Very clingy baby - any tips

[saintnik]

My 10 month old dd is becoming increasingly clingy, which I guess is probably normal but wonder how best to deal with it. She will often cry until I pick her up and lately has been screaming with Dh only to settle as soon as I take her.

Funnily enough she is fine at nursery but she's been there since 6 months so it's pretty familiar to her. My mum says I was the same as a baby.

Do I "give in to her" with lots of cuddles, because to me that seems the natural thing to do or should I leave her if she's playing up with DH so she learns to settle?? DH gets upset if I take her off him but I can't bear it when she cries....

Sounds perfectly normal and I'm sure it will pass...I'm no expert but I think if you always take her off dh she will always expect this and it seems a bit unfair on him. Why not say to him that you are happy to comfort her if and when he wants you to, so he won't get upset but can pass her over if you are all getting distressed with the crying? I have recently noticed that I am a complete nightmare, always subtly taking over from dh, correcting him or issuing safety advice and have been desperately trying to bite my tongue and let him get on with being the great dad he is. My dd2 (5 months) is getting a bit clingy with me, so I tried to let her have cuddles with as many people as possible over Christmas. Hope you work it out and get lots of advice on here x

Cuddling your baby is not "giving in to her". Follow your instincts, it's very normal and desirable for a baby to be closely attached to her mum. It's a sign you're doing things right.

I suppose I'm hoping that by letting her have her way, so to speak, it'll make her more secure in the longer term.

my friend is forever "rescuing" her dd1 and 2 from their father who has now given up trying to take care of them.
they both now cry when he is taking care of them and she is not in the room
I am sure that you aren't doing this, but i would just be aware of how this is all happening. Your dd will need her mum and her dad thru her life, maybe one more than the other at certain times.
I would go with the flow, but be really careful that your dh gets to have fun with your dd and special times with her. MAybe go out a bit more just now and have a little bit of time on your own so that he can interact with her on his own without you "hovering" around them
Sorry if this isn't what you do....
when ds2 was born here my dh took alot more care of ds1 and he started to hover and rescue ds1 from me at times- it was blinking annoying!
Good luck hth without being too stressful

Sound advice, thanks Oops! He's a great dad and she's only recently been funny with him - probably because she's been ill. It could so easily snowball though - I'm stuck between not wanting to make a rod for my back but not wanting to see her getting too upset! I'm sure it'll work itself out, need to just trust my mothering instincts.

I'm with Franny&Zoeey on this one...ten months is really little, and clinginess during attachment phase is just normal. I took my cues from dd most of the time, though dh has been very involved and I've been careful to include him as much as possible. DD now 2, and absolutley fine with dh looking after her 98% of the time - knowing she can come back to Mum when she really needs to, ie sick, tired, overwhelmed, or just needing Mum.

X post - Saintnik, trusting your mothering instincts says it all: good for you!

i think a united front with both parents and lots of cuddles for dd are required here

Sounds a good plan - nothing I love more than cuddling my gorgeous baby .

Honestly, though - parenting doesn't half make you feel insecure sometimes!! It's great to be able to get advice here, thanks.

My 9 month old is similar. I don't really want her to get used to always coming to me when she's upset but dh gets really angry with her when she won't stop crying - especially at night. I felt so cruel last night when he took her downstairs (so I could sleep for work today) as she kept saying 'mama, mama'.

Even though I love cuddling dd I try to leave her with other people sometimes when she's crying otherwise I never get a break.

My DD was anightmare from 10-15 months! It does get better I have found!
Just see it through, baby will be fine!