Seriously, what am I doing wrong?

[SaggyHairyArse]

I've got three DC. The eldest two are pretty easy, that is to say they are just normal kids; sometimes I have to remind them to pick up after themselves, they throw the occasional wobbler but on the whole they are no trouble.

My youngest is a fucking nightmare. He isn't particularly naughty but he moans and cries, complains and screams from dawn to dusk. He is 4.5.

He started school in September, at parents evening the teacher said she had no problems at all with him and when he goes to other peoples houses he is Peter Perfect but at home he is murderous.

Today, for example, we went out this morning and met one of his friends, we walked to the beach and he screamed all the way home because I wouldn't/couldn't carry him. He screamed at lunch time because I didn't have more soup. He screamed at the shops because I told him off for kicking his shoes off in the shop so they flew through the air. When i got some petrol, he screamed because I didn't get him anything/took too long. From tea time onwards it was more incessant moaning that flipped me over the edge so that I am in his face shouting that I can't take anymore :-(

He gets all my attention because he completely monopolises every situation and the other two don't get a look in and on the whole I try to tell him why I can't carry him/give him more soup i've not got etc etc and then try to ignore and if I am at home put him in his room to calm down (this results in him destroying his bedroom).

He has pretty much been this way for the last 3.5 years and it is now driving me maaaaaaad. Plus I know I am very short with him at times and I have handled things badly at others.

What to do?

could it be as simple as he is v v v v tired? maybe as the youngest he has been expected to carry on with activities/ fitting in with your eldest 2 and just is a more tired dc than your other 2? i have realised that i expect far more of my youngest in terms of stamina than i ever did of my eldest and i too get far more winging/ tantrums from my 4.5yr old dd2 than ever did from dd1.

LMS, I had the same problem with funding of the course, speak to the college though as there might be a way around it. I was going to put my fees on my credit card but the college has funded me (I think through Adult Learners Grant but i'm not sure as I didn't question it).

With regards to JS v IS. I think when my youngest is 5 they will change it to JS so I have until next March. If they put me on JS then thats fine as the money is the same and I will look for work (just very selectively...), I have applied for one job so hopefully that will appease them for now.

NWAF, you could be right, he has been like this since he was tiny though. It is only recently that my kids have had to go to after school club and we don't do loads of activities as two of my kids have visual impairments and are worn out after just being at school. That being said, it could be tirednes, or a reaction to my marriage breakdown or anything really