent if you do go, but I just can't get my head round leaving a one year old for a week, either parent.