Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Parenting

For free parenting resources please check out the Early Years Alliance's Family Corner.

Flip

Original poster

help! My daughter's shop lifter.

9 replies

mummyloveslucy · 04/11/2011 21:35

Hi, my 6 year old daughter has learning dificulties, but not to the extent that she doesn't know right from wrong.
She has shop lifted about 4 times in her life. (Today was the 4th) We've always made her hand it back when ever we found out. She has been put to bed for it, cancelled parties etc. Yet she's still doing it.
Today we were shopping with her and my DH and I take it in turns. When we got to the car, we realised she had a packaged dummy in her pocket. We don't know which shop it came from. i was so angry. I told her how naughty that was and that she wouldn't be going to her sleep over at her Grandmas house. I've explained so many times why it is wrong, and always punnish her for it. It's always baby related things like dummies, bibs that she pinches because we don't buy it for her.
is there anything else we can try? I've thought about having a word with the police to give her a talking to. I really need to nip this in the bud now.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thisisyesterday · 04/11/2011 21:38

maybe she just has really poor impulse control? i mean, kids do generally, but they start to grow out of it... perhaps Lucy will just take a little bit longer with it even though she does know it's wrong she just wants it soooooo badly?

perhaps you could have a talk to her about ways to deal with it rather than just punishing?
ie, if it's baby things she really wants then maybe she could spend some of her own money on them?
or have some for birthday/christmas?

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/11/2011 21:44

I know she does have poor impulse control. The problem is, she wants to be a baby. She wants to suck a dummy (even though she didn't as a baby). She'd very happily drink out of a baby bottle and wear a bib.
That's why we don't let her have these things. Do you think we should? Would it get it out of her system, do you think? It's so hard knowing what to do for the best.
She's very reluctant to grow up and be seen as a big girl. This is the problem we're having, as she has no desire to learn to be independant.

OP posts:

juuule · 04/11/2011 22:11

I would just keep on speaking to her about how it is wrong to take things that are not hers and either confiscate whatever she has taken or make her take it back. That way she learns there is no benefit to what she is doing and she knows you disapprove. I don't think I would cancel parties etc. Hopefully, she will grow out of it.
If she wants to be a baby then I would let her with a few things and tell her that she will always be your baby even when she is grown up. Again she will grow out of it with time.

Some children just take longer to mature than others. Give her time but keep reinforcing what is right and what is wrong without going ott.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Families General parenting

thisisyesterday · 04/11/2011 22:16

if it was me, yes, i would let her have a few things,.

when i was little my best friend and I used to do that. we had this hideous pair of yellow frilly plastic pants that we used to take turns wearing, and we would drink out of a baby bottle lol

I guess the way I see it is she has this urge, this desire, for some reason. iF you indulge it she will go through it and come out the other side. if you don't then she can't go through it, she will keep on wanting to and she will keep on trying to make it happen.
does that make any sense?

it won't hurt her to suck on a dummy now and then, or drink something out of a bottle. you could maybe let her have it but say it's only for one drink a day or something like that?

thisisyesterday · 04/11/2011 22:17

and i can remember persuading my mum to buy a real baby dummy one time for "my doll" and then secretly sucking it myself when i was in bed

Original poster

mummyloveslucy · 04/11/2011 22:23

That does make perfect sence thisisyesterday. I won't let her have the one she nicked. I'll say that i'll buy her one when she has 1 line of stckers on her behaviour chart. Or give her some money and let her choose something.
As long as the dummy doesn't come out in public, I don't mind.

OP posts:

startail · 04/11/2011 22:27

My NT and always very mature for her age DD2 still BF when she was 6, absolutely her choice and she'd have been mortified if anyone at school had found out.
Let her have a dummy or better still a toddlers cup, but it's her job to wash it up and make sure the spouts clean.

thisisyesterday · 04/11/2011 22:36

yeah that's a good idea.. should motivate her with her reward chart! lol

EssentialFattyAcid · 19/11/2011 16:59

If your dd wants to pretend to be a baby then just let her! Most kids like role plays and they are an important part of development.

Perhaps she feels pressurised to be more grown up and this is a bit of a kick back?

Flip