Explaining death...

[banana87]

I could kill DH.

3 year old DD said something about her Auntie (DH's sister) going to see her Mummy. DH told her that Auntie's and his Mummy died. DD said "they got eaten by a fish?" (Finding Nemo). No, he told her she was sick and died and that when you get old you die. That was a few days ago. DD has woken in the night every night since. Tonight she told me she doesn't want to get old and die, and she doesn't want Mummy, Daddy, or Grandad to get old and die. Very upset, very anxious. I just ended up telling her we won't and she won't to calm her down.

How do I deal with this?

Well, not by killing your H, obviously. Thing is, everyone does die. And sooner or later, DC will have to deal with a death in the family, hopefully of a grandparent/distant elderly relative first as this at least is easier to explain as part of the natural order of things. Has your H's mother/grandmother (sorry, bit confused by your post as to who died) died very recently? IF so, please cut your H some slack as he has just lost a family member and might not be at his most thoughtful just now.
When there is a death iin the family, small DC do become upset. It's understandable. You just have to keep reassuring them that they are fine, you are fine, and (at least it's easier to cope with when the death is of grandparent-generation) and mostly people die when they get very old.

We found The Lion King a great resource when DD became curious about death at 3yo (after the death of a family pet), she has taken to the circle of life concept very well

MIL died when I was 16 weeks pregnant with DD. so 3 and a bit years ago. She never knew her.

It's the getting old thing that scares her because she obviously has worked out that you die when you get old. I've told her that will be a very long time from now but it just wound her up more.

She saw the lion king for the first time a few weeks ago. I think she's too young (only just 3) for the circle of life concept, but she has taken from that that MIL is "in the sky with the daddy lion".