Tantrums

[KD0706]

18mo DD is getting into tantrums in a big way. (and yes I know it will only get worse as she reaches the terrible twos )

So yesterday's big meltdowns were:

1 walking along the riverbank, because I wouldn't let her wade into the river to stroke a swan. I walked a few steps away from her and pretended to be very interested in a bush and after only 3 mins or so she came over to investigate the bush.

2 in a restaurant at lunchtime. I'd already been once with her for a wander (not interfering with others, just around 'our bit' with no other diners in). Then my lunch arrived and I wanted to eat it so I wouldn't walk around with her anymore. She had a full on on the floor tantrum for probably 7-8 mins. I tried a couple of times to hug her during her tantrum but she was having none of it. Eventually she calmed down enough to be soothed. Other than the twice I tried to cuddle her I just ignored her tantrum. I did feel really guilty about other diners though.

So, my question is really what if anything I should be doing differently. My mum says that in example 1 at the river I should have thrown her over my shoulder and continued my walk while carrying a tantrumming toddler. And in the restaurant I should have taken her out onto the pavement and let her tantrum there (I think actually that might have pleased her as what she wanted was an adventure).

I think the danger of scenario 1 was that she could have carried on into the river regardless of interesting bushes. In that kind of situation I think your mum's right and you have to remove them - forcibly if necessary. In a restaurant, tricky. Out of consideration for other diners I'd have probably made a sharp exit. I never think hugs help tantrums... in fact, my experience is that most kinds of intervention just make things worse. If you're in a situation to leave them to strop it out and ignore them, do so. But in a public place, take them out somewhere, spare everyone else's ear-drums.... then ignore them :)

Hee Hee, so basically my mum was right and I was wrong!!
That'll teach me for not just accepting mums advice.

I just feel so sorry for DD with some of her tantrums. Some are clearly just her being a little madam, but other times I really feel she's struggling with her emotions, if that's the right phrase. Like she can't control how frustrated she's getting. And the swan stroking one, she seemed to be in such a tizzy because she didn't think I understood her demand!

I am such a pushover!! I'm sure I'll learn.

Life's tough when you're nearly two :) They do struggle with emotions and being unable to communicate must be frustrating. When my DS reached 2yo I just stopped eating out unless he was asleep in the buggy! Wouldn't sit still in a high-chair for more than five minutes and screamed if he wasn't allowed to explore the restaurant kitchen (which he wasn't). 'Tiredness' IME was the biggest reason for unreasonable behaviour that age. Even the most placid child can turn into a red-faced gargoyle if they're tired.