Ds(5) needs help with learning but I'm utterly crap at it

[JeremyVile]

In terms of his reading and writing he is behind most other kids in his class - am aware of this, always have been and I realise he needs lots help and encouragemnet.

I cant just leave it to the school but I am seriously struggling to have patience with him. I am so not cut out for this kind of thing!

Yesterday for example we were doing his homework, had to make up some sentences for him to read so wrote down 'that is my red scarf' and he couldnt get past 'that'.

I explained (again) that th sounds like th so very simple, 3 sounds, put them together, but but by the time we go to read it again - 15 seconds after i just explained it - he couldnt remember what th sounds like.

Tried a few times to explain then lost all patience and told him he just wasnt trying hard enough.

I have to help him with this stuff, he needs help and it has to be me but im so utterly shite at it - I just cant understand his inability to do something so completely simple and it riles me.

How can I be better at this stuff? cos I'm really not helping matters.

I'm rubbish at it too, if thats any help at all - just so you know you're not alone

I asked the teacher what I should do - ds is a reluctant writer, she was more than happy for him to complete some homework on the computer, she set 'easier' tasks for homework too, rather than sentences we did 'spellings' of more popular words and he's started putting them together. For sentences she said not to get hung up on the order of words, if he can't do that, ignore it and try and do the next one, he could probably do red, is, my and then come back to that, cut them out and put them in the right order...
oh and loads of reading to him as well as him giving it a go, apparently that helps with all writting tasks as they start to hear and visualise the words - I like reading so I've taken that one on board as a mission at least I feel like I'm helping that way

I find when I get stressed ds gets stressed and forgets everything. If ds really can't do the homework I'd let the teacher know, I don't have the toolbox (or patience after a day at work) to teach, I need advice from the experts

Maybe post in Primary section - loads of teachers and parents on there with advice

is he in Y1 - cos if in reception don't worry about at all -
do post in primary school as v helpful about ideas - maybe websites, books etc

and for something like that - I would help him with the words he can't remember so if he can't do "that" -spell it out to him as he writes it

• sound like he need practice with the phonics sounds and blending - so maybe practice with that would be better

and pick a time of day he is more focussed - after school never works for us

I find it frustrating at times too. He still gets simple things such as 'a' and 'and' mixed up. I take baby steps and then look at what he has done over a week and it is amazing to see what has been done in that time.

I would also look at the time/place you are sitting together. For my DS(5) straight after school with a snack for 30 mins is what works best for him. He has a small table with a whiteboard top and we sit together with the TV off. We have started to set goals and a reward for when he reaches them.

DS likes looking at sites such as Cbeebies. Are there programs on TV your DS likes? He may be more interested in sentences like 'Ben 10 can run fast/ has a green watch'.

Play games, draw, do dot to dots or read words he likes and is good as with loads of praise. Chill out and look at it as spending tome together.

He is 5 and there is loads of times to catch up. Make an appointment with his teacher to agree a way forward. It would be good to consider what he is good at and what he needs help with.

The Alphablocks pages on CBeebies would be a fun way of helping your DS get used to building words.

The Cbeebies parents pages are also a good place for getting ideas on how to support your child - here.

Love Alphablocks here.

Oh wow! I didnt realise this thread was here, my laptop froze when i clicked post and i assumed it hadnt posted! Needto check 'threads im on' more often

Thank you all, especially good to hear im not the only one who struggles with this.

Ds used to love the cbeebies website and alphablocks in particular butwe have got outof the habit of going on there. Will try again with it i think.

Alao, im thinking of orddering some jollyphonics stuff as i think having a set way of teaching him, and a specific path to follow id be able to cope with that a bit better.

our school recommended www.ictgames.com ds does these as well as the cbeebies games

It is very boring to help your child read, tbh. I have my finger under the word and look out of the window while dd figures it out. It's the only way I can stop myself yelling 'That - that!'. My dd reads the words she likes, and I read the others - that works.

Does he have a sibling (older and patient or younger) he could read to? Can you get him to read to you while you prepare dinner, I find this helps me not to but in. A teacher I know once told me to count to six slowly under your breath before butting in at all.
When the focus of writing is not on spelling then, get him to do his best and don't correct. If you do correct limit how many corrections you do. Try to praise lots, maybe set a target for praising and make sure you meet it (even if you have to ask blindingly obvious questions to get a right answer, do also praise effort).
If you are doing spelling, try lots of techniques, including writing in shaving foam, using magnetic letters, painting them, singing them etc.