dilema

[Boblina]

I have Ds1 (4) and Ds2 (2 in a couple of weeks). DS1 has lots of friends but DS2 doesn't. None of our friends have children DS2 age and with nursery run and then school run for DS1 we have not been able to get to playgroups in time for DS2 so although he is a very sociable child we have not managed yet to make new friends for him. DH wants to have a birthday party for DS2 as we have always had parties for DS1. My dilema who do we invite, DS1 friends who don't tend to play with DS2 or just family (with no children apart from mine and no presents as he has already had them, well not from us). I would be interested to know what would people do or if they have any other ideas. Thanks

Eh, he's two. For DD's second I just invited family and my friends who had kids - so it was more an adult party with kid-friendly environment. She was perfectly happy. At two they don't really play together anyway, do they?

I'd invite family and if you particularly like any of the parents of DS1's friends, invite them to solidify the friendships. But at two, don't worry about who's going to bring a present or not - he's had presents from family, he'll get some from you, that should do the trick.

Not too worried about the presents, just that he is not left playing by himself on his birthday and DS1 playing with his friends. It just feels wrong that DS2 is left out. But as you say he is only two. I know that they mainly play by themselves at 2 but he does try to play with the children and they just tell him to go away.

I wouldn't bother inviting DS1 friends tbh. Just invite family, he's only 2 so I'm sure he won't feel left out whereas if DS1 and his friends were there is would be more like DS1s party and then he would be left out.

Wow, I'd say you're being seriously PFB except that he's your second. Just take him and the family to a zoo or whatever and have some cake and a nice day out. He's two. He'll have his own friends when he starts nursery or reception.

A party isn't obligatory. Especially at 2. Having 'always' done it for DS1 doesn't amount to a family tradition - presumably you've only done it 4 times?!

The point is to do something that's nice for DS2, and I agree that having a party in which none of the children want to play with him is not nice. Instead, do something as a family - a nice outing followed by tea.

I am not that bothered about a party. MY DH really wants him to have one. We are going to go out for the day one of the days, but def want a party on the other.

Why does your dh want one that much, Boblina? Is it because he thinks that's fair? (Which it isn't, really, if your ds2 won't enjoy it.) Or is it because he really loves jelly and ice cream?

I have to say that many 2yos are completely indifferent to parties. But if you feel you must, I'm not sure I know what to suggest. I certainly don't think a party with no mates sounds like a lot of fun.

I think he wants them to be treated the same.

I think what DH thinks is that if DS1 has a party it would not be fair for DS2 to have one. I suppose that DS2 does like DS1 friends. I think that he looks at them as his friends. They don't always push him away and tell him to go. They do sometimes play with him. I think that when DS2 gets a bit older he can decide what to do for his birthday. I know that people have asked what we are doing for DS2 birthday as they would like to see him so a party seems sensible. I think DS2 would enjoy it, just don't want it to be a party for DS1. Maybe I am thinking about this too much.