New baby with a pre-schooler/toddler already - tips for coping please

[TimeWasting]

DD is 2 weeks old now, and I'm on my own with her and DS who is 3 and a half most of the time.

I've found I have to leave her to cry whenever something urgent needs doing - getting food, having a shower, getting DS in bed etc. but she is feeding most of the time and I feel that both DS and the house are being neglected.

I've got a sling I'm going to start using if my sleep-deprived brain can figure it out.

Other top tips please?

None but will shamelessly lurk as will have same gap between my two in jan (congrats by way).

Mine are 5 and nearly 3 now, but from what I remember through the sleep-deprived haze, those first weeks with 2 were tough going.

Not sure what kind of sling you have but I had a stretchy wrap (Kari-Me) which I used daily for first 3-4 months. Sometimes the baby will have to be left crying for a few minutes while you sort out the older one, this just happens, please don't beat yourself up about it.

Also don't worry about neglecting the house, you have enough to do! Prioritise keeping everyone fed (and beans on toast is an acceptable meal) and maintaining basic hygiene - it won't be forever :)

I used to follow a routine of getting out of the house in the morning, then back to the house for nap/quiet time in the afternoon. Now is the time to cut yourself some slack with TV time, you can limit it in a few months when things have calmed down. I also read huge amounts of books whilst feeding the baby (with toddler turning the pages).

It will get better :)

DD is 11 days old.
DS is 3.1.
Sometimes she just has to wait.
Sometimes he just has to wait.
CBeebies is on channel 71! (shamefaced)
House is fairly tip like.
I try and have a tidy up and a shower before MW/HV comes round - if I acheive this, then I am happy!

Hello,
I had a two year gap, and I would suggest embracing CBeebies (a good opportunity for cuddling your toddler, whilst feeding the new-born) and only attempt to do one thing between feeds. For the first few weeks, breakfast, shower/dressed, lunch, and going out for a walk/play in the afternoon was all I managed. I wouldn't stress about the house.
It gets easier, I promise!

Sling
Ignore the house as much as you can (and make sure DP is helping out)

DS is only 14 weeks and I can't actually remember anything about the first few weeks after DH went back to work except I managed to drop DS within an hour of DH leaving (who knew a 2 wo could roll?!) and I think I cried most days for the first few weeks, then it got better.

Take them all to bed for a nap/quiet time/books after lunch - my toddler stopped napping while I was pregnant but it might work and at least you'll get to lie down for a bit. CBeebies I'm afraid Keep your toddler going to pre-school/nursery if he already goes. I don't make a lot of effort to entertain the baby, he just gets to watch whatever we're doing

One useful tip which I got from someone else on here was to prepare lunch/snacks in advance. Things like sandwiches, raw veg, dip etc you can put on a plate when you get the chance in the morning or even the night before, then just pull it out of the fridge when DC1 and you need to eat, rather than trying to prepare food while the baby's crying/DC1 kicking off.

I can't remember how I coped in the first few weeks, it's all a bit of a blur (DD2 now 5 months). She slept in the swing a lot, as well as in a sling. The house was (is ) a mess but no-one got typhoid. After a few weeks I managed to get into a routine of shower/dress immediately on waking so at least I felt better able to face the day (or just swipe over with those deodorant wipes and then get dressed).

Hi,

DS2 is 3 weeks and DS1 is 3 1/2 so feeling your pain! Things keeping me sain are:

getting me and them dressed first thing (as per Zimbah)
prep lunch etc when DS2 sleeps in case i don't get time again
antibac wipes in kitchen and bathroom so i wipe round as i make tea, brush teeth etc. keeps them looking clean (ish)
Cbeebies and playdough!
walking (alot) means DS2 will sleep and DS1 gets worn out (or as much as a 3 year old boy ever gets worn out!)
Pre-school sessions for DS1 - hard to get them both out the door for 8.45 but worth the 3 hour break and DS is happier and worn out too.

Hope that helps a bit - good luck!

get your oldest involved in any housework you do, mine now loves hoovering, sorting and hanging up washing and dusting.

CBeebies all the way - Show Me had my dd gripped so if i aimed to get the ds asleep by 9am i knew i'd have half an hour to get washed and dressed in peace

get any food prepared when things are quiet - i always found the half hour before my dd's tea was often a nightmare as she would be hungry and play up, often disturbing ds so i'd get the stereo crying effect making everything ten times as stressful

get out and about at least once a day - i found ds was generally quite settled in the car seat or pushchair and dd could expend a little energy. i found bounce & rhyme at the library was quite a good activity for them both as dd would not run off and i could just sit and hold ds. over time she's been able to do some of the rhymes with him (round & round the garden, row row etc) is lovely to see them play together (now 2.5 and 5 months)

it does get easier as your little one settles into more of a routine and feeds less often. a few weeks of books and tv won't hurt your oldest and having to cry for a few minutes won't hurt your youngest - it's the only way they have to communicate with you at the moment.

enjoy it as much as you can - take lots of photos (something you can do with your oldest), and take any help you get offered - especially if it means you can get some sleep!