How to stop biting in a 1yo?

[Fuzzled]

That about sums it up really!

He chews toys etc (normal given teething) but is now starting to bite DH & I. I don't mean accidentally biting down when we're playing and rolling about, I mean he'll be cuddling in, turn his head, think about it and bite and now he's trying to bite furniture.

Obviously we do the "No" in a loud, clear voice and the cuddles stop and he's put on the floor, (we also give Calgel/Calpol if he's playing with his teeth a lot) but he doesn't seem to stop, and ignoring it doesn't work.

Help?!

Being the terrible parent that I am, I tend to treat babies that nip the same way I treat dogs that play too rough.... i.e. a smart smack on the back the hand, a firm 'no' and putting them out of harm's way. :)

ds is the same. I think it is combination of teething and just generally being into exploring the world.

What I have done is tell him it hurts and say I don't like it - just because he can hardly speak, doesn't mean he can't understand a lot of what you say - plus I wear clothes that cover flesh (although its not just bare skin he goes for but atleast it gives some protection), and remove him if its a frenzied attack.

He is teething like crazy now but isn't biting me very much so maybe it is sort of working. The furniture and everything else is still getting a chewing though.

DD2 is 17mths and we had a few weeks of biting. Objects and her sister!
Hers was frustration as she got cross and hasn't worked out to express herself just yet so bit the nearest thing.

Well funnily it stopped when she got cross and bit the nearest thing being her own hand! I guess she realised it hurts and hasn't done it since! :)

Just perceiver with the No's. Make it clear that it hurts you too and that your sad.

Its a phase that he will grow out of.

My DS 8 months is also biting me. Always on the top of my arm when I'm holding him. I don't think he understands anything I say and if I say "no" in a loud firm voice he looks scared of me. I just try and keep an eye on him and try to stop it before he does it now.

I certainly wouldn't smack a baby's hand. I don't think a baby is capable of understanding why you are smacking it. I think you'd just be setting yourself up for more problems if you go down that path.

DS 14 months occasionally bites too. It's rare though, he used to do to show his teeth were hurting, now it's fustration. Firm no and put down, no cuddles for a minute. He knows he's not supposed to.

I do sometimes slap his hand for hairpulling (mines). Not hard enough to hurt but enough to shock and he understands why imo.

Sorry meant to say consistency is the key just keep doing what your doing and it will stop eventually. I also find giving something to gnaw on helps, DS won't chew on plastic/rubber etc., but will on food so hard apples (granny smith as opposed to golden delicious) or slices of raw broccoli stalk are good.

SLAPPING HANDS
How tempting it is to slap those daring little hands! Many parents do it without thinking, but consider the consequences. Maria Montessori, one of the earliest opponents of slapping children?s hands, believed that children?s hands are tools for exploring, an extension of the child?s natural curiosity. Slapping them sends a powerful negative message. Sensitive parents we have interviewed all agree that the hands should be off-limits for physical punishment. Research supports this idea. Psychologists studied a group of sixteen fourteen-month-olds playing with their mothers. When one group of toddlers tried to grab a forbidden object, they received a slap on the hand; the other group of toddlers did not receive physical punishment. In follow-up studies of these children seven months later, the punished babies were found to be less skilled at exploring their environment. Better to separate the child from the object or supervise his exploration and leave little hands unhurt.

You are doing the right things, however he's 1yo, he ain't going to stop biting tomorrow. It will take time (weeks/months, years in some cases). Carry on and he will learn to stop. Think of it as preparing yourself for the future as installing good behaviour is a long, boring and repetitive process.

Do remember though he is 1yo and does things on impulse and it will take a long time for him to remember to think first. Also they will still take a long time at this age to pick up cause and consquence.

And this goes for whether you bite/slap them whatever. They don't have the mental capacity to pick it up quicker regardless.

"Slapping them sends a powerful negative message."

Exactly. Which is why it worked. :) DS went on to explore his environment quite normally but stopped biting me or anyone else, which was the intention after all. He's now 11yo and perfectly well-adjusted. There were zero negative consequences Mrs Montessori thank you very much...

Not insisting anyone else follows my example, of course.

CogitoErgoSometimes I can't believe you're advocating smacking a baby! It's impossible to say how smacking has impacted on your son in particular but I think the research/evidence is pretty conclusive that it is not benificial to smack a child under 2.

I'm not advocating anything!!!!! Just saying that I smacked my own baby on the hand when he bit me a) in an almost involuntary reaction and b) in order to get him to release his teeth! Was I supposed to prise his jaws apart or something?... is that kinder? I didn't not it many times, I'll grant you, because he soon stopped biting which was the entire point. Whatever research may or may not say, it is totally possible to say how that experience impacted on my son.... ie. not at all.

The occasional smack probably does no harm at all. But you don't know how those few smacks impacted on him, you don't know if they caused him to be more wary of exploring his environment because you have nothing to measure it against.

And no I don't think you should prise his jaws apart and maybe in your situation a little smack was the kindest thing to do to get him to release his teeth. I don't thing the OP was having that problem though.

Oh give over with the amateur shrink crap. Said at the outset that I'm a 'terrible parent' because I knew someone would be on my case. :)

I'm not saying you're a terrible parent! I don't think the occasional smack is that bad. I just think it's a great idea to smack a baby and I think it can have negative consequences.

*don't

So why post all that emotional Montessori stuff about 'how tempting it is to slap those darling little hands' and 'leave his little hands unhurt'... if you weren't trying to make me feel bad or suggest that I'd deliberately damaged my son? The first time it happens, it's really horrible when your beautiful gentle baby's needle-sharp teeth are clamped into your flesh. There you are, slightly horrified that they can inflict such pain, your eyes are watering, and not sure what to do because you've been so conditioned that 'darling little hands' should never be touched.

I'm not a big one for smacking small children in the normal course of events but the OP asked 'how to stop them biting' and I was being totally honest about how I managed it.

I copied and pasted the whole article. The point of posting it was to show that a study had showed that by slapping your babies hands you could be inhibiting their willingness to explore their environment. That was the point of the post.

My baby has just started to bite me but I'm not horrified that he is inflicting pain on me because I know that he doesn't mean to hurt me.

Babies bite because either they are teething or exploring or trying to release excitement or anger. In neither case they are trying to hurt you or be horrible to you. To react by inflicting pain to them (even being it small) is quite cruel. And not logical because you are doing something similar back. You are hurt so you hurt? Children learn a lot by examples. At this age just ignore them, distract them or say no and turn away. They will soon get the message. Children mostly want to be loved and have a close relationship with their parents. If as a result of some of their actions they loose their attention they will eventually stop doing it. I had the same problem with my son. It took about a month but he eventually stopped completely.